Truth and Consequences
by BettyHT
Summary: A prequel story about Adam and his mothers Inger and then Marie. Ben and Hoss have significant parts in the story as well. Eventually planning to merge this story into the Wanderlust and Wives story in an AU version of events.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Laying as still as he could to limit the pain in his backside and in his ribs, Adam Cartwright felt an emotional pain that was almost too much to bear. He tried so hard to be the son his father could be so proud of but no matter what he did, it seemed it was the wrong thing to do. He had told his father he didn't steal that pie from Mrs. Chambers. When his father saw the stain on his shirt, he told him he had lied and that would double the punishment. He tried to tell his father that the stain came from those Morgan boys and their friends but Pa wasn't listening. He had found his father seldom listened when he was angry. Adam didn't understand how that happened but had experienced it a number of times. Those Morgans had thrown him up against a wagon wheel when he had walked up to them when they were eating a pie. He had innocently asked where they had gotten a whole pie, and they had whirled on him in anger.

"Don't you say nothing, Cartwright. Ifn you do, you'll get a lot worse than this, and maybe your ma will get some too. You wouldn't want her to fall down and get hurt real bad, now wouldja?"

"I won't tell, I promise. Just don't hurt my Ma."

Those boys had laughed and hit Adam, and that's when he had balled up his fists and hit back. They were so surprised by that action that they had released him, and that was all he needed. He had run from them back to his wagon. By then, Mrs. Chambers was talking to his Pa. When his father finished talking with Mrs. Chambers, he had questioned his son, but he had that look that said he already knew the answers he wanted to hear. Adam didn't give him those answers, and that's when his father got very angry. Then he had noticed Adam's shirt was torn and pulled up his son's hands and saw that he had been fighting. Adam tried to explain that too but it did no more good than his trying to explain about the pie. After he was punished, he was told to go lie down for the night without any dinner. He wasn't that hungry any more by then anyway, but he was very thirsty. He asked if he could have some water, and his father had glowered at him until he pulled his bed roll from the wagon and placed it underneath the wagon where he usually slept. He pulled a blanket over himself and waited. He expected his Ma back at any time and hoped she would let him have something to drink.

"You punished him, but now you wish to deny him nourishment. That is not fair. He is already too thin. I will bring some food to him."

"You would undermine my authority with my son that way."

"No, you can decide to tell me that it is all right to feed our son."

"Oh, go ahead then. You're going to do it anyway. He probably isn't hungry anyway if he ate a whole pie!"

Shaking her head at her husband, Inger had filled a small bowl with stew and walked to the opposite side of the wagon. She thought that Adam probably had moved as far away from his father as he could because of what had happened. Kneeling down next to her dark haired son, she set the bowl of stew between them.

"Adam, son, I have some dinner for you."

"Ma, I'm not very hungry."

"Is it true then, that you took that pie and ate it?"

"No, Ma, I wouldn't lie to Pa. I didn't take that pie."

"Adam, tell me, how did you get that stain on your shirt then?"

Looking at his Ma, Adam could feel the tears coming. He thought now that she didn't believe him either. He tried to roll over to turn his face away, but Inger wouldn't let him. She took a firm grip on his arm and made him stay close to her.

"Adam, tell me what happened."

"I can't."

"Son, of course you can. Did you try to tell your father?" At Adam's slight nod, she continued. "Then you can tell me. If you trust me, then tell me because I trust you, and I know you will only tell me the truth."

"They said they would hurt you if I told."

"Who told you that?"

Not at all sure any more what he should do, the tears did start to roll down the little boy's cheeks. Inger reached out to pull him to her. She moved the bowl of stew out of the way, and pulled the crying child into her arms.

"Adam, tell me. You know that we will find out eventually. Your father will protect me, and no one will hurt me, but we must know the truth."

Hesitantly and with a quaver in his voice, Adam told her of walking past the Chambers wagon after coming back from the grove of trees near them, and of seeing the boys eating a pie. They had threatened him and hit him, and he hit them only enough to get away. Then he started sobbing when he talked about trying to tell his father who had accused him instead of lying. Inger's temper rose quite a bit at that point. She soothed her son, and then got him to eat the small bowl of stew. He asked for water, and she got him some. He asked for more, and she felt his forehead and that truly dismayed her. Adam had a slight fever. She asked what he was doing in the grove of trees and could tell he was embarrassed and didn't want to tell her.

"You have said you never lie to me. Now not telling what you know is a way of lying too. It is a lie of omission. Now please tell me why you were in those trees."

"I had to go. A lot. It took a long time cause I had to go so many times."

"Is your stomach upset?"

"No, just down lower."

"You need to rest then. I'll be back later with more water. You may hear some loud talk between me and your father. Try not to let it upset you. Sometimes it is the only way to talk with your father."

Purposefully, Inger stood and walked to the Chambers wagon to ask exactly what Mrs. Chambers had seen. Then she walked back to where Ben sat on the other side of the wagon. She was sure that Adam's soft voice and her responses had not been heard by him over all the noises of the camp in the evening. He looked up at her from where he sat, and she could see that he wasn't ready yet to listen so she decided to lay it all on him at once to shake that self-righteous conviction he had that could be so infuriating some times.

"You punished Adam for stealing and accused him of lying and punished him for that too. You never gave the boy a chance to explain. Then you punished him for fighting and again never let him explain. Well I have talked with Mrs. Chambers. She never saw Adam take that pie. She saw him walking by and when the pie was gone, she assumed he took it. The boys who took that pie threatened our son and hit him to scare him so he would not tell anyone who took that pie. You punished him for defending himself. Now he is ill. Will you punish him for that too? You expect too much of him. You want him to be perfect. No one is perfect. Let me tell you, if I was looking for a perfect husband, I would not have married you."

"I can't believe you're saying these things to me. I thought you loved me."

"I do love you, more than life itself, but I love our son too. He is very hurt and it is much more than the physical pain he is in."

"I'll apologize to him. I'll be sure he knows how sorry I am."

"And the next time? He needs your love more than your discipline. What kind of man will he grow into if he feels he must be perfect in all that he does? He will never be happy. He will never find contentment. Is that what you wish for him?"

"Of course not. But Adam is a stubborn boy too and requires a firm hand."

"A firm hand can be a guide or a force. Which one will you be?"

"I have tried to guide him, but it is all so difficult. There are so many dangers out here, and there isn't time to explain each one every time. Adam has to learn to obey without questioning."

"He is already too old. He's only a five year old boy but seems to be more than twice that. He worries that you do not have money, that we will not have enough food. He's concerned over his lack of education and worries constantly that we will not find a place to make a home and that we will wander forever as you have been doing for years. He has no idea what a home is, and I worry that he won't ever be able to put down roots and stay in one place."

"Inger, I promise you we will have a home. Adam will get to be a child and play and have fun. You'll be there to help him while I'm working at building our place. I'm looking forward to settling down and having a place to call home too."

"Well, when this baby arrives, I want you to know I expect you will treat him always with love and kindness so that he can grow into a man with a sweet and gentle soul."

"Of course, of course, ah, what? What baby? You're having a baby? We're having a baby?"

"I thought you knew this afternoon when I fell after helping to push the wagon."

"Well I did think so, but you said nothing more, and I assumed I must have been mistaken."

Ben grabbed Inger in a hug and a kiss then. He called to Adam to come join them. Adam didn't know what had changed and actually preferred where he was for the time being. When Adam didn't join them, Ben looked under the wagon and saw his son with his eyes closed. He walked to the back of the wagon and reached out a hand to touch his son's forehead. He was warm but not too much. A bit relieved at least by that, he walked back to Inger and they talked into the night about the expected arrival of a baby.

Gradually, hearing the murmuring of his parents' voices, Adam drifted off to sleep. The next morning, he slipped out of his sleeping roll and headed into the trees to relieve himself. Dinner had gone right through him. He felt weak and slightly nauseous, but went to collect firewood that was his morning chore nearly every day. He heard his name being called and hurried as fast as his sore backside permitted. He tripped and dropped the firewood he had collected, and in rushing to pick it up so he wouldn't get yelled at for not responding quickly enough, he dropped it all again. He was picking it all up once more when he saw his father's boots come into his field of vision. He did his best to pick the wood up but tears were starting to form in his eyes blurring his vision. When he felt his father's hand on his shoulder, he couldn't help it and he flinched. Ben felt the shudder that passed through his son just from his touch, and knew right then that Inger was correct. Adam was more afraid of him than anything else.

"Adam, Adam, you have nothing to worry about. Dropping the firewood is not a problem. Come here son." Ben wrapped his arms around his son and pulled him close. "I am so sorry about yesterday. There is no excuse for the way I acted, and you have every right to be angry with me."

That was very confusing to Adam. He had never thought to hear his father say something like that. Oh, he wanted him to say that a number of times, but had never expected him to actually say those words. He didn't know what to say.

"Your Ma gave me a good talking to last night. She gave me a pretty hard time, and I deserved it. I've been forgetting why we're out here. It's to build a dream for my family. I can't do that and hurt my family at the same time. Now, can you forgive me for what I did, and give me another chance? You know, I've never been a father before, and apparently there's a lot I have to learn."

"Pa, I was never a son before. I guess I have a lot to learn too."

Ben started laughing then, and picked up the firewood. "Come on now. Your Ma has been fixing up a special treat for breakfast. She remembered that it's your birthday today. So we get to have flapjacks for breakfast and use some of that maple syrup she's got stashed away with her special treats."

That evening, there was cake to celebrate Adam's birthday. He had felt better and better as the day went on. He was able to relax and the stress he had been feeling was gone. For dinner, there was extra bacon in the beans and apple cider to drink. There were no presents because there was no place to purchase even the smallest item. However Adam was as happy as he could remember except perhaps when he had found out that Inger would be his mother. That had meant that he slept under the wagon by himself at night because Inger took his spot next to his father in the wagon at night. It had been a small price to pay to have a mother to love and who loved him. Adam got hugs from Inger every day. Inger encouraged Ben to hug his son as well. On this birthday though Adam got to ride on the seat of the wagon with his father as Inger reclined in the back. She had placed a pillow on the seat for him, and his father wrapped his arm around him several times that day. Eating his cake that night, Adam could only grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Holding his hands over his ears, Adam tried to fight down his fear. Inger had screamed so loudly several times that he was sure something terrible had happened. No one else seemed overly concerned. They told him to be a good boy and sit quietly. That morning, Ben Cartwright had gone off with a hunting party to resupply the wagon train with fresh meat, and Adam fervently wished that he would come back very soon. Adam did sit out of the way and wondered what had happened. After many hours had passed ever so slowly for the young boy, he heard a baby wailing, and it seemed to be coming from their wagon. He couldn't understand that at all because he had not seen anyone go into their wagon with a baby.

Finally, in late afternoon, Ben returned from a successful hunt. Mrs. Chambers immediately went to him and they talked quietly but rapidly. Then Adam watched as his father rushed by him and climbed into the wagon. Ben had not noticed Adam sitting so forlornly next to their wagon. There was more talk in the wagon but Adam could not understand what the low voices were saying. Another woman climbed out of the wagon carrying a sheet bundle. Even more terrified by that sight, Adam felt his heart begin to pound when he saw the sheet was bloodstained. He had not known that Inger was hurt, and tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted to run and hide so no one would see him cry, but then he heard his name being called. His father wanted him to get into the wagon it seemed, but he stood frozen unwilling to see what he thought must be a ghastly sight.

"Adam, come into the wagon, son. Inger wants to show you something."

"Ma! Ma's alive?"

"Well, of course she is, son. Women don't die when they have a baby." But a cloud passed over Ben's face. Adam thought he knew why too because he had overheard his father tell more than one person that Adam's mother had died at his birth, but Adam was also rapidly processing that his Ma was all right. Ben quickly recovered his full smile though and held the canvas flap aside as Adam climbed into the wagon. What Adam had failed to fully process was that Inger had had a baby. He stood in shock seeing Inger holding a baby wrapped in a soft blanket.

"Where did that come from?"

"Son, your mother had a baby. You have a little brother now."

"He's bigger than the other babies on the wagon train. Where did you get him, Ma?"

"Ah, that is a question you need to ask your father sometime." Inger chuckled a little then at the grimace her husband had in response to her statement. "Come closer, Adam, and greet your little brother, Eric."

"How did he get that name?"

"Your Pa and I discussed it, and we decided we liked that name."

"Didn't you tell Uncle Gunnar that you would call a son 'Hoss'?"

"we can't christen a baby with a name like that."

"Well, I'm going to call him Hoss. He looks like a Hoss not an Eric."

"Adam, mind your manners with your mother."

Recognizing that tone, Adam was immediately silent before saying he was sorry. Inger sighed deeply and audibly, and Ben frowned but then smiled. The longer he was married to Inger, the better he was doing as a father and as a husband. He wrapped an arm around Adam.

"Do you want to hold your brother?"

A little worried but even more intrigued by the idea, Adam moved closer to Inger. Ben picked up the tiny bundle that was Hoss and placed him on Adam's lap showing Adam how to use his arm to support the baby's head. Grinning, Adam looked to his father to his mother and back to Hoss. A year earlier, he would not have imagined being this happy.

"Pa, we better get to that land you want. Four of us just won't fit in this wagon."

"We're getting close, son, but I need to find some work. Next spring we're going to finish this long journey and get to that land."

Because Inger wanted to try nursing, Ben escorted Adam from the wagon. He was overjoyed to find that there was fresh meat with potatoes and onion cooking in their stewpot over their fire. Ben couldn't stop smiling, but Adam had a question.

"So, Pa, Ma said you could tell me where she got the baby."

With a deep sigh and then another, Ben tried to buy some time. He had hoped Adam would forget to ask, but the look of curiosity he had proved that wasn't going to happen. Ben was thinking those earlier questions about why the sky was blue and where stars came from were a piece of cake compared to this one. Finally, he tried.

"Well, when a man and a woman, are married first though, want a baby, they hug and kiss and are very nice to each other, then the mama gets a baby."

"So you and Mama did that? Where did you do that?"

"Well, every night we hug and kiss before we go to sleep."

"So you and Mama made a baby in the wagon?"

"Um, yes, well we did, but people don't usually talk about that."

"Why not?"

"Making a baby is a very private thing that a husband and wife do."

"Is that why Mama was hiding that baby until today?"

"Oh, Adam, she wasn't hiding the baby. It was inside her." As soon as those words left his lips, Ben wanted to pull them back. Adam was staring at him wide eyed and incredulous.

"Where?"

Sweating now even though the evening was cool, Ben grabbed two plates to serve up some stew. His son was far too patient and his memory too good for Ben to think that he would forget what he had asked. Ben was furiously thinking about how to explain it all, and finally decided that the truth was the only way to go. "He was in your mother's tummy. You remember when the Chambers' cow gave birth don't you, and that calf came out of the mother. You talked about that for days. Well that's how Eric came out of your mother. That's how you were born too."

Almost praying than that Adam would not ask how the baby got in there, Ben turned to hand his son a plate of stew. He saw that his son had a look of dismay on his face as he processed that information. Adam was silent as he ate and then asked to be excused. Ben was relieved. He wouldn't have to deal with any more difficult questions for a while at least it seemed for Adam was focused in on that last bit of information. Adam went behind some trees and took care of his business. As he emerged from the shadows of the trees, he was confronted again by the Morgan brothers, older than he was and downright disagreeable.

"So, your ma had that baby. Now I suppose that wagon will be rocking again."

"Why would that make the wagon rock?"

"Well cause your pa can start poking your ma again, that's why. Or are you too stupid to know how she got that baby."

"My Pa told me how they got him." And Adam proceeded to tell them what his father had told him. The Morgan brothers were laughing hysterically by the time he finished his short version. Then they filled him in on the exact way a baby got inside a mother. Adam couldn't believe what they were saying. Once they had finished, they laughed again and told him to go talk to his pa again.

Walking back to the wagon, Adam was thinking about all that he had learned. He wondered if his father had lied to him, or if the way he said things was because Adam was so young he didn't think he would understand. Then again, he wondered if the Morgan brothers had lied for they were well known for lying, stealing, and cheating as well as general ruffians. When Adam got back to the wagon, Ben noticed how serious and even worried he looked. He thought perhaps he had told him too much earlier and felt a bit guilty. It was days later before he found out why Adam had that look.

The following day, walking behind the wagon, Adam could see Inger holding Hoss and nursing him. It was another wonder he had wondering how she could be feeding that baby by holding him to her chest with a blanket over him and her. He knew that there had to be an explanation and was thinking about not much else. Several times he had dropped things or bumped into things as he was thinking, and his father had reprimanded him to keep his mind on what he was doing. Each time that happened, Adam would see a disapproving look on his Ma's face. He wondered what she was thinking when she did that for he didn't know whether the frown was for him or for his father. Inger was very good about talking with them privately when she had a concern. Adam waited each day and there was no talk so he assumed it was his father who had done something of which she disapproved, but he didn't know what it was. Inside the wagon, there had been a number of conversations.

"Our son is very curious, and that is just one sign of how intelligent he is. By trying to discourage him from thinking and dreaming, you are discouraging the development of his mind."

"His mind isn't going to do him much good if he can't take care of himself. There are a lot of things out here to worry about, and he's got his mind on other things far too often."

"Ben, don't you remember what it was like to be a child? He's only six years old. You always seem to expect him to act much older. He's very smart and can do that sometimes, but he's too young to be pushed so hard."

"Adam seems to be a happy boy. I don't know why you worry so much about him."

"I worry because I see how he looks at you when you're not looking at him. He fears you too much, and he doesn't trust you enough."

"A boy needs to have some fear of authority. He needs to know there are rules to follow and consequences when those rules are broken."

"Yes, but Ben, there has to be some balance too. A boy should be able to have some fun without looking over his shoulder worrying if his father will disapprove. He's going to start hiding things from you. He'll keep things to himself because he's not willing to risk your displeasure by discussing them with you. Is that what you want?"

"How do you know so much about this?"

"My father was like that, always waiting for some bad behavior he could punish. Gunnar is the result because he was the one most often who got caught."

"And you?"

"I was better at hiding what I did." Inger had a bit of a smirk then, and Ben had to smile.

"I'll talk to Adam when I get a chance and try to find out what's been on his mind and distracting him so much."

"Thank you. You're a good father."

"With your help. I love you so much. You have made my life complete, and we have such a wonderful family now. Next spring when we head to our home, we can talk about what kind of house you want."

"Did you know Adam has some ideas about that? He's been reading some books and the illustrations gave him ideas."

"He's reading books by himself?"

"Oh yes, the others on the train have been loaning books to him, and he's been going through them as fast as he can. He has a thirst for knowledge that is amazing. He might even end up smarter than his father." Again Inger smiled, and Ben's heart melted. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have such a wonderful, intelligent wife.

That evening, Ben asked Adam to sit with him after dinner and chores had been completed.

"Adam, you have been very distracted lately. I would like you to tell me what's been on your mind."

Looking down at his feet, Adam didn't want to answer. He had watched two horses mating after they were corralled inside the wagons the day before. He knew when he saw it that the Morgan brothers had not been lying, but he had no idea how to broach this subject with his father.

"Son, you can tell me anything. I promise I won't be angry. I need to know what you're thinking though so we can work out this problem you've been having keeping your mind on what you're doing. It's a dangerous country out here, and people can get seriously hurt or even killed with even a small amount of carelessness or inattention. What do you say? Can you tell me, please?"

Embarrassed at what he had been thinking but wanting to please his father, Adam told Ben what the Morgan brothers had said to him, and what he had witnessed between the two horses. It hadn't been the first time that he had seen something like that but it was the first time he had an understanding of what they were doing. "So, Pa, did they tell me the truth?"

Ben was thinking that he was sure he didn't know this much when he was six years old, but had to admit that perhaps Inger was correct and this boy was even smarter than he had thought. "Yes, Adam, it is. I didn't explain all the details to you because I thought you were too young to know all about that, but if you wish, we can discuss it now." Adam nodded so Ben explained what happened between a man and a woman that he repeatedly said had to be married for that to happen. When they finished, Adam only had one thing to say.

"Pa, I'm never gonna do that."

"Oh, son, I think you'll change your mind on that someday."

"But, Pa, that's gotta hurt. I fell wrong a couple of weeks ago, and it hurt me there something fierce. I can't see that I would want to do anything like that at all."

Ben reassured him that he had many years before he had to be concerned about that. The two of them slept much better that night, and the next morning, Adam pulled out a sheet of paper that he had folded inside the book he was reading. He showed it to Ben who was amazed to find a drawing of a house. It was well drawn and reasonably to scale which was remarkable.

"See, Pa, we could build this first part and live in there, and then we could add on over here for a kitchen, and then over here for bedrooms upstairs. There's room for a bedroom here for you and Ma. Then there's a little space over here where Hoss and I can sleep."

"What would we use that space for later when we build bedrooms for you boys?"

"I don't know. What kind of rooms do people put in houses? I've never lived in a house so I don't know too much about that."

"Well it could be a parlor, or a sewing room, or even an office."

"See, Pa, you can see it too. We're gonna have a great house. All we need to do is get to that land."

"We're going to have a great house."

"Oh, Pa, you know it too. Can I go show Ma the house we're gonna build for her?"

"Going to build for her."

"Yes, Pa, thank you."

And Adam ran to show Inger the drawing of the house they would build with the office for his father when he got rich and powerful. Inger smiled at her son for he was starting to sound like he shared his father's dream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"He's such a charming boy. And your little one is so sweet, and smiles more than any baby I can remember ever seeing. With those beautiful blue eyes, it's like looking at the sun to see him."

Mrs. Joy Martin was sitting with Inger as they watched Adam play with Hoss in the grass that was beginning to look spring green. Ben was working for Mrs. Martin's husband as a freight hauler. This was where many of the wagons heading west passed through before they hit the other trails heading to Oregon, California, Nevada, or Utah. Most headed to Oregon but not all. Some were heading into the territories owned by Mexico because many of them did not believe they would be living under Mexican rule for long. And as far from Mexico City and any garrison of Mexican troops that there were, they pretty much just lived the way they wanted anyway. Joseph Martin was a fair man. He had two rooms in his barn that he let drivers use while they were working for him. Ben was the only one there, so he let the family use both rooms. One was for cooking and eating which was where the boys slept when Ben was there. The other room was a bedroom for Ben and Inger and where most of their possessions were stored while they lived here.

Hauling freight to Fort Hall in Idaho or going to get freight from as far away as Kansas had Ben on the road most days. The winter had been difficult, but March and April had been warm allowing much more ease of travel. Inger didn't fear so much now for her husband, and they were able to put away a sizeable amount of money from the work. Joy and Inger spent a lot of time sewing and Adam and Ben both had better clothing than they had had for years. Hoss had a good supply of gowns to wear too. Many days, Inger wished that these days could continue for a long time. It was relaxing to be a wife and mother without having to be a traveler and sometimes wagon driver too. Hoss had grown well and was a very healthy and happy baby. Adam had filled out some and wasn't so skinny although he was still slender. He worked hard to provide the firewood they needed and helped with barn chores too. But that still left time for reading, studying, playing, and talking. He was a much more verbal child than when Inger had first met him.

"I almost hate to think of leaving here. This is the first home those boys have known. Adam has become so much more joyous here. And I have so much time to spend with Hoss. He is such a sweet baby, and it has been just a pleasure to be able to hold him and play with him so much. These days pass so quickly. It seems only a short time ago I was laying in a wagon giving birth, and now he's almost ready to walk it seems."

"You know you're more than welcome to stay. Joseph has a hard time keeping drivers here, and there's always work to do."

"Don't you worry here about Indian attacks?"

"Not here. I do worry when Joe is on the road. Just like he told Ben though. Our wagons always carry extra to pay the Indians for crossing their lands. He says they ride down to the wagons real friendly like every time. They get the payment, and there's never any trouble."

"Perhaps it is the respect he gives them that is the main thing. He's is not taking from him as so many whites do out here."

"The real threat are Indian hunting parties that are moving through and don't know that. The biggest threat Joe had once was a party of Pawnee who chased his wagon. He tossed out enough stuff that they stopped to collect it which made it possible for him to get away. The tribes who live along the roads he uses don't ever act that way. Heard there was some trouble west of here though. People using the southern route to California been having some big problems."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you never hear exactly. Trains have been attacked though. Some whites killed some women and children of one to those tribes from the deserts, and they been fighting back. It'll calm down in time. Maybe you oughta delay leaving."

"No, we can't. Ben has his heart set on this year being the year we get to some land we can buy. He said we have to leave early enough to get some crops and a garden in as well as build a house and shelter for the animals."

"Well, I'll be praying for you and those two beautiful boys you got. The men should be home tonight. We'll make a big stew for dinner and some fresh baked bread. We'll have a little celebration of your traveling on then."

As expected the men arrived home with the wagons that night but much later than expected. Muddy roads had slowed their progress each day making for two very tired and grumpy drivers. Ben ate some stew that had been heating for hours awaiting his return and then rolled into bed for some sleep. He barely had a chance to say hello to his wife and children before exhaustion overwhelmed him. It delayed their departure for only a day though as Ben packed up the wagon the next day, and prepared to head out the following day. By then sunshine and wind had dried the mud and traveling was easier. Inger mentioned the Indian troubles that Joy had told her, but Ben said he had heard and seen nothing. They headed out with several other families going in the same direction.

The first few weeks that the group traveled west were uneventful. Their most serious problems were getting clean water and dealing with rain swollen creeks and muddy roads. Then as they got further from settlements and into Mexican territory, there were signs that there had been trouble recently. They found several burned out wagons and old corpses that were little more than bones. It appeared that all the dead were men making everyone wonder what had happened to the women and children who must have been on these wagons. There were metal tools and other evidence that this was a group headed west to farm so the assumption was that there must have been families traveling together as they were. That night the group took extra precautions, but for several days did not see any more evidence of trouble. They hoped it would remain that way. Ben thought he needed to explain things to Adam in case there was trouble. With his voice a bit tremulous because of the situation in which he had placed his family, Ben pulled Adam into a hug.

"Adam, I don't want to frighten you, and of course I know you will be, but there is the chance that there could be very serious trouble. Now if anything happens, the very first thing I want you to do, if you can, is to grab Hoss and hold him tight to you. The other thing you must do is to do exactly what Ma or I tell you to do and no questions. There isn't time in a dangerous situation to ask and answer questions. Do you understand?"

With eyes opened as wide as he could because of his worry, Adam nodded. He had known that things were very tense, but until this moment, he did not realize his father was scared. The most frightening thing he had ever experienced had happened with that one statement for he had never seen his father afraid of anything.

"Don't go away from the wagons for anything without one of us with you. That includes taking care of your business. I will go with you when you need to do that. I know that might be slightly embarrassing for you, but it is far better to be that than to be in danger."

Inger had been telling Ben that Adam behaved much better and was in a much better mood if rules and expectations were explained to him rather than just demanded of him. Ben had found that to be true, and his relationship with his son was getting stronger by the day. They talked of everything now and not just the questions that Adam asked although his questions still had a candor sometimes that caught Ben unprepared.

"I saw that calf that was born on the last train sucking at the momma cow. They told me that was how it got milk, and that's where our milk comes from. Is that how Ma feeds Hoss?"

"Ah, yes, Adam, that is how Ma feeds Hoss."

"Then who fed me cause you said my mother died when I was born?"

"How did you know that?"

"I heard you talking sometimes."

"Eavesdropping is not polite to do."

"Is it eavesdropping if I was laying in my bedroll, and you were sitting by the fire talking with some of the men?"

"Well, perhaps not, but you could have let me know that you were awake and listening."

"I didn't know that you were gonna talk about anything I wasn't supposed to hear."

"Going to talk about. No, I suppose that's true."

"So, anyway, who fed me?"

"Ah, I had to hire someone to do that for you. She was a very nice lady, and wanted to travel to Illinois to join some of her family there. She was supposed to join them after she had her baby, but her baby died. So she was available to help us."

"Do some women have more milk than others because I see some women, and they have very big ones, and other ladies only have little ones?"

Laughter erupted from the wagon then, and Ben knew that Inger was enjoying listening to this conversation way too much. He called back to her. "The rules on eavesdropping apply to wives as well!"

But Ben had a grin on his face by then so Adam wasn't worried that there would be an argument. He leaned back and grinned. He was starting to enjoy these conversations when he could leave his father nearly speechless and clearly uncomfortable. One of these days, he was going to ask his father about something he had seen down by the creek just a few days before. He was going to get some water and saw some of the women bathing. He had been fascinated, and wanted to ask his father why women did not have penises. He had wondered ever since he saw them how they went to take care of their business because he only knew one way to do that.

There would not be such an opportunity though for trouble started the next morning. A man came riding up to the small wagon train asking if he could travel with them. By noon, they were under attack by Indians. No one on the train knew enough to know what Indians they were and why they were so upset. They had the wagons pulled tightly together, but every man there knew that they would never be able to repulse the forces against them for very long. Crates and boxes had been pulled from wagons and used to erect barriers that were used to shield the children as even the women were wielding rifles or shotguns in defense of their families. It wasn't until after the attack that the travelers learned that the man who had joined them had assaulted and killed a woman from that tribe.

The attack on the wagons was ferocious and turned deadly when several of the warriors jumped their horses into the wagon enclosure. Ben yelled for Adam to get under the wagon with Hoss. Inger moved to block the view of her children by the attacking warriors and was stabbed by a lance which dropped her to the ground pinning her there as she was clutching her abdomen. Ben ran to her side, but she could only gasp out one thing.

"Save our children, Ben, save our children first."

"No, I can't leave you."

"Come back for me when the children are safe." Inger's eyes closed then as her body relaxed in unconsciousness or death for Ben couldn't tell at first. Placing his hand on her chest, he could not feel a heartbeat and couldn't see her breathing. All he could see was that lance that had penetrated her body and pinned her to the ground. He pushed himself to leave her side. Standing then, Ben shot one of the warriors at point blank range, grabbed Inger's shotgun, and killed another.

The attacking warriors did not stop, and all the surviving whites fled to some nearby ruins of someone's failed attempt to live in this land. Ben had grabbed Hoss from Adam and took Adam's hand leading his young son at a dead run. The warriors ceased their attack by late afternoon. The man who had joined them was killed. Unknown to the travelers, he had been the main objective of the warriors who converged on the area where they saw that man fall.

When the warriors rode off, Ben nearly ran to the wagons. He couldn't find Inger, but did see the large dark stain on the ground near their wagon. He dropped to his knees sobbing. A search by the travelers did not locate Inger's body, and one child was missing as well. They wondered what could have happened. Only the man who had joined them was still there but with his scalp missing and his body mutilated. Several men and one of the women were wounded and needed care. Ben sat by his wagon cradling Hoss with Adam leaning against him. He sobbed his grief as his sons cried. There were many in the camp who watched the scene and cried as well. The family who had lost a child sat in tears as well wondering where their beloved son had been taken. The night was very quiet. The stranger was buried, a cold meal was prepared, and damages were assessed and repaired as much as possible.

"Pa, where's Mama?" was the most difficult question Adam had ever asked his father. There was only one answer, and father and son cried again as they talked. They both did their best to soothe Hoss and did manage to get the baby to eat some mush. Traveling to follow a dream had lost a lot of its luster that day. But they did travel on and reached the Sierras in Nevada by June. They could have continued on to California, but the beauty of the land, its lush green forests, and mountain meadows seduced both Ben and Adam. Within weeks, Ben had purchased a large tract of land, planted an extensive garden using the seeds that Inger had packed for that purpose, and began felling trees to build a sturdy shelter for the winter. By the time Hoss was a year old, the family had a home and the dream was closer to reality, but the dream was not as pristine as it once was for it had cost them the wife and mother who had given the dream its heart and soul.


	4. Chapter 4

_For readers not used to my writing: yes, I did see those episodes with Inger, but I stray from the canon story quite often. In my stories Adam usually stays on the Ponderosa, Hoss doesn't die (except in one story I wrote), Joe's wife Alice doesn't get killed, etc. For purposes of this story, the loss of Inger had to be handled that way._

**Chapter 4**

"Stop that!" Ben Cartwright was incensed to see some men pushing a Chinese man around in a circle like they were playing a child's game. The small town that was growing on the side of Mount Davidson was drawing some rough men at times. The men moved off because they desired some fun and not trouble. The small Chinese man bowed to Ben and hurried away before anyone else could harm him. Adam was sitting on the wagon seat holding Hoss beside him and witnessed the whole event. The small Chinese man came to hide behind their wagon inciting Adam's curiosity.

"Hello, my name is Adam. This is my little brother Hoss. Do you live here?"

"No, no live anywhere. Come California on ship and now look for work."

"We just moved here last year. Do you want to work for us? Pa's had a hard time finding anyone to help us."

"I cook. I clean. I do laundry. You have work for Hop Sing?"

"Just ask my Pa. He's coming this way right now." As Ben strode to the wagon, Adam called out to him. "Pa, there's a man here who says he needs a job. Do you want to hire him?"

"Where is there a man? I can't see anyone."

Hop Sing walked out from behind the wagon then not afraid any longer because this was the man who had saved him earlier. "I cook. I clean. I do laundry. You have work for Hop Sing?"

About to say no, Ben reconsidered. Every day he used at least two to three hours getting his sons to a neighbor's place so he could go to work, and then retrieved them at the end of the day. In addition of course, he had to pay the neighbor for the service. If he hired someone to work in his home, his children could stay there saving him hours each day, and he wouldn't have to pay a neighbor. "I can't pay much. Once my ranch gets bigger and we have more money coming in, then I could pay more."

"How much you pay?"

"I can pay two dollars a week, and food, and a place to sleep. I'm paying two dollars a week to a neighbor now so that would be your pay. When I can pay you more, I will."

"Yes. I work for you. I ride in wagon or walk to your ranch?"

Chuckling Ben indicated the wagon would be fine. He went into the store to get the items he had asked for and loaded them in the back after paying for them. He saw that Hop Sing did not have a coat or a hat. "C'mon in the store. You're going to need more than what you're wearing. It gets mighty cold here." Once Hop Sing had a hat and a coat, they all got in the wagon and headed to the Cartwright ranch. When they got to the ranch well over an hour later, Hop Sing was surprised. There was a nice house, a stable, and a small corral and nothing else.

"Where you store food? Where you raise chickens and pigs?"

"I don't have much to store yet. The garden was overrun by varmints again this year, and I don't have any chickens or pigs yet. I do have cattle, and I hunt for fresh meat for the table."

"I do gardening too. You buy chickens?"

"If you know how to take care of them, I'll get some. I never raised chickens before and have no idea what to do with them."

"You get chickens, pigs, and cow, and I take care of them."

This was sounding better and better to Ben as well as to Adam. The more Hop Sing talked, the more they liked the idea of expanding their immediate compound. Adam volunteered to help Hop Sing but Ben reminded him that his first responsibility was to watch over his little brother who was old enough to get into trouble and not old enough to understand what trouble was. Because Hop Sing was a man, Ben expected the cooking to be very basic and very similar to what he was able to prepare for his sons every day. Instead the first meal was beef and vegetable stew over mashed potatoes with biscuits and baked apples.

"Pa, this is the best food I ate since . . . " and then Adam's voice trailed off as he never finished the sentence. Ben knew what he meant though.

"It's all right, son. I miss her too. You've been a big help to me since then. Now we have more help so I hope you will have some time to play too. You and Hoss can play once you get your chores done each day."

"Pa, I can do more chores for you too because I'll be at home."

Ben nodded and they finished their meal. Then he went to the room they had intended to use as a small pantry to finish building the bed frame he had started earlier. Once that was finished, he and Adam pulled a mattress onto the bed and got an extra sheet and a blanket. Hop Sing was happy to have his own room even if it was small and spare.

Because Hop Sing was there freeing Ben for more ranch work, he was able to complete his fencing project before winter. With Hop Sing and Adam helping, they were able to cut lots of meadow grass, dry it, and fill the hay loft as well as stacking it outside for winter feed for the animals. Ben pulled loads of rocks to an area near the house to build a smokehouse, and framed up a chicken coop and a pig sty. By spring, they would be ready to raise chickens for eggs and pigs for pork, ham, and bacon. The smokehouse would be ready to smoke those hams and bacon as well as some beef for jerky. For the winter, Ben built a small chicken hutch inside the barn. Once Ben purchased canning supplies, Hop Sing canned as much from the garden as he could as well as a few bushels of apples from a neighbor who only wanted some of his own canned for payment. When the first snows hit, Ben felt far more secure than he had the previous winter when he wasn't at all sure they would have enough food.

Each year, Ben hired men to work for him, and a bunkhouse was added to the compound as well as a storage shed. One of the men suggested they ought to capture some of the wild horses roaming the hills. Once they had those, they expanded the corrals as well. Horses that were not needed for ranch work were sold. Ben's dream was coming true. There were disasters of course. Mudslides took out some fence lines. Storms washed out the hay crop one year. One winter was especially bad and at least half of the herd perished. But every year the ranch grew larger and more prosperous. Hop Sing learned more English, and taught Adam some Chinese. On Adam's ninth birthday, Ben told him that he had a surprise for him. Adam waited wondering what it could be for he had already received the gift of a pocketknife which his father told him he should carry with him always because he would never know when he might need it. His father also told him to carry a small tin of matches and a handkerchief every day as well. These were habits that Adam carried into adulthood. But he was intrigued at that moment by what his father had to say.

"Adam, you are nine years old now. You have been a great help to me in building this ranch and taking care of your brother. I want you to know that we will be adding on to the house. I have the men cutting enough logs to start building that second floor that you drew on the plan for this house three years ago. There will be a bedroom for you and one for Hoss."

"What about you, Pa?"

"The following year, if all goes well, we'll add more bedrooms. I'll get one of those. I already have a bedroom down here so you boys need to get bedrooms first."

"What about Hop Sing?"

"We added on to his room, added a washroom, and a pantry last year. I asked him, and except for wanting a new stove, he's happy with what he has."

"Pa, he does complain a lot about cooking using the Franklin stove and the fireplace. He sure does cook good though."

"He cooks well."

Adam nodded in appreciation of his father agreeing with him while ignoring the grammar lesson in the statement. Adam could speak basic Chinese phrases with Hop Sing, could read any book Ben had, and was learning arithmetic at an amazing rate. Ben hoped that the town would have a school soon because he knew that it wouldn't be long before he had exhausted most of what he could teach his son. He needed to learn more about writing and penmanship among other things that Ben did not feel qualified to teach. Ben also did not have the time to teach his son and run a big and growing ranch as well. There was going to be a meeting in town in the next week to discuss hiring a teacher and building a school. They were doing it in that order because there was no point to having a school if they could not entice a teacher to move to the little community in the mountains.

Within two months, a man answered the town's request to be their first teacher. Ben and a number of fathers in the community held a schoolhouse raising on a weekend. Once the basic structure was there, finishing work was begun, a fireplace was built, and a stove was installed. Families brought loads of firewood, and a necessary was constructed. By the time the teacher arrived, the school was ready. It still smelled of the pine logs that were its shell, but inside it was clean and as organized as any schoolroom in the country. On the first Monday in October, school opened with sixteen students from six through eleven years old. Adam was excited to go to school and Ben rode with him there the first day.

"Now, you mind your manners, and make sure you do everything that is asked of you."

"I will, Pa. I wanted to go to school for so long. This is a dream come true."

After showing Adam how to tie his pony for the day, and how to make sure he had food and water, Ben rode home. He had a good day of work, and waited to hear Adam's pony ride into the yard. Anxious to hear how his first day of school was, when Ben heard him ride in, he walked out to the stable to talk with his son. By the time he reached the stable, Adam was already unsaddling his pony. He was silent as Ben walked in and continued with his chores apparently waiting for Ben to open the conversation.

"Well, son, did you enjoy your first day of school?"

"Yes, Pa."

"What's wrong? Did you have a lot of work to do?"

"Yes, Pa."

"Adam, a dream can be a lot of work to achieve. If you thought that school was only going to be fun, then that wasn't realistic. School is hard work."

"Yes, Pa. May I be excused now? I have to clean up, and I have homework to do for tomorrow."

"Of course. Don't forget to spend a little time with Hoss. He missed you a lot today."

"I will, Pa. I missed him too."

Then Adam rushed to the house so his father wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. Each day was like that. Ben had thought that Adam would enjoy school more, but thought that perhaps he was so used to the freedom of the ranch that he was taking some time to get used to the discipline of the classroom. The next day, Ben was working at his desk when he heard a horse in the yard. When he got to the front door, he was surprised to see his new friend Roy Coffee leading Adam to the house. Roy had just been elected as a part-time sheriff in town, and Ben assumed that Adam had gotten in trouble.

"Now, Ben, I see that look you got, and afore you say anything, I hafta tell ya, this boy ain't done nothing wrong. I was riding near the school and seen him leading his horse. I give him a ride home, but as soon as I seen him, I knew there was more to this story."

Ashamed and hurting, Adam looked up at his father expecting condemnation and seeing only concern. Adam was holding a handkerchief to his mouth, and Ben asked why.

"Now, Ben, ya need to keep control of yourself. I'm a gonna handle this. Adam, show your pa."

When Adam lowered the bloody cloth, Ben could see that his lip was split, swollen, and bruised.

"Adam, were you fighting?"

"No, Pa." That was all Adam could say before he broke into tears. Ben reached out his arms to pull his son into an embrace.

"Roy, what happened?"

"Near as I can figure, the teacher hit him. Sounds like he backhanded him pretty hard. Ben, that ain't all of it, neither. Let's go inside."

Once inside, Roy had Adam go into Ben's bedroom. There he had him drop his trousers, and Ben and Roy saw welts and bruises across his backside and thighs.

"Oh, my God. Adam, who did this to you?" Adam couldn't talk. He started sobbing.

Looking at Roy, Ben waited for an explanation.

"Ben, when I offered to give your boy a ride, right off I got the explanation for the lip. But Ben when I pulled him up on my horse, he almost cried having to sit there. I took off my coat and had him sit on that. That's when I knew there was more to this. Now, you and me need to hear this from Adam. Then I want you to fill out a complaint. Now I see your face, and I know you want to take care of this yourself, but I gotta tell ya not to do that. These boys need you, and you sitting in jail for beating or even killing the schoolteacher ain't gonna be no good for these boys."

Slowly, Adam explained that the teacher had called him names from the first day because he knew the answers to every question the teacher had posed. So the teacher had gotten out a big history book and asked Adam questions. When he couldn't answer, he was told that he wasn't all that smart. Any infraction of the rules no matter how small, and no matter whether Adam actually did it or the teacher just thought it was him resulted in physical punishment at recess or after school. The other students stayed away from Adam afraid that any contact with him might cause them to get the same treatment.

"Adam, why didn't you tell me?"

"Pa, he said I was an embarrassment to my father, and brought shame on your house with my actions. I didn't want you to know."

"Why did he hit you in the face?"

"I was late to school cause my pony threw a shoe. He told me I had to stay after to make up the time, and I said I couldn't. Then he got mad cause he said I talked back to him. Pa, I couldn't. It takes me over an hour to get home and it's getting darker earlier. I didn't want to be riding in the dark and making you afraid."

All Ben could do then was to wrap an arm around his son to reassure him he was loved. By then Hop Sing who had seen the injury to Adam's lip was there with a poultice. Ben whispered to him about Adam's other injuries, and Hop Sing said he would draw a soothing bath for the boy. As Adam soaked, Ben wrote out a complaint against the schoolteacher. Roy promised to check with a few other students to corroborate the story, and then he would deal with the abuser.

"Now, you keep Adam home tomorrow, and maybe till the end of the week until this all gets settled out. I'll let you know what happens."

After Roy left, Ben went in the kitchen and pulled a chair up beside the tin tub where Adam was relaxing. The boy was holding the poultice to his lip, but leaning back against the end of the tub. Soothing smells of herbs and other things Ben couldn't identify wafted up from the warm water.

"Adam, I want you to tell me when things like this happen."

"I couldn't, Pa."

"Why couldn't you tell me? I'm your father. I love you, and I would have helped you."

"Pa, I couldn't have said it without crying. You told me when Ma died that I had to control my tears. I try, Pa, but sometimes it's so hard."

"Adam, that was a desperate time, and we had Hoss to take care of. He didn't understand at all why his mother was gone, and we had to control our tears so we could soothe him. I didn't mean for you to never cry. I only needed you to try to do that then."

"I didn't know that, Pa."

"Adam, I'm so sorry. So often I forget how young you are and how inexperienced. You're just a boy, but I have needed your help so many times. I'm so sorry that I have taken your childhood away from you."

"It's all right, Pa. We're building our dream, and I know you love me."

By the late afternoon of the next day, Ben received word that the schoolteacher had been fired and ordered to leave town. A delegation from the town was at Ben's house the day after that. Although a number of women in the town were going to teach for the rest of the school year with each of them teaching one day a week at most, a trained schoolteacher was needed. The leading citizens thought it would be a good idea for Ben to travel to one of the cities in the midsection of the country to find and hire a schoolteacher.

"Ben, Mary and I can take your boys in this winter if you like. Hop Sing and your hands can handle the winter work. We need you to do this for the town. You're the best educated man here except for the doctor but we can't spare him for the whole winter. You're the president of the school board so we think you oughta be the one to go."

After a lot of discussion, it was decided that Ben would go to New Orleans. St. Joseph and other cities along the Oregon and California Trails were unlikely to have anyone who would come to their small town. But New Orleans was a city that valued education, and the group thought that perhaps there would be someone there that Ben could convince to come to their small town to teach.

As Ben packed for the trip, he was actually a bit excited to be going no matter how much he let the school board think it was a huge imposition. Ben had always loved to travel, and now he would travel as a successful rancher. He packed his finest clothing and realized he would likely have to have some made while he was in New Orleans.

As much as Ben was excited, Adam was apprehensive. He had not been separated from his father for more than a week or two in his life, and that had been when his father was working as a teamster, and Inger had been there for him. To be without a parent for as many as five months was frightening to him. Doing his best not to show his worry, Adam sat on a chair in Ben's bedroom and watched him pack. Hoss was napping. Ben was going to drive them to Roy's home. The boys' stuff was already in the wagon. Hop Sing would bring the wagon back along with a load of supplies for the winter. The two permanent hands would handle caring for the stock and doing any maintenance they could during the winter.

The plans were made, and the tickets were purchased. Ben had a list of names already of potential teachers. He would meet with those candidates, hire one if he was found suitable, and if not, find other candidates for the position. Although it would not take five months to do that, the travel would take at least two months, and there was no return to the high Sierras in the middle of the winter. Trying to get through the snow in winter would be foolhardy. The plan was that Ben would stay in New Orleans until the end of February and then travel home hoping that the March weather would permit safe travel.

As Ben drove the wagon to town, he went through the list of things he wanted Hop Sing to do in his absence. Then he went through his expectations for Adam emphasizing that he needed to help care for Hoss and do his schoolwork. Adam would be able to get to school on all but the worst days now because the Coffees lived right at the edge of town. Mary had a garden and some animals and was looking forward to having Adam's help with the harvest and the care of the animals as her arthritis made it difficult to do even the simplest tasks. Adam and Mary got along very well so that wasn't going to be a problem.

Once Ben pulled up by the stage, Adam felt his resolve not to cry faltering. He played with Hoss and made faces to get the little boy to laugh, and that helped. Roy and Mary were there to see Ben off as were a number of school board members. Ben hugged each of the boys and told them how much he loved them. Then he climbed aboard the stage. Roy had his hand on Adam's shoulder and could feel the trembling as Adam tried to maintain his composure. As the stage pulled away, Mary distracted Hoss with a cookie. There was no distracting Adam though. He fought down the feeling of abandonment and turned to his little brother. Hop Sing offered to drive the family to the Coffee home that was on the way out of town for him. They accepted and all sat in the back of the wagon. Mary was talking about all the fun they would have, but Roy noted Adam's glistening eyes. He and Mary were going to have to give special attention to Adam who wanted to be so grown up and in many ways was older than his years. But at this moment, he was a nine year old boy who already missed his father.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

As the stage left Virginia City, Ben began reminiscing. He thought about Elizabeth who had challenged him and supported his dreams. When he had first courted her and learned how intelligent she was, he was intimidated a bit by her quest for knowledge, her quick wit, and her unwillingness to accept blind obedience to tradition. She had stimulated his mind as well as won his heart with her fiery passion. He came to admire her strong code of morality and ethics, and her willingness to stand beside him in anything. Unfortunately her body did not have the strength of her intellect. He had lost her but she had made him a man willing to give his all to pursue his dream. She had also given him a son who was very much like his mother in many regards.

Next Ben smiled as he thought of Inger. Fiercely protective of her family, Inger had taught Ben how to love and be loved. She was not satisfied with a New Englander's assumption that the people around him knew he loved them because he provided for them and worked as hard as possible. No, Inger had insisted that love be shown as love. Hugs and kisses were not something to be treasured and doled out in small payments. No, to Inger, love was to be showered on your family. Her philosophy was that the more love you gave, the more love you got, so give it all away.

Ben frowned then as he remembered Inger's death and the joy that was stolen from him that day. He tried to hide his sorrow from his sons but knew that Adam sensed that something was wrong. Unfortunately although Adam was mature well beyond his years, Ben could not confide to his oldest son that he was very lonely. Adam was still too young to understand a man's loneliness especially when he lay in that bed at night all alone. But Ben was very lonely and the more he had thought about this trip to New Orleans, the more he thought about all the young women there who did not yet have a husband. He was thinking that he had five months to find someone who would find him suitable as a husband.

As Ben traveled seeking to achieve two goals, Adam and Hoss settled in with the Coffees for the winter months. There was no snow yet but there was a chill in the air, and the nights were very cold. In the morning, the water troughs each had a thin sheet of ice on them. Later, Adam was told it would be his job each day to make sure the animals had water. Sometimes he would have to haul water from the kitchen pump. Adam also said he could do the job of providing firewood.

"Now, son, I know you do a lot of work, but it can be dangerous working with an axe and a saw."

"At home, I cut most of the firewood. Pa cuts down some of the big pieces that are too heavy for me, but I do all the rest. I don't mind, really."

Now it made more sense to Mary and Roy that Adam could be so slender and yet so strong. He worked harder than most boys his age. They agreed he could cut the firewood than which made Adam grin. He liked chopping firewood. He could think about things, and it was a good outlet for his emotions that he often found difficult to express. He did a lot of chores for Mary who began to wonder how she had managed without him.

Letters came regularly from Ben or as regularly as the weather and stagecoach problems allowed. Each time Roy would read the letter with Adam and was amazed as was Mary at the boy's vocabulary. Mary was resting one day and heard Adam's joyful yell so she had to come see what was happening. Adam was sitting side by side with Roy. Once again Mary felt badly about not having children, but the Lord had not blessed them with any no matter how hard they prayed. However, Adam was like a son to Roy, and somehow Mary knew their relationship would last. Adam looked up at her with a grin.

"Pa found us a schoolteacher. Now he can come home."

"Adam, I'm sorry but the weather won't permit that. We're due for snow any day now, and your Pa will take a month just to get to the foothills. By then it will be too late to travel here."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Coffee. I just miss my Pa. I like you a lot, and Sheriff Coffee too, but it's just not the same."

""Boy, I understand that. Now your Pa misses you boys something fierce I'll wager. Maybe he'll have a big surprise for you two by the time he gets back."

Mary's 'Roy' didn't come out fast enough to stop her husband. Now Adam's curiosity was piqued and they both knew he wouldn't be satisfied until they explained what Roy had said.

"Now, you see, your pa's been real lonely." Ben had confided in Roy and of course Roy had told his wife.

"Why would Pa be lonely? He's got me and Hoss and Hop Sing too."

"Well, son, ya see it's different for a man. A man can be lonely living without a woman. Now your pa loved his wives, but they're both passed on now."

"Pa can't get married again. Ma wouldn't like that."

"Son, your Ma would've wanted your Pa to be happy now wouldn't she?"

"Yes, but he's married to Ma."

"Well, you see he's married to your mother too then, isn't he. It's jest that them two is already in heaven, and your pa needs a wife here on earth."

"He doesn't need a wife. He's got all the family he needs." Adam was angry and upset which caused Hoss to start crying. Hoss had no idea why Adam was upset, but Hoss got upset any time Adam was upset. Seeing that, Adam changed his tone and immediately talked soothingly to Hoss who smiled at the big brother he adored. Adam slept with Hoss at night here at the Coffees. He had acted like it was an imposition not to have his own room but actually it was soothing to him too to have his little brother snuggled up beside him all night. Slowly he began to understand why his father wanted a wife, but he still didn't like it. He would think about it though for quite a while.

To try to cheer up the boys, when some nice weather rolled in just before Christmas, Roy and Mary bundled up Hoss and with Adam set out for Carson City. They left very early hoping that they could return the same day. They were going to have lunch in the bigger town and then probably purchase a few small items for Christmas.

Adam took along some coins he had earned by running errands in town and asked if he could shop in one of the stores by himself. Roy waited just outside the door as Adam made his purchases. Adam picked out a pretty handkerchief for Mary and bought a small bag of candy for Hoss. He asked the proprietor what he could buy for a man with the money he had left, and the shopkeeper told him he had more than enough to buy two handkerchiefs so he bought a blue one and a red one. He had a present to give each of the four people most important to him and suddenly remembered Hop Sing. He asked if there was enough there to buy some spices. The shopkeeper looked over his supplies and said he would sell him several packets of spices for what he had left so Adam bought those too. Then all of his purchases were wrapped up in brown paper and the package was tied with string. Adam walked out of the store feeling very good until he saw his old schoolteacher walking toward them.

"Well there's the two who ruined my life. Sheriff, what are you doing with that wretched liar? Come to take another man's livelihood away?"

"Now you see here. You were lucky to walk away like ya done. I woulda let Ben Cartwright tear you limb from limb except then he woulda gone to jail instead a you. Now you move along. I know the sheriff here too, and he won't take kindly to you harassing citizens on the street."

"Well, I'll move along. You just watch yourself. You never know what might happen."

Standing with Adam until the man left, Roy told him to sit on the bench by the store until Roy could go find Mary and let her know to watch out for the former schoolteacher. Adam waited patiently until he heard his name being called from the alley by what sounded like a woman.

"Hey, Adam Cartwright, come quickly. The sheriff needs you. Hurry, hurry, he said you had to hurry."

Adam set his package down on the bench and hurried into the alley but didn't see anyone. He walked down the alley looking for Roy and wondering who had called him. Suddenly from behind, he heard his name being called and recognized the voice. Whirling around he saw his former schoolteacher, and realized at the same time that there was no avenue of escape from this dead end alley. Adam put his hand in his pocket and carefully opened his penknife with one hand. He waited then to see what the man would do.

"You never got properly punished for what you did to me. I mean to take care of that right now. Don't run. It'll just be worse for you if you run."

The man lunged toward Adam who jumped back but now they were only about five feet apart. The man smiled with a devil's twisted grin and took two steps toward Adam who pulled his knife from his pocket and slashed the man as he took his next step. He drew blood with the first slash that had struck the man's forearm. He grabbed the cut with his other hand and was furious.

"You damn insolent brat. I was only going to give you a proper beating for your behavior. But now I think I'll break your neck."

Holding his knife in front of him, Adam slowly retreated. He didn't know what he could do next. The next sound brought relief though. Both of them heard a pistol being cocked and then a second one.

"Now you just turn around real slow like. You make a move on that boy, and I'll have to shoot ya to defend him. Now mind ya, I actually would like to shoot ya, so keep that in mind."

Seeing the Carson City sheriff standing next to Roy Coffee, the former schoolteacher tried to explain away his actions. "Sheriff, that boy attacked me. He cost me my job in Eagle Station, and forced me to try to live by manual labor. Now he attacked me which should only prove that the punishments he got before were justified."

"Let me see now. I heard you say you was going to give him a beating, and then you threatened to break his neck. Around here, mister, that's grounds for someone to draw a knife to defend himself especially when the man attacking him is more than twice his size. Now you're going over to the jail. Don't give me no trouble cause like as not I could add a few more charges onto what you're already facing."

"Charges? For what? I'm the one who got hurt here."

"Oh, attempted murder, assault, disturbing the peace, and about anything else I can think of. Now what do you think the judge is gonna say when I'm the main witness against you?"

"But, but …"

"Best you not say anything more. Roy, you're gonna need to come over to the office. I want you and the boy to make statements too. The judge will want to read em."

After Adam retrieved his package, he walked with Roy to the sheriff's office.

"How did you know I needed help?"

"The wife of the owner of the store heard what was going on and ran to find me. I was already walking back and talking with the sheriff here. We got to the alley just as he went for you the first time. Boy you really handled yourself well there. There's many a man wouldn't a been able to handle that so well."

Standing a little taller with Roy's praise, Adam did have to admit something. "Sheriff Coffee, I was really scared."

"That's normal boy. I would a been scared too if someone was threatening to beat me and then said he was gonna snap my neck. Being scared isn't the issue at all. It's how you handle fear that makes the difference. Some people freeze up, some scream and holler, and some use their heads and try to do the best they can. You're one of those. You done real well, Adam, real well."

After Adam and Roy gave their statements, the sheriff invited them to stay at his house for the night. He said he had plenty of room if the boys would share a bed. The next morning, the Roy got their carriage and the four of them headed home. The town was quiet when they got back so Roy took Mary and the boys to the house before he headed to the office. He was home only an hour later.

"It seems Christmas has brought out the best in folks. No trouble today, and no complaints by anyone either. We'll be able to decorate the house and help you get ready for the holiday."

"What about Hop Sing and the men on our ranch?"

"Well, if you're worried we can take a ride out there now. Hoss is sleeping so this is a good time to go. We'll be back before dinner."

After Adam got the packets of spices he had purchased for Hop Sing, Roy and Adam headed out to the ranch. When they got there, everything seemed to be in order. Hop Sing was thrilled to have company and had all sorts of baked goods to send with them. He was also very happy to receive a gift from Adam.

"Most humble servant thanks number one son. Make me very happy."

"Oh, Hop Sing, you're not a servant. You're part of the family."

Adam's heartfelt comment was more meaningful to Hop Sing than the small gifts he had received. He wrapped is arms around Adam and the two hugged. Adam asked if he could get a few things before they left and filled a small valise with items. Then it was time for Adam and Roy to return to town. Hop Sing had tears in his eyes as he watched them go. He had not felt so loved in so long, and that meant that the emotional impact was very strong.

On Christmas morning, Hoss was up before Adam who had been up late the night before reading. The little boy rushed back into the room.

"Adam, Adam, there's presents. Adam, Adam, wake up. Presents. I can smell my stocking. It smells real good. Hey, Adam, wake up."

"Hoss, why are you up so early. I don't have to go to school today. Sheriff Coffee doesn't have to go to work today."

"Cause you said we get presents. Adam, c'mon. Presents!"

Slowly Adam slid from under the covers, dressed, and then straightened the bed as Hoss waited impatiently by the door. By the time they were downstairs, they were breakfast smells from the kitchen. Hoss ran to his sock hanging by the fireplace.

"Smell it, Adam. Smell. It smells good."

Knowing that it was the candy that he had purchased that Hoss could smell, Adam could only smile at him. Then he looked by the tree and saw there were presents there too. He sat on a chair and took Hoss on his lap. He read the Christmas story that Ben had read every Christmas no matter where they were after Inger had given him the book. On the tree were the ornaments that Ben had received from his wives. Mary had helped Adam put them on the tree the night before. Adam had done all he could to make Christmas seem normal, but he still missed his father terribly and knew he would be gone two to three months more. After breakfast, Roy pulled out a letter from Ben which he had written and asked Roy to save until Christmas morning. There were gifts of clothing for the boys as well. Then it was time for Adam to hand out the gifts he had purchased. Roy and Mary were touched that he would buy them gifts, and of course it was so like Adam to get something practical although Mary loved her lace trimmed handkerchief and said that would be the one she would use when she dressed up for church services. The most fun reactions though came from Hoss when he discovered the bag of candy in his stocking. He decided he liked Christmas very much. Mary let him have one candy, and said he could have another with his lunch. Hoss was elated, and soon, very sticky too.

That night the mild weather ended and several heavy snowstorms blanketed the area with several feet of snow. School was cancelled until the weather improved, and Adam made quite a bit of money helping to remove snow that often was blown back in by the next day. For the next few months, there was nothing much that changed. There also were no letters from Ben which upset Adam even though Roy said there was no reason to worry. With the heavy snows and bad weather mail delivery was sporadic. Roy told him that a letter could be sitting in any one of a number of towns and that he shouldn't worry about his father. But he did worry. A very short letter did come in the last week of February that mostly said that Ben was on his way home. Then just a week later, after a knock on the door of the Coffee house, Adam opened the door to find his father standing there. He froze not knowing what to do.

"Aren't you going to welcome your old father home?"

"Yes, yes, welcome home, Pa."

Ben detected a reticence there that he had not heard before. He went to hug Adam and got a hug in return but not the hug he expected. Hoss on the other hand was overjoyed and came running full tilt at his father who grabbed him and swung him up for a big hug. Hoss kept saying 'Papa' over and over again smiling with delight. Ben had dinner with the Coffees and his sons, and then borrowed Roy's carriage to go home. As they drove, Adam finally asked the question he most wanted to ask.

"I heard you were looking for a woman to marry. Did you find one?"

Surprised by the question, Ben thought a moment and realized what must have happened. "You must have heard something from Roy. Yes, I did. Her name is Linda, and she is very beautiful. I wasn't going to talk about it right away, but as long as you brought it up, I don't want to keep any secrets from you. I'm going back in July to marry her and bring her here. I would like you to come with me to New Orleans."

"If you want me to. What about Hoss?"

"It's too difficult a journey for someone so young. There will be hours and hours riding stagecoaches. Hoss could never sit still for that long."

With a little smile, Adam had to agree. Then he remembered what his father had said about getting married and wasn't smiling any more. Ben noticed and sighed. It was what he expected but had hoped wouldn't happen. Linda had said she thought Adam would be jealous of a woman coming into their family after so many years without a mother. Ben was thinking that she was correct. When Ben told Roy, he was very happy for his friend. Hop Sing was worried at first that he would lose his job, but Ben told him that Linda did not like to cook and clean which relieved him at first, but then he got to wondering about what kind of woman this was that his boss was going to marry. Adam and Hop Sing talked about that more or less one day in the kitchen.

"You go with father to see him marry?"

"I don't want to go, Hop Sing. I would rather just stay here."

"You go, you decide she right for father, you tell him."

"Hop Sing, he doesn't listen to me. I'm just a boy. I don't know anything about marriage."

"You know people. You look at her and she look at you, and you know. Tell father."

"Well, I will if I can, but I still don't think he'll listen to me at all. He's got his mind made up. What could I say that would make a difference?"

"You know if she like Mister Ben had sons. You tell by looking. Listen. Look in eyes. Then tell father. He listen. Just wait for lightning and thunder be done first. Then he think. He know."

"Hop Sing, you are a very smart man. Thank you."

Most of that conversation had taken place in Chinese. Even if Ben had been listening, he would only have understood that his name was mentioned and nothing else. Adam and Hop Sing continued their conversation in English after that part. Hop Sing's English was getting better. He spoke in Chinese like he did in English to simplify it for Adam. As a result of that conversation, Adam didn't grumble any more about the trip. He had a mission now that Hop Sing had set for him. Like any job he had, he would do his best too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

As Ben and Adam rode into New Orleans, Adam decided rather quickly that he didn't like the city. It was loud and smelled bad. He didn't know what all the odors were but the combination of those smells with the heat and the humidity, and he was ready to leave. Once they were on foot, they were jostled by crowds of people and harangued by street vendors selling just about anything. Ben was hoping that Adam was so overwhelmed by it all that he wouldn't notice some of the more unsavory things for sale. Ben got them a room at a moderately priced hotel, and then Ben took Adam out to find a restaurant for lunch. The plan was that Ben would then go to see Linda while Adam waited in the room reading and resting from the trip.

Traveling had not been overly arduous, but ordinary travel by stagecoach was wearing. There was the jarring ride that never seemed to get any easier. Then there were the meals served at way stations that were usually beans and biscuits which might taste all right for one meal but as a constant diet made one long for anything with a crunch or sweetness. Hop Sing had packed some beef jerky for them but it had only lasted for about three fourths of the trip. They were ready for a real meal. The food was tasty and not at all what Adam was used to eating. It seemed there were more fried items and spicy items. He ate a lot though because it was all better than beans and biscuits.

Ben smiled as he watched Adam eat. For most of the trip, Adam had been relatively quiet, reading when he could and watching the landscape intently as when it wasn't blowing dust everywhere or pouring ran down making mud so that the horses were splattering them and the coach with mud even as rain blew in the canvas covered windows. Adam didn't complain, but Ben could tell he was relieved that the journey was over at least for the time being. The last two days the travel had been much easier and the two of them had talked a lot although it was more Adam asking questions and Ben answering. For a moment, Ben was back on that wagon seat with his young son at his side asking why the sky was blue. Then eventually asking why his Ma had to die when she had never hurt anyone in her life. That had been a difficult question because how do you explain the unexplainable to a child and still have them keep their faith in God. Luckily they had Hoss because that was the part of Inger they had left with them, and that happy child had helped both he and Adam to recover from Inger's loss. Adam had suffered nightmares for a long time after seeing his mother die, but eventually those had stopped too. Now Ben was ready to embark on the next step of their life together and hoped that Adam could accept another new mother.

That night Ben returned to the hotel very late. Adam had dressed for bed hours before expecting his father to be back. Then when he had gotten so sleepy he had to go to bed, he turned the lamp down and waited. He couldn't sleep deeply although he nodded off several times. He was worried that perhaps something had happened, and his father wasn't coming back. He was afraid because he knew no one here and wouldn't even know who to ask for help. When Ben leaned down to see if Adam was sleeping, Adam could smell both alcohol and women's perfume on his father. He feigned sleep not sure what he should say in a situation like this. The next morning Adam awoke early. After dressing, he got a book and read quietly by the window relaxing in the cool breeze that came in. He wished he could sit on the balcony but didn't have permission to do that and wouldn't wake his father for so selfish an idea. Eventually Adam saw his father stir and sit up.

"Good morning, Pa. You had a late night last night so I was real quiet this morning."

"Thank you, Adam, but perhaps you should have made some noise. We're to meet Linda for lunch, and you haven't even had any breakfast yet."

"That's all right, Pa. I had a lot to eat at lunch yesterday."

Suddenly it dawned on Ben that he had been so intent on seeing Linda for dinner, he had neglected to make sure his son had something to eat. He was embarrassed about that and feeling a bit guilty so he hurried to clean up and dress. Then he took Adam down to the restaurant and got him some breakfast. It was too close to lunch at ten in the morning, but he wasn't going to make Adam wait two more hours to eat. After breakfast, they browsed through some shops. Adam was most interested in the bookstore, and Ben let him buy two books there. With only limited books available at home, Adam had read most of his books five or six times already. Adam was all smiles as they returned to the hotel. He had his father's undivided attention for two hours and he had two new books too. Then they came down to the lobby, and Adam was introduced to his father's fiancée.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, young man. Your father just gushes with praise about you. What do you think of our fine city here?"

"How do you do, ma'am. I'm sorry, but I don't like the city very much."

"Well, perhaps living in the wilderness and denied the chance to go to school, you don't yet know how to appreciate the finer things a city has to offer."

"No, ma'am."

Linda was a little taken aback by that. She didn't know whether he had just agreed with her or disagreed. Well, she had already been talking to Ben about sending the little pest off to school in the east. He had a grandfather in Boston after all who could take care of him. Now all she had to do was convince Ben to live in a fine city like this. It didn't have to be New Orleans. New York or even Philadelphia would be acceptable to her. She gave an appraising look at the boy who stood in front of her smiling at her, but she could see the smile didn't reach his eyes which were boring into her so intently it made her uncomfortable. They walked outside and hailed a carriage to take them to a friend's estate for dinner. She had the boy sit by the driver so she could snuggle up to Ben. She almost had him in her bed last night, and would have if he hadn't suddenly started feeling guilty about leaving his son alone for so long and bid her a hasty good night. A little sleeping powder in the boy's tea at dinner, and he would be sound asleep by the time they were back at the hotel.

Everything worked as Linda planned it. She had Ben carry Adam up to their room and tuck him in before the two of them took a romantic drive around the city. By the time they were in her neighborhood, she literally had Ben in the palm of her hand. He hurriedly paid the driver and escorted her into her home. Hours later he awakened in her bed and did that guilt thing again which she was finding ever so tiresome. He insisted he had to return to the hotel. She allowed it, but told him to make other arrangements for the next night. She told him she had something special planned and he wouldn't want his young son there. She smiled as she shut the door after he left. Wearing a gown that left little to the imagination, she had given him one last look to make him suffer for leaving her this night. She assumed that by the next night, she would have him doing whatever she asked. This was far better than going to England with Lord Chadwick. He was so tiresome with all the rules and such he expected her to follow. He was fabulously wealthy but Linda had other ways to acquire money if Ben didn't have enough for them to live in the style to which she had become accustomed. The next morning, she was the subject of a discussion between father and son.

"Pa, you still want to marry Linda?"

"Yes, of course I do. Why would you ask me that?"

"Pa, she doesn't like me. She doesn't want me around."

"Oh, Adam, she's just concerned that you are not getting the education you deserve. She pointed out that your grandfather hasn't seen you since you were an infant."

"Pa, she doesn't want me around at all. She doesn't want the ranch either. She wants to live in a city."

"Well, would that be so awful. We could sell the ranch for a lot of money now. I could start up my own business. Linda knows a lot of people who would help me."

"But Pa, that wasn't our dream. That's Linda's dream."

"What is it about her that you don't like that you have all these negative thoughts about her?"

"Pa, she doesn't have kind eyes. Every lady I ever knew had kind eyes. None of them were ever as kind as Ma, but even Mrs. Chambers who said I took her pie was real sorry when she found out she was wrong. Even she had kind eyes. Mrs. Martin had kind eyes. Mrs. Coffee has real kind eyes, almost as good as Ma's."

"Adam, your Ma is gone. You can't try to replace her. You have to give up these silly ideas and give Linda a chance."

"If a woman is going to take Ma's place, why can't I want her to be kind like Ma was, and nice like Ma was?"

"Because every person is different and you have to accept them for who they are."

"But Linda doesn't accept you for who you are. She wants somebody different than what you are."

"Adam, I will not be discussing my decisions with a child. Now find that book you want to read and be quiet."

Dropping his eyes to the floor, Adam got his book and sat by the window to read. His father was going to see Linda again. Adam thought he better follow Hop Sing's advice now and wait to see what his father would do. This time, Ben arranged for a lunch and a dinner to be delivered to the room. Adam had books to read, paper to use for drawing, and he would have plenty for food and beverages. Ben left feeling a bit guilty though as he thought about what Linda had said about Adam and why he shouldn't accompany them on their picnic. In light of what Adam had said, Ben was looking at her ideas and comments differently than he had the day before. He had some questions he wanted to ask her.

By late afternoon, Ben was back with Adam. He told Adam they were going to have dinner and then spend some time walking. Adam could see how upset his father was so he waited quietly for his father to talk. He knew he didn't like it when people pressed him to talk when he wasn't ready. When the two of them went to dinner, Ben looked at Adam and smiled. His son had just saved him from making a huge mistake. He didn't want Adam to think that it was always acceptable to get involved in another person's love life even of those you loved dearly, but in this situation, he had acted with his father's best interest at heart even if he also didn't want Linda in his life.

That afternoon had been enlightening as well as devastating for Ben. He had asked Linda point blank if she wanted to live in Nevada with him, and she had laughed in response. At first the laughter had been teasing and then it turned to derision as she realized Ben was serious. She laid out her plans for them at that point and Adam, Hoss, and Nevada weren't part of them. She planned on a boarding school for Adam, a nanny for Hoss, and a beautiful home in a city for the two of them. She had no consideration for what Ben wanted or dreamed of doing. She had ended their discussion by telling him that she was accepting Lord Chadwick's offer of marriage, and ending her betrothal to him. He had been shattered. The woman whom he had loved so completely spurned him and had a second waiting to take his place if he would not kowtow to her wishes.

"Pa, is Linda going to join us for dinner?"

"Adam, Miss Lawrence will not be joining us. I will not be marrying her. I would like to spend a few more days in the city. I had made arrangements to visit with others whom I met last winter when I was here. You will come with me to everything I have planned. No more sitting in the hotel room by yourself. Anyone who wants to see me has to want to see my son too or they won't be seeing me."

Smiling Adam ate his dinner with more enthusiasm than he had had for days. His father was back to sounding like his father again. Adam had decided that he wouldn't mind much if his father found a woman to marry. He was hoping though that she would be someone with kind eyes. The two of them visited with a number of people in New Orleans and were invited to parties and one picnic.

Somewhere in all of that gaiety, Ben met another woman who caught his eye. It was too soon after the debacle of Linda Lawrence for Ben to fall in love, but he was certainly interested. At the second meeting with her at another soiree, Adam could tell that his father liked this woman very much. He paid attention to her and how she acted and did not get the negative impression he had of Linda at their first meeting. Then he remembered Hop Sing's advice and looked at her face and especially her eyes. Nothing was said about Marie DeMarigny until Ben and Adam were leaving on their trip home. Then Ben was lost in thought for a time until he turned to Adam with a question.

"What did you think of Mrs. DeMarigny when you met her?"

"She's all right."

"Just all right? Doesn't she have 'kind' eyes?" Ben was smiling a little at his son's belief that he could tell if a person was good or bad by looking in their eyes. He was amazed however at the answer he got.

"She's got kind eyes, but there's more there too. She seems very sad, and there was something else. It was like she was scared all the time. She looked like a rabbit does when you're hunting, and they know you're there, but they don't know where you are. They kinda twitch and look all about but don't do anything. I don't know if that makes sense. Do you know what I mean, Pa?"

"Yes, I think I do. And you're right too I think. She did seem very sad and very worried about something. She is also very nice, and seemed very natural. There did not seem to be an effort to be something she wasn't."

"What is she, Pa? What does she do?"

"Ah, well, she's a hostess at a gentlemen's establishment."

Sensing a bit of unease in his father with that statement wasn't enough to stop Adam's questions. "Pa, what's a gentlemen's establishment?"

"It is a place where men go to enjoy activities men enjoy. Because you are still a boy, that is enough answer for you. You will need to be a man before we discuss that any more."

That answer in that tone of voice let Adam know there wasn't going to be any more discussion of that topic, but his curiosity was certainly piqued. He wondered if Hop Sing knew what a gentlemen's establishment was and whether he would explain if he knew. If not, Adam thought that one of the hands might tell him. They told him all sorts of things when his father wasn't around. Apparently they thought his surprised look each time was very amusing. Sitting back with a rather smug look, Adam was sure that plan would work.

Ben noticed that look of Adam's and wondered what he was thinking but didn't dare ask him because it could lead to more questions about Marie and gentlemen's establishments that Ben wanted to avoid. By doing so, he unknowingly had set in motion a series of events which would cause rumors to fly through their community and opinions to be formed of Marie before she ever became his intended and then his wife. Adam would ask the hands about a gentlemen's establishment and when they asked why, he explained that Marie DeMarigny, whom he and his father had met in New Orleans, worked at one. Considering his age, the hands had been reasonably vague about what went on at a gentlemen's establishment, but among themselves, they talked about how Ben had met her and what she did for a living.

As for Ben, he couldn't get Marie out of his thoughts. He had felt a strong physical attraction to her that he had never felt with Linda. She was in his thoughts and in his dreams at night. He also wanted to help her because like Adam he had sensed a deep sadness within her as well as fear. He wanted to take care of her, and get her away from a life that would sooner or later ruin her. He determined that when winter arrived, he was heading back to New Orleans "on business" and his sons would remain at home. If all went well, he was thinking there would soon be a woman on his ranch to be his wife and a mother for his children. With that thought, he fell asleep each night.

As the summer wore on, Ben was thinking about something else. People had asked him what the name of his ranch was. He hadn't thought that was very important until so many had asked. He opened the discussion with Adam one day as they worked on putting in some fencing. Ben was thinking of something like Circle C or Three Cs but Adam had a different thought.

"We should name it something special because it is something special. It should be a name that when people hear it, they think about how beautiful our ranch is."

Ben suggested the Sierra Ranch, the Bonanza Ranch, and a number of others including some Bible references and others from classical literature. Adam was thinking more of what he saw right in front of them.

"Pa, how about what we have right here. Why don't we call it after one of those. We have Foxtail, Bristlecone, Knobcone, Lodgepole, and Ponderosa trees here."

Which one of those trees do you think is the most beautiful?"

"I like the Ponderosa Pines the best and we have a lot of those. I like the Foxtail too but we don't have many of those."

"Then the Ponderosa Pine Ranch it is. What do you think of that?"

"It's kinda long. It seems most ranches have a shorter name than that."

"The Ponderosa sound better to you? I like it."

"I like it too Pa. It even matches the brand you use on the cattle. The three lines make it look just like a pine tree."

"It certainly does although I did mean for the three lines to represent us, but a pine tree is good too. All right then, another decision made. Do you think you could carve out that name on some soft wood?"

"Sure, Pa, I'd like to do that."

Soon there was a sign post pointing to the ranch, and proudly carved in it was just the word 'Ponderosa', and soon that was how people referred to the growing Cartwright ranch on the shores of Lake Tahoe.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Pa, Pa, Mr. Andrews said he can teach me to play a guitar. He said he has one but I need my own if I really want to learn. Pa, there's a guitar in the general store. It's been there for ages. It only costs fifteen dollars." Adam was rushing over to talk with his father after talking with the new schoolteacher outside of the church.

"Adam, that's a lot of money for a toy. I don't think we can afford that right now. There are a lot of expenses with winter coming up and no money coming in during those months."

"Pa, I have some money. I could buy it myself."

Before Ben could say any more, Adam was running up the stairs. "No running in the house!"

"Yes, Pa. Sorry, Pa." Adam turned at the top of the stairs and headed to his room. He came back with a box and a small package. "Pa, I forgot. I bought this for you last Christmas, and I saved it for you, but I forgot I saved it. Here it is, Pa. Merry Christmas a little late."

Opening the small package, Ben was happy to see it was a blue handkerchief. His practical son got him something he could use, but every time Ben pulled this one from a pocket, he would remember his son too. "Thank you, Adam. That is a very nice present. It will make me think of you often."

"We got it when the Coffees took us to Carson City and that Mr. Chesky, ah, oh, I wasn't supposed to talk about that."

"About what? And what did that Chesky have to do with it? And who said you didn't have to tell me about it?"

On the spot, Adam had to tell the truth so he related the story of the trip to Carson City, the shopping, and then the encounter with his former schoolteacher. Adam could see how upset his father was. "It's all right, Pa. Sheriff Coffee said he went to prison where he can't hurt anybody."

"Adam, never ever keep anything that serious from me no matter who tells you not to tell me. That is too important for a father not to know. Someday you'll understand that better when you have children. Now the next question is how did you get money? You didn't take money from the Coffees for helping out, did you?"

"No, sir. I did everything Mrs. Coffee asked me to do. I really like her, Pa. I'm so sorry she's sick so much. She's really nice."

"Yes, yes, enough of trying to change the subject. Where did you get the money?"

"We had a lot of snow, Pa, and I shoveled for people and they gave me money especially as I came back after every storm to help out."

"Did everyone pay you?"

"No, sir, Sheriff Coffee said some people couldn't afford to pay so that was just being neighborly. But Mr. Cass at the store paid me a dime every time. I worked with his son and we shoveled the walk in front of the store, and the door to the storeroom in back where people drop stuff off like eggs and pick up orders too. Mr. Chinders over at the bank never paid me though. I wondered at that because a bank has lots of money, but I did it every time just the same."

"What about school?"

"Oh, I helped shovel at school too. No one gets paid to shovel at school though."

"No, no, I mean you didn't miss any school to do that shoveling, did you?"

"Pa, they called off school with every big storm, and there were lots of storms. I think maybe some of the ladies didn't like teaching so much and didn't mind calling off school."

"That's probably true, son. It takes a special person to be able to teach and to maintain proper discipline at the same time. Now how much did you earn?"

"Well, I added it all up on a sheet like you do with the books. I have sixteen dollars and eighty seven cents."

"Who gave you pennies?"

"Mrs. Mays at the boarding house. I told her she didn't have to give me anything, but she said she had to pay something so she would give me a penny every time. Pa, it's pretty hard for her with all those kids and no husband, isn't it?"

"Yes, and we're bringing some beef to town to give out to the poorer families at Thanksgiving, and I think I know of one family that really needs it."

"Could I come with you too, Pa? I could use some of those pennies and add some candy to give to them too."

"That's a wonderful idea. And I suppose once the wagon is empty, there would be time and room enough to go see about buying you that guitar."

Thinking back to just over a week earlier, Ben had to smile. Roy Coffee had told them that the new schoolteacher had arrived and was looking forward to school opening. He was at the Mays' boardinghouse, and he knew Adam would be excited to tell him he would be able to buy that guitar. The first meeting of the two had happened on the Ponderosa. As president of the school board and as the man who had done the hiring, Ben invited the new teacher to the house for dinner on the previous Sunday. Adam was respectful but very quiet. He responded as little as possible to questions.

"Well, Adam, it is so good to meet you. Sheriff Coffee has told me a lot about you. Now how old are you?"

"Ten, sir."

"You're quite tall for a ten year old."

"I'm almost eleven sir."

"And this must be your little brother, Hoss. How old is he?"

"He's five, sir, almost six."

"You're an extremely polite young man, but I wish we could talk a bit more. Now, Sheriff Coffee told me what happened a year ago. Then he warned me that I better not do anything like that or I would be looking down the barrel of his pistol. He was quite emphatic about that too."

"He told you?"

"Yes, he told me everything. I am so sorry you had an experience like that. Now I must tell you I expect proper behavior in school, but I do not use the belt on any student. I do have a paddle and might use it if I was forced to do that, but I prefer sending notes to parents and having them do that part of the discipline. Does that seem fair to you?"

"Yes, sir." But Adam now wondered if he would rather have that paddle at school instead of facing his father if he ever had to bring one of those notes home.

"I was in the general store looking over some books to buy, and the proprietor said that you buy more books than the rest of the town all together. I would like to see your library sometime if I could. Perhaps you would be willing to loan me some books. Then after I read them, we could discuss them?"

"Oh, I would like that. I have most of my books in Pa's office right over here. He reads most of them too. I have the last two I bought up in my room. I'll go get them." Adam hurried to the stairs without running but just barely.

"Thank you, John. Adam was very fearful of you because the only schoolteacher he ever knew was a scoundrel. I think he'll be fine going to school now."

"That's quite all right. After what Sheriff Coffee told me, I could certainly understand his reluctance to try school again. I will do my best to teach him, but I would guess that in many subjects he may be nearly equal to my knowledge. I hope he is the kind of boy who wouldn't mind helping with the younger students. My experience has been that sometimes teaching brings about the best kind of learning."

"I'm sure he would be willing to help. The boy has a thirst for knowledge that I have never seen in anyone before, but he has a kind heart and generous soul too."

So Adam and Mr. Andrews had discussed books and school until it was time for the teacher to leave. He told Adam he was looking forward to their next chance to discuss books, and Adam had a huge grin with that. Now Mr. Andrews was getting him interested in music. Both Elizabeth and Inger had been musical, and Ben missed that. Perhaps his son could be the musician in the family and bring singing back into the household.

School went well that fall. Ben did his first cattle drive to California. It was a small herd for sale but they got a good price, and promises that they would buy more in the spring if he had extra to sell. Small communities were developing all over the valley and the demand for beef was exceeding the supply. Ben was able to put a nice sum in the bank, and pay his men a bonus. It was a pattern that continued on the Ponderosa as the men were rewarded for the success of the ranch. Ben didn't have trouble hiring the men he needed. With good pay, bonus pay, and Hop Sing's cooking, the hands were happy to stay on the Ponderosa. As expected, Adam was not happy to find out his father was planning to be gone again that winter.

"It won't be as long, Adam. I'll leave just after Christmas and I'll plan to be back at the end of February if at all possible. I'm not taking the stage this time. I'll ride there to be able to go faster. I have 'business' to attend to in New Orleans."

"Can't you write letters and do your business that way?"

"No, son, this particular matter requires that I be there in person."

"Do we have to stay with the Coffees again?"

"No, Hop Sing has assured me that he can take care of the two of you. Roy will check in with you when the weather permits, and I've arranged again for some of the hands to stay on over the winter. They'll be here if you need help with anything. Hoss is getting older now, and he can understand a lot more. I want you to start reading to him in the evenings. He likes to look at the pictures in some of the books I have too. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Pa, I'll take care of Hoss."

So after Christmas, Ben left his two young sons in the capable hands of his cook and traveled to New Orleans. He was determined to find a wife, and if Marie DeMarigny did not accept his suit, then he would seek out another. He needed and wanted a wife, and his sons needed a mother.

On the Ponderosa, the most frequently asked question was by Hoss. "Where's Papa?"

And Adam's answer was always the same. "He went to New Orleans." Then Adam would describe the city and how badly it smelled, and the crowds of people who pushed and hollered. So then Hoss would want to know why his Papa had gone there, and Adam would answer that he had business to do. But more and more, Adam wondered if the business wasn't primarily of a personal nature because his father had said nothing of what he actually was going to do there. Then a letter came and it was not at all when Adam had expected to hear. His father was going to be delayed getting home because he was traveling by ship to Panama, overland there, and then by ship to San Francisco, and would be arriving home sometime in late March if all went well. Something had changed his father's plans, and Adam worried about what had happened. He hoped that his father was not injured. So each night then, Adam showed a map to Hoss locating New Orleans, Panama, and San Francisco to explain to the little boy where their Papa was.

Every day, Adam was practicing the guitar. It had cost him another dollar to get some sheet music, and with the lessons from Mr. Andrews, he was learning the songs on the sheet music. Hoss was entertained by even the early versions of the songs Adam was able to strum and pluck more or less. Hoss would have been happy even if there wasn't a song. He liked the guitar, and when Adam learned one simple melody reasonably well, he requested that Adam play it over and over again. The practice was good for Adam as his fingers gradually developed the callus necessary to play more comfortably. He hoped to have at least one nice song that he could play for his father when he returned. The trip however sounded harrowing and as February ended and March began, Adam started to have trouble sleeping. A number of times he woke Hoss up with his screams from nightmares. Hop Sing started having him drink a soothing tea before he went to bed each night but sometimes the nightmares still came.

Adam's nightmares were similar to the ones he had after the attack on the wagon train when Inger was killed. There was blood, lots of blood in his nightmares. He looked into Inger's eyes as she gasped in pain. He held Hoss as tightly as he could because he had told his Ma and his Pa that he would. Then his father was there, crying, and leading him and carrying Hoss as they ran to escape the attack. That was the point at which the nightmare always got worse because suddenly everyone had a lance in their side and were crying out for help but none came. Adam wanted to help but he never could, and all of his family died before his eyes as he looked on helplessly. That was the point at which he screamed each time.

Then Adam would sit up and hear his little brother crying. He would go soothe Hoss but there was no one there to soothe him. Hop Sing would sometimes bring more tea, but sleep would elude him for hours until exhausted, he would fall into a dreamless sleep. In the morning, he would be sluggish when he got up, but he had chores to do before Hoss was up so he pushed himself to do what he had to do. Then in the afternoon when Hoss was napping, he would chop firewood and kindling. The snow was melting so he was going to be going back to school soon. He had been doing his schoolwork on his own and was anxious to get some feedback. However he also was worried for Hoss. He wondered how he would do with only Hop Sing there because Hop Sing had work to do and didn't always have time to play with Hoss.

"You go school. Mister Ben tell Hop Sing that Adam go to school. Now you go."

"But Hop Sing, what about Hoss. He's crying, and he wants me to stay with him."

"Hoss big boy now. He be better when you go. Now go so Hoss can stop crying."

Not at all sure he should leave, Adam mounted up on his pony and headed to school. He had a decent day at school, but Mr. Andrews noticed how quiet he was so he asked him what was wrong. When Adam told him, Mr. Andrews asked if Hoss could come to school too.

"Adam, he's old enough. There are a couple of students younger than Hoss. They're here because their families can't send the older children and leave the younger ones unattended. Bring Hoss with you tomorrow if you can, and we'll see how he does at school."

When Adam told Hop sing what the teacher had said, Hop Sing agreed it was a good solution for now. But there was one adjustment that had to be made.

"You ride Mister Ben's horse to school then. Your pony not carry two and lunches for two. Mister Ben' horse need someone to ride him. You do it and then no one else has to do it."

"Pa said I couldn't ride a full sized horse until I was twelve."

"You eleven. You close enough. You need to do it. I tell you do it."

So the next day, Adam rode his father's horse to school with Hoss hanging on to him as tightly as he could. At school, the teacher gave Hoss some chalk and a slate to use. Adam wrote Hoss on the slate and then it was Hoss' job to copy that as often as he could. Adam smiled when Hoss showed him his work later. Hoss had tried to copy the other students and had bent over his slate much like Adam did. He had written Hoss about six times. He reversed the s in his name so Adam showed him how to make an s. He praised the other letters Hoss had written and then set him back at the task again. After lunch, Hoss was tired but there was no place to nap in school. Adam had to deal with a very tired Hoss on the ride home. However that night, Hoss went to bed much earlier, and the next day was able to stay awake without a problem. For several weeks then, that was the routine except Hoss did not go with Adam when the weather looked like there might be rain.

On one of those days when rain had been threatening and the skies opened up with a deluge in the late afternoon, Hoss was home and when Adam rode into the yard, there was a carriage standing empty near the house. In the stable, there were two strange horses. Adam wondered who had come to their home with a carriage and wondered why they were staying. He took care of his horse first though drying him, feeding and watering him, and then drying and oiling the saddle and tack. Once everything was done, he headed for the house lugging a large satchel with a couple of books in it.

When Adam opened the front door, he was shocked to see Marie DeMarigny sitting in front of the fireplace holding Hoss who seemed fascinated with her. Adam took off his hat and coat, and set his satchel next to the front door. Not knowing what to do or say, he waited for her to say something, but the person he heard next was his father who was coming down the stairs smiling broadly.

"Adam, I have a wonderful surprise for you. Missus DeMarigny agreed to be my wife. You have a new mother. Hoss is very happy. Come on over and welcome her to our home."

Turning, Adam grabbed his wet hat and coat, and left slamming the front door in his wake. Ben went to follow him, but Marie said perhaps he should wait for Adam had just received a big shock and needed time to adjust. Ben threatened to go adjust him, but he did wait for fifteen minutes before he followed his son. He assumed he would be in the stable and that's where he found him.

"Adam, that was very rude. I want you to apologize to your mother right now."

"My mothers are dead. That woman in there is not my mother."

"You better watch what you say. I've been gone for quite a while, but I am still your father, and you will not speak to me that way. You will apologize for your behavior, and you will watch your tone with me. Is that understood?"

Standing silent and sullen, Adam said nothing.

"My patience is wearing very thin right now. Is that understood? I expect an answer."

"Yes, sir."

"Now go in the house and apologize to your mother."

With a stiff gait, Adam stalked to the house ahead of his father. When they got in the house, they both hung up their coats. Adam walked to stand in front of Marie who was still holding Hoss.

"Missus DeMarigny, I am sorry if my behavior offended you."

"Adam, this is your mother now. You will address her properly or you can go to your room."

Without another word, Adam walked to the stairs and went up to his room. He lay back on his bed and wondered how things could go so wrong so quickly. When he heard a knock on his door, he knew what to expect and wasn't surprised. His father was there and very angry. But Adam was not going to call her ma or mother no matter how many times he was punished. He was absolutely certain of that. Apparently Ben and Marie talked about it because the next morning when he greeted Marie as Missus DeMarigny, she greeted him with a smile. He saw his father's glower but nothing more was said about how he addressed his new stepmother.

Hoss didn't understand why Adam didn't like Marie. Hoss called her Mama right from the start as his father instructed. He liked having a mother now just like all the other children he knew. But each day he saw how angry Adam was when he called Marie that. Hoss loved his older brother more than anything else in the world, and didn't want to upset him either. As Adam worked in the stable on Saturday morning, Hoss went out to talk with him.

"Adam, why don't you like Mama?"

"She's not Mama. Your mother was Mama. She loved us and no one can take her place."

"But she's real nice, Adam. She sounds real pretty too. I like her voice and she laughs real nice too. Maybe if you would let her read to you or sing you a song, you might like her better."

"I don't need anyone to read to me, and I don't want her to sing to me either."

"You're mad all the time now, Adam. Is it just because of Mama, or are you mad at me too cause I don't like it when you're mad at me, Adam."

Sitting down on a hay bale then, Adam pulled Hoss into a hug. "Hoss, I could never be mad at you. You could yell at me or even hit me, and I could never be mad at you. The day is brighter because of you, and the night time is nicer because of you."

"Thanks, Adam. Maybe someday you'll like our new mama like I do. Could you please try?"

"For you, Hoss, I'll try. I promise."

"Thanks, Adam, cause I know you never break a promise."

So as he had promised Hoss, Adam was polite to Marie and called her that when she asked him to use that form of address instead of Missus DeMarigny. He answered any question she asked, but never initiated any conversation with her. He had decided that tolerating her for his father's benefit and for Hoss was what he had to do.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The first time that Marie went to town with Hop Sing to buy supplies, it was clear she had been crying when she returned. She had been in town with Ben numerous times. They had gone to church services with the boys. Ben had taken her to meet his friends and introduce at the bank. Most people were polite although Adam noticed that Marie got them some odd looks, but nothing was said until Marie was in town without Ben. Then the comments were made by some women just loud enough for Marie to hear without being loud enough to draw a reaction from others.

Holding her head high and refusing to be beaten down, Marie was being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. She had tried so hard to survive after her husband's death on a ranch in the west. She had taken the only job she could find that was at all respectable. Her husband had left her with more debts than property making her destitute as soon as he stopped sending money. She barely had time to grieve before the creditors were at her door demanding satisfaction of all the debts. Marie had actually been forced to consider a more sordid way of surviving when Ben Cartwright showed up. He was her knight in shining armor. She had explained everything to him because she did not want a marriage based on less than the truth. He had said that was her past, and that he would judge her only on her future actions.

But in town, somehow people had found out the darker side of Marie's past and were using it to attack her. She had sent men up to women, and she had dealt at the gaming tables and served alcohol. And occasionally if a man got too friendly and his hands roamed too much, she had been forced to tolerate at least some of it because she needed the income from that job. The proprietor never let it go too far, but he couldn't afford to alienate his customers either. So many nights, Marie had cried herself to sleep, and in the mornings, she often went for rides at breakneck speed just to release all the tension in her life.

Marie had thought coming to Nevada with Ben would alleviate her stress and so far, it had been wonderful. Adam was still reticent, but Marie was sure he could win him over in time. She had wished that Ben had not insisted that Adam call her mother or mama because she felt that at his age, it only made him more stubborn and determined to do it his way. Hoss followed her around as she did her daily work, chattering away with her, and asking all sorts of questions. It was clear that Hoss had very little idea of what a mother was and often compared Marie to Mary Coffee who was the only other woman he remembered who had ever taken care of him.

As Marie drove the carriage into the yard, Hoss came running to help. Hop Sing got out and took his packages into the kitchen. Marie took the bolts of fabric into the house. She was planning to make curtains and draperies for all the bare windows in the house for she had found that apparently an all male household didn't think window coverings were necessary. Hoss followed her into the house carrying the package of thread and other items she needed to start sewing. The Marie grabbed two baskets to do the tasks she had forgotten to do that morning.

"Mama, are you sad? You look sad."

"I am just tired, my little one."

"Oh, Mama, I'm not little. Everybody always says how big I am. I'm going to school with Adam next year, so I'm not little any more."

"Yes, Hoss, you are a big boy, and you are such a great help to me. Thank you so much. You brighten my days."

"Hey, Adam told me that too." Hoss stood even a little taller then, and Marie smiled at him. She knew that he would grow to be a good, tender hearted man, but that thought made her remember again all the mean spirited people in town. She frowned, and Hoss was worried again. "Mama, did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, my sweet darling boy, you are everything that is right with my world. Now let's get these eggs in to Hop Sing so he doesn't threaten to go back to China again."

Laughing at that, Hoss picked up the basket with the newly dug potatoes, and Marie took the egg basket as they walked hand in hand back to the house. When they got in the house, Hoss saw his father working at the desk and rushed over to him.

"Mama and me picked the eggs and dug up some taters. Mama looks sad but she says she isn't. She says I brighten up her day. That really nice, ain't it, Pa. Adam done told me the same thing."

"Yes, that is very nice. Now where is your Mama?"

"She went in the kitchen with the eggs. Oh, scuse me, Pa, I forgot I gotta bring these taters to Hop Sing so he don't go back to China." Hoss hurried off to the kitchen nearly colliding with Marie who was coming out of that door.

"Sorry, Mama. I almost forgot to give Hop Sing the taters."

As Marie walked to Ben's desk, she saw him gathering up a set of papers. Ben said he had to get some letters in the mail and would be gone a few hours. Marie had hoped to tell him what had happened and gather a little sympathy, but she knew that the ranch business had to come first in this situation. She wished her husband well, and pushed her hurt feelings deep down inside. Ben rode out shortly after, and Marie got busy cutting fabric for curtains.

As Ben rode into town to drop the letters off for delivery, he was met by Roy Coffee and the two of them walked into the general store together where Ben made arrangements for the letters to go on the next freight wagon to California.

"Now, Ben, I heard what happened in town earlier with Marie, and I hope you ain't too upset."

Looking at Roy with a questioning look, Ben could only ask. "What happened?"

"I woulda thought Marie woulda told ya. Some ladies made some unkind remarks while she was here. Mary heard about it and come told me."

Worried as to what the comments might have been, Ben had his worst fears realized in answer to his next question. "What was said?"

"Well seems some people heard that Marie worked at a gentlemen's establishment in New Orleans, and people done jumped to some conclusions. Now I know Marie is a fine woman, and lots a people out here got things they would rather not have people know, but I thought you ought to know I told everyone I could that Marie is a fine upstanding woman and they got not right besmirching her like that."

"Marie has done nothing to bring shame on herself. Anyone who says that she has can say it to my face and deal with the consequences."

The loudness of Ben's statement and the vehemence with which he uttered it would go a long way toward making most people think twice before voicing any other criticisms of Marie. Roy had suspected it would be so, and thought that a public response to this was just what was needed. Ben said he had to get going then because he was quite sure Marie might need to be consoled and wondered why she had not told him earlier. Then he remembered how focused he had been on his business affairs and that he really had not taken a good look at her before giving her a light kiss goodbye. As he rode, he also had a very good idea as to the source of the rumors because of the use of the term gentlemen's establishment. He planned to have a long, and for Adam, a painful discussion with the boy in the stable.

When Ben got home and walked in the house, a close look at Marie showed that she had been crying. Ben's anger at the busybodies in town and at his oldest son intensified.

"Why didn't you tell me? Roy told me. I love you, and I would have stayed here with you. I should have been here with you."

Collapsing in tears, Marie sobbed against Ben's chest. He held her until he felt her relax a bit and start to breathe more normally than the choking shudders he had felt. He leaned back enough to retrieve his handkerchief and too late realized it was the one Adam had given him. He was forced to hand it to Marie so she could dry her eyes and wipe her cheeks. His shirt was damp from her tears.

"Why don't you lie down for a while? I can have Hop Sing brew up some tea for you."

"Thank you, that would be nice, but I think I'll just sit here for a time. Having something to do helps keep my mind off the terrible things that were said."

Giving Marie one more hug, Ben went to tell Hop Sing that Marie was upset and could use some tea to calm her. Hop Sing immediately got busy. Hoss was in the kitchen having a light snack and Ben asked him to be sure to give Marie a hug as soon as he was done. Hoss smiled and nodded for he liked instructions like that. As Ben exited the kitchen, he heard a horse in the yard and assumed it was Adam arriving home from school. Then Ben stalked out to the stable to have a word with his older son. As soon as he walked in the stable, he bellowed Adam's name. Adam didn't turn at all and kept his face turned toward his horse as he finished unsaddling her.

"Yes, Pa."

"Turn around when I'm talking with you."

As Adam turned, Ben was ready to lay into him for what he had caused, but the sight of Adam's face stopped him. "My Lord, what happened to you? Have you been fighting?"

"Only in self defense."

"What happened?"

"Some boys said some things at school today, and I told them they were liars. Mr. Andrews heard, and he came outside and told all of us to come inside and sit for the rest of the break. Then he gave us all notes to take home to our parents about our yelling at each other in the school yard."

"Well, if there was no fight at school, how did you get so hurt?" Ben wished now that he had another handkerchief for his son's nose was bleeding and the handkerchief he was using was soaked with blood already."

"They waited for me. There were three of them, and they made me get off Beauty. When I did, they started hitting me until I fell down, and then they kicked me. They said it was my fault for getting them in trouble. I tried to fight back, Pa, but there were too many of them. I kept my elbows in like you taught me and kept my left up to protect myself, but it just didn't work against three of them. I'm sorry I'm getting home late, Pa, but I couldn't ride very fast."

"What did the boys say that started all this?"

"I can't say, Pa. Please don't make me say it."

Ben had always wondered what it felt like to have a revelation and found out at that moment. "They were saying things about Marie, weren't they?"

"Pa, how did you know? Why would they say those things, Pa? Marie isn't a bad person."

"No, she is a wonderful person. Adam, did you tell anyone about Marie working at a gentlemen's establishment?"

Looking guilty, Adam nodded.

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I didn't set out to tell anyone. I asked the hands if they knew what a gentlemen's establishment was, and they made some jokes about it that they all laughed at especially when they asked if I was looking for one. I was real embarrassed, Pa. Then they asked me why I was asking if it wasn't for me, and I said it was because my Pa met someone who worked at one, and I was wondering what it was. Pa, they said the same thing you said and didn't explain it at all."

Understanding what had happened and knowing that it was only Adam's curiosity and his own failure to tell Adam that it was a secret that had led to this. He would explain to Marie after he explained a bit more to Adam about what his innocent query had caused. By the time he was done, Adam was in tears.

"I never meant for Marie to get hurt. How can I help, Pa?"

"I think if you go tell Marie just what you told me that would help a lot. It's best that we not keep any secrets around here. Now let's get Beauty taken care of so we can take care of you. Then we'll take care of Mama."

That night after a lot of talking, some tender loving care, and a wonderful dinner, Adam went up to his room. He came down the stairs carrying his guitar and sheet music. He walked to the chair where Marie was sitting and handed her the music. "I've been practicing that song a lot. Pa said you might know how to sing it. He says you sing very well. If I play it, would you sing along with me, Ma?"

Marie burst into tears, and Ben rushed to her side and wrapped an arm around her. Hoss came up and pushed Adam away from her.

"Pa, I didn't mean to make her cry. I really didn't."

"I know, son. Hoss, it's all right. Adam didn't do anything wrong. Your Mama is just very emotional today. She'll be fine. You don't have to worry."

Marie collected herself enough to reach out for Adam's hand. "My lovely son, I was just so touched by you saying that. I'm sorry I cried. It's just the way I am lately. All tears. Come let us sing, and the family shall be as one tonight. Come, Hoss, you sit with me, and Adam will play, and we will sing together."

That night when Ben knocked on Adam's door, he got a muffled answer. When he entered, it was clear that Adam had been crying although he stood with his chin stuck out daring anyone to say that he had been. Wisely, Ben made no mention of it.

"Adam, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You did something wonderful tonight. You put someone else's needs above your own, and that was a very grown up thing to do, and I want to thank you."

"I wanted to make up for hurting her. I never meant to hurt her."

"Now, about those boys who hurt you, I want to come with you in the morning and talk with Sheriff Coffee."

"Pa, I don't want them to go to jail."

"They won't go to jail, but Roy can go talk to them and give them a good scare. If it had been a fair fight, we would be having a different conversation. Now, who was it?"

"Pa, I don't want to be a snitch."

"Adam, they committed a crime. Three people beating on one is bad enough, but to kick you when you're on the ground is inexcusable. Now you do need to give Roy those names."

"All right, if the Sheriff asks me, I'll have to tell. You have to tell the Sheriff what you know if he asks, right Pa?"

"That's right. No one is going to criticize you for cooperating in an investigation. We'll go see Roy, and you can tell him what happened."

"Pa, do we have to go see Sheriff Coffee? Couldn't he come to see me?"

Understanding that Adam needed a way to save face, although his face was battered at the moment, Ben told him another way it could be done. In the morning, he would take him to see Doctor Martin. Then Doctor Martin could tell the sheriff who could go to the school to investigate. By the time Ben was done explaining how that could work, Adam was smiling again. He had been worried about getting a reputation as a snitch, and his father's solution neatly took care of that.

"Thanks, Pa. You're a great Pa." Adam gave Ben one of those rare hugs, and as Ben turned to leave, Marie was by the door. Adam quickly slid under the covers for he didn't want Marie to see him in his nightshirt.

"Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Ma."

"Good night, Adam. Do you feel all right, son? Any problems breathing or anything like that?"

Not wanting to alarm his father, Adam didn't mention that his urine had looked more like tea when he went to the necessary. "No, Pa, I'm fine. Just some bruises."

The next morning, Ben took Adam to see Doctor Martin who found that he had some kidney damage. He told Ben to take him home and keep him there until his urine was a normal color again. Based on that, Sheriff Coffee headed to the schoolhouse, and after talking with the teacher, he stood in front of the classroom to ask a question.

"Now somebody beat up Adam Cartwright yesterday after school. He had to see the doc who's keeping him out of school because of his injuries. Now I need someone here to tell me who done it."

Almost all eyes in the classroom turned to John Miller and his two friends. The teacher then said those were the three who had been in a shouting match with Adam the day before. Roy called them to come to the front of the schoolroom and hold out their hands to show him their knuckles.

"We had a lot of work to do after school yesterday, Sheriff, and we skinned up our hands pretty good."

"Now what kind of work were you doing that caused all three of ya to have skinned knuckles?"

Not having thought that far ahead, John and his friends had no answer.

"Just what I thought. Now, Mr. Andrews, I'll be taking these three with me. They won't be back this week, I'm thinking."

"You're not taking us to jail, are ya, Sheriff?"

"Well, for now, I'll be taking you to your parents, but if Adam Cartwright doesn't survive, then it would be murder charges and you'll be in jail. Don't worry too much though. They don't hang twelve-year-old boys. You'd probably just get twenty years or so in prison. Maybe less if they thought you was sorry about what ya done."

The three boys were pale and silent then as the sheriff ushered them from the school. He had a stern message for each set of parents as he delivered the three boys to their home. When he finished, he rode to the Ponderosa to check in on the boy he thought of like a son. When he got there, Adam was resting in a chair and reading.

"You're not looking too bad for a boy who might die."

"What?"

"Well, that's what I told that John Miller and his friends. Told them they would go to prison if you didn't recover. Doctor told me you probably won't be able to go to school or ride a horse for at least a week, so we can just let them worry about it until then. Their parents might be thinking on that too. That's what they deserve for not doing a better job of raising those boys."

Smiling, Adam invited the sheriff to have a seat and have some of the cookies Hop Sing had put out for him to eat. Roy sat down, and later was joined by Marie and Hoss who all enjoyed the cookies especially after Hop Sing brought out more when he saw they had company.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Is there some urgent business you need to take care of?" Adam saw his father at his desk.

"Yes, I was advised to get these Spanish deeds translated and notarized, and filed with the land office here. Seems that a lot of people are thinking that we're going to be annexed in the near future, and we don't want the trouble some people had in Oregon when President Polk got that signed over. Some of the deeds were in Spanish or even Russian, and the courts are not accepting them as legitimate especially if there is a conflicting claim with a deed that is in English."

"I could translate the Spanish for you if you wish."

"That's right, with all the studying you've been doing for your college exams, I forgot that you were studying French and Spanish in addition to the Latin and Greek. How you keep it all straight, I will never know. Now if you want to come to town with me, we can talk with our lawyer about how he wants to handle this."

There was a lot of chatter from upstairs where Joe and Hoss were planning some project. Little Joe always had some project he wanted to do. Just a week before Adam had to help him with a tree fort. Now the two younger boys were upstairs talking about their next idea. Ben noticed Adam listening to his younger brothers.

"Now don't you let them rope you into doing another project like that tree house. You have enough to do to get ready for college and all the work around the ranch. In less than a year, you'll be going and I want you prepared. Mr. Andrews has been kind enough to prepare a syllabus of things you need to study and do, and I expect that should be what you're working on, not some crazy idea from that six year old up there."

Thinking back to more than six years earlier, Adam had to smile. He wasn't as naïve as he had been when Inger had birthed Hoss. He had seen the changes in Marie and correctly surmised that she was with child long before his father told him. Ben had noticed the lack of surprise when he informed Adam that he would be getting a younger brother or sister. Hoss was as amazed as Adam had been at Hoss' birth, except Hoss asked Adam where Little Joe came from so his father hadn't had to be so embarrassed. Of course, Hoss asked less questions and it was only recently that he had he learned the rest of it. Adam had been willing to share all of his new found knowledge too as he had dated several girls and done a bit of experimenting with kissing and touching. He was looking forward to doing a lot more of that.

"We'll leave when Marie gets back from her ride. Now what's that little grin about?"

"I think it's funny that Little Joe is the one doing the thinking and the planning and Hoss is twice as old, but he gets that smile every time Little Joe comes up with an idea. Then the two of them are so excited until it all goes bad, and then they start pointing fingers. In a few years, Hoss should get over that and not get drawn into Little Joe's schemes."

"Well at least Little Joe doesn't get into a lot of trouble, at least not on purpose."

"Oh, but then he gives you that puppy dog look and that quivering lip. That boy can cry better than anyone I know."

"Oh, and at seventeen, you know so much of the world, huh. You may find when you get to college that there is a great deal you don't know, although you have learned about tobacco and alcohol and a few other things and at a lot younger age than I expected."

"Pa, I was working with the hands all the time. They taught me a lot of stuff. Besides, you got in trouble over that cigar just as much as I did."

Both thought back to that time. Adam liked to watch Ben smoke and blow smoke rings. He wanted to do it too, but his father thought that at thirteen, he was much too young to try tobacco. He forbid Adam to go take any of this tobacco products telling him he needed to be a man before he could share that particular habit with his father. Well Ben had not forbidden Adam from smoking tobacco only that he could not have any of his father's so Adam bought a cigar from one of the hands. His father caught him with it just as Adam decided he was going to throw it away as smoking was disgusting. Ben made him smoke the rest of that cigar which caused Adam to retch everything in his stomach up and then dry heave a number of times after that.

Marie asked Adam at dinner why he didn't want to eat. When he said he couldn't, she asked why and he told her. Ben had been sitting with a smug look at that point thinking how well he had handled that situation but his wife did not share his good opinion of this actions.

"You made our son smoke a cigar until he was ill? How could you do such a wretched thing? He said he was going to throw that cigar away. Don't you think he learned enough from that?"

"Yes, that may have been enough to teach him a lesson about smoking, but I wanted to teach him not to steal. He was told to leave my tobacco products alone."

"But, Pa, I didn't steal your cigar. I bought that from one of the hands."

Hop Sing brought a platter of food to the table at that point making Adam hurriedly leave the table so he never heard the rest of that conversation. He heard later that Marie had let Ben have it for using his son's health as a punishment and how inappropriate she thought that was. Marie had become Adam's champion a number of times. Ben's temper got the best of him sometimes, and it was always Marie who calmed him down. Adam began to find it amusing as he matured that his fiery stepmother was the one who could remain calm when he misbehaved and his logical, strong father was the one who sometimes lost control of his emotions. Just a year earlier, Marie had intervened in what might have been a life altering event for father and son.

At the annual Harvest Dance, Adam had been caught in a compromising position with a girl. The girl's father had gone looking for her when he did not see her dancing or anywhere in the vicinity of the dance floor. He had found her with Adam, and the boy's pants were open and her hand was inside. He had hit Adam and would have done a lot more except Ben and other men were there soon after to pull him away. He had demanded that Ben give his son a whipping for what he had done. Embarrassed, Ben had gotten Marie from inside and driven home. Once they were at home, he told Adam to meet him in the stable. He unhitched the horse to calm down and then walked with the horse to the stable. Adam had stood shamefaced waiting for his father. Grabbing the buggy whip, Ben had Adam strip off his shirt.

"Please, Pa, don't. Pa, I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough. You humiliated me and your mother by your actions. How can we ever hold our heads up in town again? Susan's father is going to be telling everyone what you did. Turn around. I want everyone to know that my son doesn't get away with acting that way."

"Stop it this instant, Benjamin. You would scar your son for life because we were embarrassed tonight. Have you talked with him? Have you asked him what happened?" Seeing Ben's unwillingness to answer was answer enough for Marie. "I thought not. Adam, did you touch that girl inappropriately?"

Adam dropped his head and nodded.

"Above the waist or below?"

With that question, Adam's head jerked up. He stammered out an answer. "Above. I swear. She asked me to."

"Did you want to?"

Adam's head dropped again and he nodded.

"Whose idea was it for her to touch you?"

"It was her idea. She said, um, she said, oh Ma, I can't say it."

"But you let her, and you wanted her to?"

That led to another head drop and a nod.

"Adam, put on your shirt and go to your room. Your father and I will discuss the proper punishment for your actions."

"Now just a darned minute, Marie!"

"Adam, go to your room. This conversation is not for your ears."

For the next six months, Adam had plenty of time to study. He only went to town to get supplies or go to church. He wrote a formal apology to Susan and to her father, and had to sit through a number of talks with his mother and with his father on the proper treatment of a lady. When word reached the ranch that Susan had run away from home and was working as a saloon girl in Carson City, Ben and Marie relaxed. It had become common knowledge that Susan had been with a number of boys and men in town and done far more than what she had done with Adam. Ben realized his son had been naïve and easily manipulated by a woman so he had spent time talking with Adam about how some women used sexual behavior to try to control a man. He told him that he should behave properly with a woman, and not let himself get carried away by desire until he was in love with a woman. Of course Ben emphasized that he had to be married at that time, and Marie would tease him at night asking if he had always stuck by that rule. Ben couldn't answer and usually changed the subject which was answer enough.

Adam's experience with alcohol was mostly an accident. Ben had decided that he would hold an annual party to celebrate spring and the end of the long winter. He planned to have the party coincide with the Easter celebration each year if he could. That way there would be all sorts of activities to keep the children happy too. Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe helped Hop Sing color dozens of eggs and before the party, they hid them all around the outside of the ranch house. Then Adam and the hands had set up tables for food and refreshment. There were two tables for punch. One was the men's punch that was liberally spiked with alcohol, and was supposed to be only for the men although there were a number of ladies who didn't mind the menfolk bringing them a cup or two. The other punch was not spiked and was for the ladies and children. Unfortunately, no one thought to mention to all of the teenage boys that they should not be drinking the men's punch. After watching over the Easter egg hunt, Adam and his friends went to get some punch. They were quite thirsty and each had several cups. The thick fruit juice effectively hid the taste of the alcohol. Then the boys were helpful again in organizing games for the children such as the three-legged race and egg toss. Then they hurried back to the table for more punch that they had found invigorating. With dinner, they had more. By the time the musicians started playing, there were several drunk teenage boys and Adam was one of them.

"Adam, were you drinking?"

"No, Pa. I know you said I had to wait until I was eighteen. Pa, I feel funny, and the buildings keep moving."

"Adam, you have been drinking. Don't lie to me, or you'll just make things worse."

"Pa, I swear, I haven't been shrinking. Honest."

"Adam where did you get the alcohol?"

"Pa, I think I'm gonna be sick."

Turning, Adam nearly made it to the corner of the barn before he threw up. The red color was a pretty good clue. Hop Sing had added lots of color to the punch to make it more festive. Once Adam stopped retching, Ben admonished him.

"Adam, you boys were not supposed to be drinking the men's punch."

"What's men spunch, Pa?"

Suddenly it had dawned on Ben that the boys had been busy with the Easter egg hunt when the punch was brought out. It was the first party they had ever had here with the spiked and the unspiked punch. The boys hadn't known. Ben took his son by the arm, and Marie took the other arm so they could help Adam into the house.

"Pa, what's wrong with Adam? Is he gonna die, Pa?"

"No, Little Joe, he's not going to die, although he might wish he had by morning. No, your brother just had too much partying. He needs to go to bed now."

"Pa, Little Joe and I been partying a lot too. We're not gonna get sick and have to go to bed now, are we?"

"No, Hoss, you'll be fine. Now you two go back to playing, and your Mama and I will take care of Adam."

The next morning, it was nearly eight and Adam wasn't out of bed. Hoss and Little Joe went into his room to see why.

"Don't you two ever knock?"

"Adam, Hop Sing made flapjacks for breakfast, and bacon, and ham, and some of those scrambly eggs you like." Hoss was hoping to entice Adam out of bed so they could all eat.

Groaning, Adam rolled over in the bed. "Get out, just get out."

"Adam, Hoss is really hungry, and I want some flapjacks too with butter and maple syrup on them. Maybe some honey too." Little Joe was getting hungry thinking about that.

Groaning even more loudly, Adam got out of bed and walked to his dresser and retched into the washbasin there. With grimaces and shivers, Hoss and Little Joe quickly retreated, and rushed downstairs to tell their parents that Adam was still sick from the party. Ben told everyone to go ahead and say grace and eat. He walked up to talk with his son. When he got to Adam's room, he noticed the sour smell first. He opened the window wide, and then looked at his pale son with the red eyes.

"I'm sorry you found out about drinking the hard way."

"Pa, what happened?"

"You boys weren't supposed to be drinking the spiked punch, and it's my fault as much as anyone. I should have made sure you knew the difference between the two. Then if you drank some, I would have said you deserved how you feel. Now, you stay in bed. Hop Sing will bring you some tea to drink. Try to drink that and some water. Hopefully you'll start feeling better as the day goes on."

"Pa, that's what alcohol does to a person? How do you stand it?"

"Well, I try not to drink too much, and that's what happened to you. You will find that a little alcohol is refreshing, relaxing, and tastes good. Right now you probably don't believe it, but we'll have to start teaching you about drinking within your limits."

"Pa, I don't ever want to drink again. I don't ever want to feel this way ever."

"Good. Now you know the price you pay for drinking too much. You'll learn your limits as you get older. Now, go back to bed. I'll have Hop Sing come help you clean up and bring you that tea."

As Ben finished with his memories, Adam asked him why he was smiling. He told him it was a little trip down memory lane.

"Must have been good memories then."

"Yes, yes, overall, they were good memories of my son growing into a man. Now let's go wait for Marie to get back, and we'll head to town."

Over the next several weeks, Ben had all of the deeds translated, notarized, copied, and filed with the land office, with a copy at his lawyer's, and a copy at home in his safe. Then at the lawyer's insistence, he drew up a will naming his sons and wife as heirs, and Adam as executor with Marie as his guardian should anything happen to Ben. Ben asked Hop Sing to make a special dinner on the day that all the papers were finally filed away and everything was on solid legal ground. He had the boys clean up, and they were all waiting for Marie to get home so that they could have a celebratory dinner. Adam went to the yard to take care of her horse when she got back. He saw her coming and her horse seemed to be out of control. He yelled for his father, but it was already too late. The horse tried to stop seeing the familiar yard and Adam standing there but he stumbled and Marie went flying. She was a small woman and strong for her size but her neck couldn't withstand the impact of her head on the ground and the snap was audible. Adam ran to her side as Ben exited the house.

"Oh, my God, what happened?"

"She came in riding too fast and Blaze stumbled. Pa, is she going to be all right."

Knowing it was futile, Ben reached down to place a hand on Marie's chest. She was warm but there was no longer a heart beating to keep her that way.

"Go inside, Adam. Keep Joe and Hoss away from here. Go quickly now. Go!"

And Adam had run inside and slammed the door looking a little wild eyed to his younger brothers.

"Adam, what's wrong. We heard ya yelling. Where's Mama?"

"You can't go outside. Mama's been hurt. No, Little Joe, Pa says you're to stay in here with me. Now don't fight me on this."

Of course Little Joe did fight him, but Adam was nearly twelve years older and was able to hold him securely as he kicked and screamed. Hoss stood watching Adam.

"Adam, did something happen to Mama? Adam, you gotta tell us."

"Yes, Hoss, she's hurt. She's hurt really bad."

"I wanna see Mama. Adam, let me go. Let me go!"

With a well placed kick to Adam's groin area, Little Joe got free. Adam fell to the floor in a fetal position in obvious pain. Hoss grabbed Little Joe before he could run outside.

"No, Little Joe. Adam said ya gotta stay here, and you're staying."

Later when Ben came inside, he sat next to them in front of the fireplace and took Joe on his lap. He told them what Adam already knew had to be true. Marie had died in that fall. Little Joe said it wasn't true and ran to his room. Of course he knew it was true, but had never faced any adversity in his life and had no idea how to handle truly bad news. Ben sat at the fireplace not saying a word. Adam took Hoss by the arm and tugged a little to get him to go with him. They went to Joe's room and found him sobbing. Adam sat on the side of the bed and rubbed his back. Almost immediately Little Joe scrambled and threw himself into Adam's arms. Adam held him as he cried and then put an arm around Hoss as he sat next to Adam on the bed with tears flowing too. Both boys asked Adam if it was true, and he nodded which started both of them crying again. After an hour or so, Little Joe was exhausted, and Adam helped him pull off his clothes and pull on a nightshirt. Then he wanted Adam to stay with him so he lay down beside Little Joe until he fell into a fitful sleep. Then Adam did the same for Hoss tucking him in and sitting with him until he fell asleep nearly an hour later. They talked some but mostly Hoss cried, and Adam comforted him.

Once Adam had both boys sleeping, he walked down the stairs to find his father had not moved. Adam went outside, and the hands were asking what they should or could do. Adam told them that the next day would be a normal workday but the day after they would hold a service for Marie at graveside. He asked if two of the men could dig a grave near the lakeshore. They wanted to know where and Adam told them he would pick a spot the next day. Once everything was squared away outside, Adam went inside and sat next to his father who still wasn't moving.

"Pa, you need to go up to bed. I'll help you."

After getting Hoss to sleep, Adam had gone into his father's bedroom and put as much of Marie's clothing and other things out of sight as he could. He knew how difficult it was going to be for his father who had suffered in silence with Inger's death. Losing his third wife had seemed to unhinge Ben a little, and Adam was worried. For the next several months, Adam held the family and the ranch together. His father seemed to be nearly immobilized by the tragedy. Finally as the following spring arrived, Ben began to come back to the family and himself. One day as Adam prepared to go outside and give the men their jobs for the day, Ben told him that was not his job, and he went outside to discuss with the foreman what had to be done. He told Adam he needed to get back to his preparations for college, and they moved forward.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Who helped you? Everyone had your help, but when did you get to cry?"

"I don't cry."

"So you have some amazing power that controls all of your emotions? I don't believe it. Your childhood was very sad. I always felt sorry for myself because my mother killed herself when I was only five, but you lost three mothers even if you can't remember the first one. So how can you not cry?"

Sitting on a ridge above the lake, Rose leaned on Adam's shoulder as she wrapped her arm around his waist. They had been talking for hours, and Adam had explained his childhood to her. Getting him to open up about those years had taken a couple of weeks of cajoling. She knew a lot about his life from college through all the failed romances and the building of the Ponderosa into a large enterprise. She knew about his trip to China to help Hop Sing marry his arranged bride. Adam had told her of his doomed marriage to Alamea. Finally today when he had been able to get rid of the crutch and switch to a cane, he had been in such a better mood, that Rose had suggested a day out touring the Ponderosa to alleviate all the boredom of being confined to the house and yard when he had been limited by being on crutches. Adam had managed to get into the wagon with his injured leg. He had handed the cane up to Rose, and then put his right foot on the step and pulled himself up and used his arms to turn and plop on the seat. It wasn't graceful, but Hoss had said he didn't think he could do it.

It had been five weeks earlier that three rustlers had attacked Adam and tied him by one leg to be dragged by his horse. He was lucky in many ways to be alive. His left leg had been broken in three places. He still couldn't put his full weight on it and leaned heavily on the cane as he walked. He probably should still be using the crutches, and Rose was going to suggest that he should use them outside to give his leg a respite from the pressure. But the good news for Rose was that Adam was in a talking mood and willing to answer her questions. She had learned of Inger and of Marie and of their tragic deaths. Adam told her that the stories were a combination of what he remembered and stories that his father had told him. She had laughed uproariously at some of the stories but none more so than the ill-fated spring picnic and Adam swearing he had not been 'shrinking'.

For most of the day, Adam had been very pleased that Rose did not judge him when he told her things about him and about his father. He hadn't meant to tell her so much, but she asked the right questions every time it seemed to get him to elaborate more on his stories. Now though she wanted to delve into his feelings about the loss of Inger and Marie, and Adam never had come to terms with those losses and didn't like talking about them in the way this conversation had turned. Rose noticed and backed off not pressing Adam any more. She had felt his body tense up with her last questions, and knew that she had learned as much as she was going to learn on this day. In fact she could have written a small book with the stories he had told her so it had been quite a good day. Adam knew her life history, but she had found that her story of her mother kidnapped by Comanches and impregnated, being returned but never accepting what had happened to her, and then her suicide was a tragic but much simpler story to tell than Adam's. His whole family had a complicated history that she was just beginning to thoroughly understand.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. It has been so fascinating to learn your family history though. I can see now why you three brothers are so different. You were all raised in the same family, but the circumstances of your childhoods were entirely unique. None of you experienced the same things at an early age."

"So did you pick the right brother for you?"

"Oh, yes. I found you arrogant, and snide, and irritating as hell, and all I wanted to do was this." Rose unbuttoned the top two buttons of Adam's shirt and slipped her hand inside to caress his chest. "I saw that chest hair and I wanted to touch it."

"Is that all you wanted to do?" Adam pushed Rose to the grass as he rolled up on his right side. He leaned down to kiss her, and she saw the grimace.

"Well I am hoping of course that the grimace had nothing to do with your kissing me. Why don't you lie back, and I'll come to you?"

Rolling onto his back in defeat, Adam let Rose lean across his chest and kiss him. "It just isn't the same, is it?" Rose stood up and grabbed Adam's cane and handed it to him. "Come with me." She walked with him to the wagon, and helped him sit up against one of the wheels. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to him wrapping his arms around her and embracing her. She had her arm around his waist again as she lay against his leg and her other arm wrapped around his neck. Adam leaned down and pulled her tightly into him as he kissed her deeply. When they stopped to catch their breath eventually, Rose grinned up at him. "Yes, that's more like it!"

"It's always good to get an endorsement of my kissing."

"Oh, yes. Well there better not be anyone else doing any endorsing or kissing."

"Are you jealous?"

"Of course, you big goof. I didn't come back here and spend five weeks with you so you could go kissing somebody else."

With his voice hoarse with emotion, Adam pulled Rose close to him and whispered to her. "It has been a glorious five weeks too. I'm sorry if I get ornery sometimes, but it's just so hard to sit around and do nothing productive. I feel useless. If it wasn't for you, I would have made everyone's life miserable. I know I'm like that. I just can't seem to help myself."

"Well I'll let you in on a little secret then. You still made people miserable. They're probably having a party today because I got you away from there, and they can all relax."

"Was I really that bad?"

"No, of course not. Not with me around. I was teasing you, you big goof. Can't you tell when I'm teasing?"

"Ah, actually no, sometimes I can't. You have the best poker face other than mine that I have ever seen. We should play poker sometime with Joe and Hoss. You'll drive Joe crazy. Make up a few fake tells. It gets him every time. Oh, do you know how to play poker?"

"A little. I always forget what beats what."

"Well when I was very young and playing with the hands when Pa wasn't around, that actually helped me bluff a few times. I didn't know how good a hand I had, so I just played like it was four of a kind. By the time I learned the order, I was quite good at bluffing."

"I bet you could bluff anytime you wanted to. You have this mask like look sometimes where I can't tell if you're mad, confused, upset, or amused."

"I think I learned how to do that a long time ago. Now, I think we should head home. Keilani will be wondering where we are. He likes to play with Hoss but eventually will wonder why we're not around. Besides it may take me a while to get back up in this wagon."

"Can I drive again?"

"Yes, of course, sweetheart. I found I liked having my hands free while we were riding here."

"You almost made me run off the road!"

"Nah, I waited until you were on a straight stretch of road."

"Well, don't do it again, or you may have a broken arm to go with that broken leg." Her harsh words were belied by a huge grin.

"I bet you always wanted to say that to someone."

"Oh, I got a better one. You better remove that arm from my shoulder before I remove it from yours."

"Where did you learn those things?"

"We had a female cook on the ranch. The guys were always teasing her so she threatened them with bodily injury."

"Was she attractive?"

"If you think three hundred pounds, six feet tall, crooked beak nose, and muscular is attractive, well, yeah. She did have a fun laugh though and had a heart of pure gold. Everybody loved her and nobody loved her. It was sad really. She was kinda lonely I think. She died of a heart attack a few years ago."

"You liked her a lot, didn't you?"

"She was like a member of the family. The same way you think of Hop Sing. You would be very sad if anything happened to him, wouldn't you? By the way, how's the marriage going for him?"

"Very well from what he had told me. I had my doubts that she would accept a house servant, but she has a room in the house with us, eats well, and has no fear that anyone will harm her while she is on the Ponderosa. She likes Hop Sing, and he is very happy to have someone to share his days and nights I think."

"Speaking of sharing days at least, is your father still expecting you to go to Salt Lake City to negotiate those contracts? And if he is, can I go with you?"

"I thought you might want to stay here and plan the wedding."

"What wedding?"

"Our wedding."

"We're getting married?"

"We are if you'll say yes. Rose, will you marry me even if I may never walk normally and may never be able to ride a horse again?"

Rose looked at him to see if he was serious. There was no mask. The yearning was very apparent. She couldn't speak so she grabbed Adam's face and kissed him to let him know that he was all she desired no matter what. When she pulled away a minute later, Adam grinned at her.

"I take it that was a yes? I would like to hear it though."

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes."

Reaching into his pocket, Adam pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it and pulled out a diamond and emerald ring. Slipping it on Rose's finger, he pulled her to him and kissed her softly. "I will be the best husband I know how to be. Now would you like to ride with me to Salt Lake City as my fiancée?"

"I would love to do that. I can be your assistant. Will they let me sit in on the meetings?"

"They will if I say you're my assistant." Laughing, Adam stood and used his cane to straighten up. "With this leg, they'll believe I need an assistant too. I'll tell Pa we need two tickets and two rooms in each town we stay in."

"We could stay together in one room if you could control yourself."

"Lady, there is no possible way I could sleep next to you and control myself. I can barely control myself now. We need to schedule this wedding soon."

Rose knew exactly what he meant and smiled as she nodded her assent. Meanwhile she couldn't wait to tell her sister Ivy. How funny life works sometimes. Just a few months ago, she and her sister had wondered if they would ever find men they wanted to marry. Now Ivy was already married to Hoss, and soon she would be married to Adam. So instead of marriage taking her sister away from her, it had brought them closer together in a way. They would spend the rest of their lives together, and she couldn't have been happier. Then she had a question.

"How did you get that ring if you were stuck on the ranch for five weeks?"

"Ivy got it for me. She used one of your old rings from your jewelry box for the size and I told her what I wanted. She ordered it and then brought it to me this week."

"What if I said no?"

"I was almost sure you would say yes. If you said no, I would have just given you the ring as a gift. It was made for you and only you."

"I would never have said no. You were in my thoughts and in my dreams from the day I met you I think even if I couldn't say anything to anyone about it. I didn't even tell Ivy."

"I think she knew. She told me that she knew I had caught your eye right from the start. Hoss told me the two of them were betting on how long it would take me to kiss you. He lost the bet. Ivy won. She must know you better than Hoss knows me. You did kiss me first, before I kissed you."

"Well I had to do something to get you to make up your mind."

"I'm glad you did." By then Adam had maneuvered himself into the wagon again and Rose had checked the wagon and harness to be sure everything was ready. She climbed in and gave Adam a stern look. "I'll behave myself, really, I will."

"Well, you don't have to be a perfect gentleman. Just remember that I'm driving."

Adam rested his hand on her hip as he slid close to her. "Is this all right." Adam kept his left leg stretched out and resting as he had on the ride to the lake, but that put his upper body up against Rose.

"Well it is a bit distracting, but I could get used to it." She laughed then, and the two of them talked about their future as she drove back to the ranch house.

As expected, there was a big celebration at the house that evening. Hop Sing had been warned by Adam so that he could have a big dinner ready, and champagne cooling on ice. Ivy already knew what Adam had planned because he had needed her help to get the ring. Hoss and Joe were surprised that this was the day but not that he asked her. Ben was as proud as could be and made several toasts to the betrothed couple.

"Pa, you better hold off on those."

"Why, you wouldn't think of changing your mind, would you. You have the most wonderful woman for you."

"No, but we plan to marry as soon as it can all be arranged, and you're going to need a toast at the wedding."

"Don't you worry, son, don't you worry. I got plenty more where those came from. I've been waiting a long time, a very long time, for you to finally marry someone so I have a good stock of these ready to go. I've been rehearsing for years."

Noticing a slight frown pass across Adam's features, Ben realized he shouldn't have said quite so much about that. Luckily Hop Sing came in with the champagne at that point, and all else was forgotten. After all the dinner and all the celebrating had come to a close, Adam asked Rose to go out on the porch with him. He sat in a chair and sighed deeply.

"Tired? Because if you're too tired, I could go inside and let you rest."

Noticing her impish grin, Adam reached for Rose's hand and pulled her to him until she sat rather ungracefully on his lap. Once she adjusted until she was in her favorite position with her arms around his neck. "You're not getting away that easily. I have my own way of celebrating our betrothal." After brushing his lips across hers gently, Adam eased her lips open with his tongue and kissed her deeply to which she responded passionately. A little too passionately perhaps for Adam was getting uncomfortable. "Maybe we ought to get married before we take that trip to Salt Lake City. It could be our honeymoon, or at least part one of our honeymoon."

"Adam, you're supposed to leave in just over a week."

"Yes, and would that be a problem for you?"

"Yes and no. Do you want a fancy church wedding, or can we get married here?"

"I would like to get married here."

"All right then."

"All right, what?"

"We'll get married here next Saturday, and travel together to Salt Lake City."

That led to another round of kissing until Adam called a halt. It was going to be difficult enough to sleep on this night. "Let's go inside and tell everyone. We've been talking too softly or they would have heard by now. I didn't hear any cheers or whooping so Joe and Hoss can't hear anything standing by that window there."

"I'm surprised Ivy didn't hear. She's can hear a pin drop on carpeting from ten yards away."

"A good thing for me to know. I think we'll want our wedding night someplace more private than the house here."

That made Rose blush. She had never been with a man, and now all she would worry about all week was what was going to happen on her wedding night. Of course Ivy who had been married for about six weeks could not help explain all of that to her. Then a frown passed over her face, and Adam was concerned.

"What's wrong? I can see you're worried about something. If it's the wedding night I mentioned, just know I would never hurt you. We'll take it slow. I've waited a long time for the right woman to take to my bed, and I won't do anything to mar that."

"Well, that is good to know although I trusted you on that already. No, I was wondering what to do about Charles. If we send a wire tomorrow, he could be here. But I don't know if I should be so presumptuous."

"Rose, he loves you even if he's a horse's ass about some things. He should be invited even if you don't see him as your father any more. He has a right to be invited and to be here if he wishes."

"I suppose you're right. Can we send a wire first thing tomorrow?"

Inside Ben was a little surprised they wanted to marry so soon but the others weren't surprised except that it was Adam who was in a hurry. Usually he wanted things all organized and planned out. His brothers could see how important this was to him, and Hoss especially understood for those weeks waiting for his wedding had seemed to take forever. Ben agreed that they could do it as long as the minister had no objections. Adam and Rose planned to go to town early the next morning to check with the minister and then send a telegram before Rose went to the dress shop to find a dress for the wedding. Adam asked if he could sit in on the fittings, and Ben told him to stop teasing his bride.

"Who said I was teasing."

That got a round of laughs especially from Hoss and Joe who couldn't stop laughing it seemed. Finally things seemed to be getting back to normal, except the big question was still whether Adam's leg would ever heal enough for him to ride. It was hard to imagine a world in which Adam did not get up on a horse and race off into the Ponderosa on some task or another, but for now, he was relegated to riding on the buckboard. Even the carriage made it difficult because he couldn't stretch out his leg as he wanted.

As Adam walked up the stairs with Rose, she wrapped an arm around his waist and thought about how in a weeks time, she would know him intimately and he would know her. It made her shiver a little which Adam felt. As they got to her room, he stopped and pulled her into an embrace. He knew no one in the family would interrupt them. They would know that the two of them would say goodnight with a kiss once they were out of sight of the family.

"I felt you shudder back there. What's scaring you so much?"

"Adam, I've talked smartly with you and acted all sophisticated and such, but Adam, I've never been with a man, and you were the first one who ever even put your tongue in my mouth. I had no idea people kissed like that. I'm afraid to disappoint you on our wedding night."

"First of all, I knew that already. I knew by your reactions when I kissed you and held you that you were just getting used to the idea of that. I've told you, I won't hurt you, but I have to tell you it's also a little frightening to me too. I don't want to do anything to hurt you ever, so we'll just take it as slowly as you need to go. So don't worry too much. I'm sure Ivy will tell you that Cartwright men have been taught to be considerate of a lady and treat them with all due respect."

Kissing then, Adam and Rose said good night. Less than a week later, they were in Adam's bedroom which had become their bedroom packing for their trip. Rose couldn't stop hugging and kissing her husband whenever they were alone. Her emotions were high energy for the moment. Getting married, having Charles there to see her married, and having the big party the Ponderosa was famous for hosting, she had the best memories she could have imagined and the wedding night had been spectacular as far as she was concerned. Because Adam found it so difficult to travel yet, the family had left the house for a night in town to give the couple some privacy. Hop Sing had left food for a cold breakfast and the family didn't come back until late afternoon on that Sunday.

Although Rose had been so nervous on her wedding night, she had trouble breathing when she and Adam first entered the bedroom. He had been so patient with her, she still smiled at the thought. He had pulled her onto his lap as he sat on the bed and told her that they would do no more than she was ready to do. He did say though that he very much wanted to see her, all of her, on their wedding night and had begun undoing the buttons on the back of her dress. She had unbuttoned his shirt as he did that. The rest flowed along very naturally until she was resting in his arms over an hour later feeling a bit sore but very relaxed. She had told him she understood now why people wanted to have sex so much. It felt so good while you were doing it, and then you felt good all over afterwards. Adam had laughed then and asked if she was ready to feel so good again, and she laughed too until she realized he was serious. Then she kissed him passionately and after their second bout of lovemaking, she had fallen asleep in his arms only to awaken the next morning to kisses and more loving.

"Is every night going to be like last night, because I'm very tired now? I can't imagine doing that every night."

"No, not every night, but when we have the time, yes as often as you wish."

"Or you wish. Seems to me, you started it each time."

"You can start it anytime you want as well. There's no rule that the man has to be the one to initiate it. Either of us can let the other know we want to express our love."

"That's a good way to describe what we did. Seems more appropriate than to refer to loving as 'it'."

Adam smiled and pulled Rose into an embrace. "Or we can kiss and hug whenever there's an opportunity." Then he kissed her, and soon packing was delayed. The next morning, Ben drove the couple to town so that they could catch the stage. Adam had everything he needed to complete the contracts, and Ben wished them well.

"You don't have to hurry back. Just send a wire when you have the contracts, and we'll start getting ready to make the deliveries."

"Thanks, Pa. See you in a couple of weeks then."

Their stage never even made it to Reno. They were accosted by bandits who made Rose and Adam get out of the stage, and made the driver climb down. They were disarmed, and the silver that was on board was taken. The men loaded their booty onto pack animals, and then hit Adam and the driver dropping them to the ground before they made the horses take off at a dead run pulling the stage with them. The outlaws laughed as they rode away. No one would be looking for them for a very long time.

The driver woke up quickly, but Rose cradled Adam's head in her lap as he drifted in and our of consciousness for a time. Then she and the driver cringed when a group of Shoshoni rode up to them. They had witnessed the robbery and were coming by to offer assistance. A woman with the group walked to where Rose cradled Adam. She knelt down by Adam and looked at the wound on his head and signaled for the man with her to bring her bag. She began bathing the injury when Adam awoke with the pain. He looked at her and said only one word that left everyone there in shock.

"Ma?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Looking at the woman whose hair was covered, Rose could see she was white even with the deep tanning of years living outdoors. Adam had lapsed back into unconsciousness again, but Rose's mind was racing and she had to ask.

"Are you Inger?"

With that first shock and then that one, the woman sat back with her hand to her mouth. After all these years, she found it so very difficult to believe what had just happened. The dark haired young man with her knelt by her side and put his hand on her shoulder as he said something to her in a language that Rose did not understand. After she answered, they young man had a strange look too. Adam stirred again and opened his eyes to stare at the woman who had not yet spoken.

Hesitantly and then with more confidence, she spoke. "Adam, my son, you have to be my son. I thought you were dead. I thought all of you were dead."

"We tried to find you, but it was so dangerous and we thought we were searching only for a body. After you were stabbed with that lance, there was so much blood. We thought you were dead. We had to protect Hoss."

"With that last sentence, Inger paled and needed the young man's support. "My baby, my baby is alive?"

Sporting a hint of a smile at that, Adam had an answer she loved to hear. "He's not such a baby any more. Hoss took after Uncle Gunnar except he's taller and wider."

"Bigger than you?"

"In all directions, yes. Hoss just got married about a month and half ago. I got married two days ago. Ma, this is Rose."

The two women clasped hands. The young man at Inger's side didn't move and didn't say anything but listened intently to everything.

"Why did the two of you wait so long to marry?"

"Hoss had to go to Texas to find a lady that was to his liking." Inger noticed the slight frown before Adam continued. "My first wife died, but she gave me a son, Keilani. Ma, there's something else. Pa got married again. We had no idea you could be alive. Ma, Hoss and I have a little brother. He's six years younger than Hoss. His name is Joe."

"So your father is married then?"

"No, no, sadly, Marie died a number of years ago. I was seventeen. She fell from her horse as she rode into the yard and broke her neck. Pa has been alone since then."

"Not so alone. He has three sons there with him."

"Ma, I'm so sorry that you were alone."

Sighing and grasping the hand of the young man at her side, Inger turned back to Adam. "Today I have had many shocks and surprises here, and you have had one, but there is more. Adam, this is Benjamin Kukuk, my son and your brother."

Struggling to sit up then, Adam held a hand to his head as the world was spinning a bit. Both Inger and Rose reached out to help him as he closed his eyes and let the dizziness go.

"I am so sorry, Adam. Perhaps it was too much to say. But he knew who you were as we talked so I thought you should know too."

"How?"

Smiling, Inger chided Adam a bit. "Surely you are not the naïve little boy who wondered where Hoss had come from, are you? You must know by now." Getting serious again, Inger explained. "I was with child when the Pawnee took me in exchange for the woman assaulted and killed by that man who joined our train. That Paiute lance cut my side open and I bled a lot, but they saved my life and my baby survived too. We were still with the Pawnee when he was born. When they saw he was white, they decided to sell us." That statement said a lot about how Inger had been treated by the Pawnee. "The Newe took us in. We lived with them until Bee was growing to be a man. Then we moved to Pocatello. I taught English on the reservation near there, and taught some of the soldiers the Newe language."

"Why did you come here?"

"Bee was working for the Army as a scout, and some people didn't like that. His life was threatened. Washakie is white also and was named for a great chief. He also was a scout and was threatened. We thought to move here where there are more Newe and find a place to call our own. We were told at the fort that we qualify under the Homestead Act and can claim one hundred sixty acres for each of us."

The mix of Indian and white clothing made a lot of sense then. The driver had listened and remained silent as the reunion took place and explanations were shared. But he had a question. "Those jaspers let us out here to die. No help has come so can one of you ride for help?"

"Yes, but the day is drawing to a close. We need to get a campsite set up, food prepared, and shelter made for us. Tomorrow morning if no help comes, Washakie can rider for help. We have food and blankets enough for all. We have much to discuss."

For five weeks, Adam and Rose had talked to each other about their family histories and about their personal lives. Now Adam and Inger had to talk like that and try to exchange as much as possible in a much shorter time. It seemed the two never stopped conversing as they shared the main points each thought the other should know. Finally as everyone neared exhaustion, Adam had one final question to put to Inger.

"Will you come home with us?"

"But what is home? We will talk more, and Bee and I will talk as well."

Addressing his newly discovered brother, Adam asked what they should call him because it was apparent that Bee was a term of endearment used by his mother.

For the first time Adam and Rose heard his voice which was eerily reminiscent of Ben's. "The soldiers called me BK or Bear. Either would be acceptable."

With that settled, the group lay down to sleep for the night protected by a windbreak constructed by BK and Washakie that blocked the wind and held the warmth to the small campfire. Rose lay snuggled up next to Adam who slept on his back which made him snore. Smiling, Inger asked Rose if she could get him to turn on his side. Rose told Inger that Adam's injured left leg made that too difficult. Inger went to get a soft pack, and with Rose's help, they got it behind Adam's head and shoulders to halt the snoring. Inger told Rose she would take a look at his leg in the morning.

Early that next morning, BK fashioned a stick for Adam to use to replace the cane which had been left on the stage. Using it, Adam was able to take care of his business in the morning. When he walked back into the camp, Inger asked to see his leg and that would have required him to remove his pants. Because of what Inger had learned the night before, she insisted even though Adam was quite reluctant to remove his pants until she reminded him that she had seen all of him before.

"But I was a small boy then."

"You are still my boy. Slip those pants off under the blanket and let me see your leg. I may be able to help."

Once Adam complied at Rose's insistence, Inger pulled back the blanket to examine his leg and observed that the knee and ankle were badly swollen even though Adam had done very little. After heating a kettle of water, she soaked cloths in it and then placed them on Adam's ankle and knee. As she worked, she asked Adam how his leg had been so badly injured. He told her how and why. Inger shook her head as he talked because it was another example of the hate people had based on ignorance. After about twenty minutes, Adam was amazed at how much better his leg felt.

"The swelling is the problem now. It leads to more swelling when you do something. Hot cloths should be applied or you should take hot baths before you do anything and then cold when you have done something especially at night. Keep doing that until there is no more swelling. Then you will be able to ride horses again."

Adam looked at Inger in surprise wondering how she had known that.

"You have powerful arms and shoulders. Your legs not so much. White men ride with saddles so they don't use their legs much as they ride a lot. Newe ride bareback mostly so they have to use their legs to control the horse. Farmers and others who work on their legs have stronger legs too."

"You're very observant."

"As you are. Now tell me how your father will react to this news."

Thinking for quite a few minutes about that and what he knew about his father, Adam wasn't sure. "He will be thrilled to know that you are alive. Will he welcome you into his home as his wife? I don't know. So much has happened since then. I know he loved you deeply. He keeps your photograph on his desk."

"With the pictures of his other two wives?"

Adam nodded. "Hoss, I am absolutely certain, will want to see you and keep you in his life. He has asked me literally hundreds of times to tell him everything I remembered about you as a mother. He will love you and BK without reservation. And, yes, Pa will want BK to be part of our family. There is no doubt of that at all. He invited Joe's half brother to live with us even though he was not blood relation to anyone but Joe."

"You hesitated there. What did you not tell me?"

"He invited my cousin Will to stay with us too."

"And why does that cause you pain?"

"Will didn't stay. He left with my fiancée at the time. In the end, it was a good thing for me even though it was painful at the time."

Yes, it is good you did not marry her. She betrayed you. Now tell me more of yourself and Rose."

Rose was amazed and pleased by Adam's answer as well as surprised because he usually kept so much of his personal feelings to himself. She adored his answer. "I love Rose with all my heart. I cannot imagine a life without her in it. Alamea was gone only five months when I first met Rose. I felt that I might be betraying Alamea by being so attracted to Rose so soon. Pa said you can't control when you fall in love, but that everyone should take what life has to offer and rejoice in it. He said it could happen suddenly or develop over time. He courted my mother a long time, but fell in love with you very quickly as you should know."

Washakie had gone for help earlier, and they could see a cloud of dust in the distance indicating that help was probably on the way. They still had some time to talk.

"Rose, what can you tell me about Adam?"

That questions surprised both Rose and Adam. To Inger, there was no one who could better describe her son, his strengths and his weaknesses. Rose loved Adam. That was very clear by her actions. She was also a very intelligent woman. Rose talked until the stage and the posse got there. Adam and Rose had to ride the stage to get to Salt Lake City to finish the contracts there.

"Please, Ma, where will you be when we come back this way?"

"We had planned to camp over that way where those hills are dark with trees. Can you meet us there when you are done with your ranch business?"

"And you'll be there?"

"We will be there until you return."

Hugging Inger and shaking BK's hand, Adam and Rose climbed aboard the stage to head toward Salt Lake City. The posse headed out on the trail of the thieves. Inger, BK, and Washakie headed to the low hills to camp, to hunt, and to wait. They would talk over their options, and by the time Adam and Rose returned there, they had decided to go to the Ponderosa with them.

"This must be resolved, and I must see my son, Hoss. The whole family deserves to see BK and he can decide if he wants to stay. For the rest, we shall see."

Rose stayed on the stagecoach to get home sooner and let them know of the momentous news so that there would be less shock to the family that a sudden appearance by Inger and BK could cause. Both sides would be wary, but they had time to prepare especially as Adam was riding again but lacked the stamina and strength to stay in the saddle for a long day. They proceeded slowly and the three day trip took six days. Finally they crested the last rise before the slope to the Ponderosa ranch house. Adam looked at Inger and reached out a hand to hold hers.

"It's going to be fine. We'll work it all out somehow as a family. We'll all tell the truth until the whole story is known. We'll see where it takes us."

Then the four of them rode to the house.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The reunion was as emotional as the Cartwright men could get. There were tears shed. Ben had been shocked with Rose's announcement when she had arrived home ahead of the group. Over and over Ben said he had seen her die, but Rose tried to explain that although Inger wound had been extremely painful and bloody, she had been alive and the Pawnee had taken her. She also said that Inger had been with child when she was taken and Ben's son had been born healthy. Ben was so shocked by the revelations that he had felt dizzy and sick to his stomach. Rose had hoped that Hoss would be a pillar of strength but he was so overcome with emotion he could hardly stand much less help his father. It was Ivy and Hop Sing who helped the most. Neither had known Inger and were happy that members of the family would be reunited.

"I always tried to picture my Ma in my mind using the stories that Adam told me, but the only image I ever saw was that black and white photograph Pa has on his desk. I never could picture her with blond hair and standing tall and strong. Now I'll get to see her, and it's like a hole in my life is being filled."

"Hoss, that is just so interesting. That is a lot like what Adam said. After we left them and headed to Salt Lake City to do those contracts, he said it was like a hole in his heart had been repaired. He felt more complete knowing Inger was alive. She is an amazing woman. She's strong and capable. She's a take-charge kind of woman. She and Adam talked and talked for hours. You could see what a strong connection they have. He was hit over the head, dizzy, and half dazed, but when he looked at her the first time, he said 'Ma' clear as could be."

"So she rescued you and waited for you to come back?"

"Yes, Adam is with them now. She even knew how to help his leg. He's riding back with them, but probably very slowly after this long without riding a horse. He's got to be saddle sore, but he wanted to be with her and BK."

"Why do they call him BK?"

"His name is Benjamin Kukuk, so the soldiers called him BK or Bear."

"Why bear?"

"It's what Kukuk means. He's a big man but he looks more like Adam or your father than you. He took after Ben more than Inger although he does have blue eyes, they are blue with brown so they look a lot like Adam's eyes."

"What's he like?"

"Ah, picture Adam but relaxed and not so intense. He's as calm as Adam appears to be. He takes things very carefully, and speaks very little, but makes his point as clear as it could be. His voice sounds a lot like your father's, very deep and authoritarian. He's a gentle kind of man, but I wouldn't cross him at all. He looks like he could handle just about anyone."

Sitting and listening to Hoss and Rose talk, Ben gradually came back to the conversation. It had been a huge shock to learn that Inger was alive, but that he had another son whom he had never even known about and never seen was devastating. Ivy sat by his side holding his hand and insisting he drink some of the tea Hop Sing had provided. Hop Sing stood by and watched very pleased to see Ivy taking such good care of his old friend.

Almost as soon as the conversation had started with Rose saying that Adam was fine but that she had some amazing news, Joe had left. The first revelations that Inger was alive and had a son were about all he cared to hear it seemed. He left to go do chores but of course he wanted to escape the conversation more than anything. This had shaken his world almost as much as his father was affected. Rose wanted to go talk to Joe to find out his concerns but Hoss and Ben were here priority at first. She kept thinking about Joe and gradually came to realize what she thought must be his concerns, but then knew Hoss and Adam would have to be the ones to talk to him. This was going to be a very emotional time for all concerned, and for the most emotional one, Joe, it was going to be very difficult as well.

Fir the next several days, most of the talk was about Inger and BK until Rose exhausted what she knew. Then there were repeats of much of what she had already said for it seemed Hoss especially was starved for such information. Rose could easily understand Adam's statement that Hoss had asked him hundreds of times about his mother. Ben asked less but listened to everything as he thought about all that he had learned. There was guilt too of course for having left Inger behind and not knowing she was alive, and certainly for being ignorant of her being with child.

So when the family heard the arrival in the yard, they knew who it had to be and rushed outside. Ben was frozen in place when he saw Inger. She was of course much older but her natural beauty still shone. Next to her was a young man who was clearly his son. His resemblance to Adam in particular was noticeable and it was clear that the two men had the same father. Rose went to Adam and offered her shoulder to lean on because it was clear he was exhausted. With BK's help, they got him settled in a chair on the porch and Rose handed Keilani to him who was in tears to finally see his father. He had enjoyed his time playing with Lincoln, and being entertained by Hoss and Mabel, but it was his father that he needed most. He wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and snuggled into his shoulder.

"Inger, my love, is it really you? I see you, and I can't believe my eyes. Rose told me and I couldn't believe my ears. But here you are." Ben walked to Inger then and offered her his arms. She stepped into his embrace and the two hugged for a long time just so relieved that the other was truly alive after having believed for twenty-eight years that the opposite was true.

"Benjamin, we have another son. This is Benjamin Kukuk Cartwright."

Stepping to BK's side, Ben reached out to touch his son's face, and then offered his arms. BK stepped in to hug his father, but the hug was light, and he stepped back as soon as he could. BK didn't know enough about these people yet to offer his heart even though he liked Adam and thought he would like having him as a brother.

Next Hoss stepped up. He had been speechless when he saw his mother. Now he stood before her and tears ran down his cheeks.

"Do I measure up to the stories Adam has told you?"

Without saying a word, Hoss wrapped his mother in a hug and didn't let go. She began sobbing into his chest for seeing that her bright eyed baby had grown into this man was almost too much to believe, but the eyes made it true for no one else had ever had eyes like Hoss.

"Mama, why are you crying? I love you Mama, and I always will."

BK stepped up to Hoss then for he knew at that moment that he would love this brother too. Anyone who could love his mother like that without reservation deserved his love as well. He could see that Hoss didn't want to let go of their mother, and understanding that entirely, he wrapped one arm around Hoss and another around his mother. The three stood like that for a long time whispering their love for each other.

Once again Joe walked away. This time he went to put the horses in the stable. With four of them, it would take some time and that's what he needed. He could have used a shoulder to cry on but none were available at that moment. He talked to Cochise though as he worked.

"What of my mother now? Is she going to be forgotten? And if Pa was married to Inger when he married my mother, then they weren't really married, and I'm a bastard child. Oh, Cooch, I know you don't have any answers for me, but it's just good to have someone who will listen to me."

"I'll listen."

Standing at the door of the stable, Adam leaned against the door. He was exhausted but had seen how upset Joe was. He sent Rose inside to put Keilani down for a nap so he could talk with Joe. He had suspected he knew what some of the problem was and what he had heard confirmed most of what he had been thinking.

"We won't forget Marie, Joe. She was too big a part of our lives for us to forget her just like I never forgot Inger was my Ma for a time. I loved them both, Joe."

"You never really loved my mother. You just put up with her. I've heard some of what Pa has said about that."

"Joe, that was when she first arrived. I wasn't ready to have someone else in the family, and I was that age when I thought I knew everything."

"Just when do you think you'll grow out of that?" Joe was able to flash a smile at least.

"Very funny. No, your mother saved my bacon a number of times. Pa tended to be rather tough on me. Sometimes he seemed to think I was a lot older than I was, and I tried to live up to that, but failed to manage it at times."

"Like what?"

"You know Suzy, the saloon gal?" At Joe's nod and a smile, Adam continued. "Well, when we were a lot younger, she got me all hot and bothered and then proceeded to take care to that. Well her father caught us, and Pa and Marie were very embarrassed. Suzy's father told Pa I needed to be whipped." With his hand on the very pole where Ben had threatened to do it, Adam explained the rest of the story. "So you see, Joe, every time I see my back without any scars across it, I have to remember Marie and how she saved me from that, and Pa too. You have to know how badly he would have felt if he had done it. But Pa didn't always have control of what he did when he was mad especially when he was younger. He likes to say you got your temper from Mama, but you got it just as much from him."

"I never knew that story. But Adam, if Pa was still married to Inger when he married my mother, then the marriage wasn't legitimate, and I'm a bastard."

"Joe! Don't you ever say that. Never say that. They loved each other and married in good faith. We'll see a lawyer to see how we can get all the legal stuff worked out, but you were never that, so don't you dare say it. It will hurt Pa and Hoss just to hear you say that."

"All right, but you have to know that's what I'm thinking."

"Fair enough, but trust me on this please. We'll work everything out. We're a family."

"All right, I'll try to believe that. But you gotta know this is really tough, and no one seems to care how I feel about any of this."

"So I'm nobody?"

"You know what I mean. Everyone's happy about all of this. Now I got a stepmother I never knew, and another older brother, Hoss' full brother."

"Joe, we are all brothers. Now let's have none of that talk about half and full. We're family, and we'll work things out just like we always do. You have to understand how this makes Hoss and Pa feel too. Think about how you would feel if there was some way Marie could come back into our lives. Think about how we all tried to accept Clay and bring him into the family."

"I guess I never really thought about all of you would feel about that. I was just so happy to have another part of my family, part of my mother here." Looking a bit sheepishly at Adam then, Joe had a crooked little grin. "Hey, maybe you do still know everything."

"No, not at all, but I do know you and the rest of my family. Now if you don't mind, I'm really tired and would like to go inside to see if I can't get a little rest while the others are getting to know one another. You could sit by and listen. You might learn something."

"Adam, I never was a good student."

"No, but your eavesdropping skills are second to none. Think of it that way."

Joe chucked Adam in the shoulder, and the two brothers laughed. By the time they got back to the yard, everyone had apparently gone into the house. They went to join them. Rose was still upstairs with Keilani so Adam went up to help her get their little boy to take his nap.

"He's missed us, and especially you. He cried for you when I came home without you. Why don't you sing to him a little to get him to fall asleep."

Once Adam had Keilani in his arms, it didn't take long for the little boy's eyes to close and he snuggled against Adam's chest. Very carefully, Adam peeled his son from him and laid him in his bed. Then he took off his shirt and placed it over him instead of a blanket. It was still warm and of course smelled like Adam so Keilani could be soothed more as he slept. Then he laid a light blanket over that.

"That was very clever."

"We did that with Hoss when he was a baby. We used some things that Inger had used and put them with him when he slept. It soothed him. We learned that from women on the wagon train."

With Adam standing there with his shirt off, Rose had other ideas rather than soothing anyone to sleep. She ran her fingers through the hair on his chest as she liked to do whenever she got the chance. Without a word, Adam wrapped an arm around her and guided her to their room.

"Now perhaps you could help me get out of the rest of my clothes so I can get some rest."

"Cowboy, if I help you do that, you won't be getting any rest."

"Sweetheart, I was kind of counting on that. I'm sorry it hasn't been much of a honeymoon, but we can start making that better too." Pulling Rose into his embrace, Adam kissed her deeply and passionately which she returned. They had been apart for six days and had some time to make up. Both were so relaxed an hour later that they fell asleep in each other's arms and didn't wake until they heard their son calling for them. Then Adam dressed quickly and got Keilani while Rose finished dressing. When the three of them walked down the stairs together, there were a few knowing smiles in the group.

Now finally noticing how much better Adam was walking than just a week and a half earlier, Ben had to ask. Adam explained how Inger had started him on a natural treatment that seemed to be doing wonders for his leg that still hurt but was improving rapidly. If Adam hadn't pushed so hard on the ride back, he was thinking his leg might be even better. For the first time, he actually did believe that his leg would be almost as good as before.

Shortly after that, they all sat down to dinner. The table was filled to capacity with eight there. Inger sat next to Ben and BK sat on his other side next to Hoss and Ivy. With Adam on the other end holding Keilani and Rose to his side, the only place left for Joe was to sit between Rose and Inger. After grace was said, Inger put her hand on Joe's arm.

"Now we have been neglecting you. Bee and I know very little of you. Could you tell us your story?"

"Nah, you don't need to hear about me."

"You better tell em, Joe, or they're gonna hear it from Adam and me so you might want to get your version in first. Hey, Adam, should we start off with Joe's schemes or his chasing after every girl in Nevada?"

"Hey, bigger brother, it wasn't all the girls."

"Sure seemed like it, little brother."

"No, Hoss, our little brother was more discerning than that. He only chased after the pretty girls or the ones who would be real friendly."

"Adam, the table is no place for talk like that."

"Sorry, Pa. Where is the place for talk like that?"

Ben's look got Hoss laughing first, and then Joe joined in with his infectious giggle. Soon the laughter loosened everyone up much as Hoss and Adam had intended. They had done this little game before, and each of them seemed to know when it was needed without ever discussing it first. The two brothers grinned at each other, and Inger smiled at them. It was clear how much these brothers loved each other. She hoped BK could be accepted into the close-knit group. Soon Joe was telling tales of his derring-do as Hoss and Adam told slightly different accounts to which Joe objected of course but all in good humor. As they talked and Joe's mood improved immensely, Ben realized what they were doing. Inger and his oldest two sons were pulling Joe into the family reunion so that he felt he was part of it.

After dinner, BK and Hoss sat by the fire talking with Joe on one side and Adam on the other. Adam asked what had happened to Washakie. Hoss explained that he had gone to town with Candy and some of the hands. They were going to get him outfitted as a real cowboy and he had agreed to try working on the Ponderosa. Washakie did not remember any of his life before he was taken so had no idea what his name was although he said every time he heard David he turned to the speaker. So he was thinking that might have been his name or his father's perhaps, and when Candy suggested he might want to use that name, he agreed. On the ranch payroll, he would be Dave Washakie. He also said he thought he would like to get his hair cut, and Candy said he would help him with that. Hoss had given Candy authorization to put everything Dave needed on the Ponderosa account, and said the four of them could have dinner at ranch expense too.

Hoss brought up the next topic. He wondered if they could call BK something other than that for he thought it sounded so impersonal. They decided that Ben would confuse people and that Benji or Bennie sounded too much like a kid. Finally they asked what his middle name was if he had one. He said his mother said his middle name was Jacob. Adam asked if he would like Jake or Jacob, and he smiled and said that would be nice. It would put his captivity behind him. That settled it for everyone as Adam pronounced him Benjamin Jacob Cartwright or Jake.

At the dining table, Ivy and Rose got caught up with what had happened in each other's absence. They were working on sewing a dress to fit Inger. None of the dresses they owned would fit her as she was taller and broader than either of them. So they were using one of their dresses for a pattern, and using some cloth they had intended to use for shirts for their husbands and were crafting a dress of white and blue. It had a blue skirt and a blue apron, with a white blouse top. If they worked feverishly enough, they thought they might have it ready by the next day.

While the brothers talked and the sisters worked, Ben asked Inger to walk outside with him. Everyone noticed and no one said anything. It would be up to the two of them to decide how to proceed from this point on.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"It seems our sons will find the reunion easier to work out than you and I will."

"Yes, it is different being brothers than being husband and wife but not husband and wife. You are my Benjamin and yet you are a stranger too."

"So what do we do now?"

"I think we need to take some time to get to know one another again before we decide what we will do. Adam has said he thought one thing was to speak with a lawyer to try to sort all of this out."

"Yes, but I would like some time as a family before all of this is all over town. People will be asking all sorts of questions, and we won't have answers. I know I want you to stay here. I don't want you to be anywhere else."

"That would be nice. The girls are making a dress for me so that when we do go to town so when people see me they will not see an Indian woman, but see me as I am."

"Our foreman Candy will see to that for Dave. It seems strange to call him that, but apparently he was quite happy to use that and his other name as a last name. He will always have some of both cultures, but I'm glad that he is looking to find his place in this one. He's a fine horseman according to Adam so I'm sure he will quickly learn what he needs to do here. Once he had a few paychecks, he can decide if he wants to stay or leave, but at least it will finally be his free choice."

"He may wish to find his family, and I would like to help him, but from what I know, he was traded several times. We may never know his origin."

"He has a place here then."

"Thank you. Thank you for welcoming our son and me into your home as well."

"Did you think it would be anything but that? This is your home too regardless of how things work out."

"A lot can change in twenty-eight years. You have married and lost another wife, gained another son, and built this huge ranch. Oh, Benjamin, that dream seemed so big when we talked of it, but you have done it."

"With Adam at my side for a long time. He had to grow up so fast after that Indian attack. He has suffered so many tragedies in his life. I worry about him more than the other two. He had a shell around his heart for so long. Rose broke through or I fear he may have been lost. She is a very feisty woman, as stubborn and fiery as he can be, and I think there may be some terrible arguing between the two at some point, but each has found someone who could reach through all the pain and bring healing."

"Yes, I got some of that just in the short time we were together. They have great passion, the two of them. They love each other so much I do not fear that there will be anything that will come between them for long."

"Has he told you though that he did go to college?"

"Yes, we talked a lot. He seems quite proud of what you accomplished together. He also is rightfully proud of helping Hop Sing, and in forming his own shipping company. It is doing quite well apparently."

Noticing the frown that Ben had at that statement, Inger put her hand on Ben's arm. "You should not fear him leaving because he has done these things. Doing these things has made it more likely he will stay. I know he talks of distant lands and wondrous things, but he came back, didn't he? He dreams big dreams too. You should be the one who understands that best."

"I do understand, and I also have a better understanding of how my family felt when I left. When I was that age, I was so sure of what I wanted to do and never saw how much leaving hurt those I loved."

"But the Ponderosa is still part of Adam's dreams so he will be here as long as you give him room to roam too."

"You should see him in the winter months. Hoss says he's either a bear who can't get to sleep or a hungry cougar eyeing up prey. Spring is more joyous around here because of it though. We're all happy to get him out of the house, and he's thrilled to be free of the confinement. He'll head up to the line cabins to make sure they're ready to use and are fully supplied. He'll be all alone for weeks and come home as contented as can be."

"He was always like that. He would hug me so fiercely and then run off to do whatever was next on his agenda."

"Hoss is just the opposite. He loves being here and nothing better than to be snuggled up with his family. That's why he would get so angry sometimes with Adam in the winter. Hoss enjoys the quiet company of those he loves."

"Hoss was just like that as a baby. He was only completely relaxed and smiling when one of us was holding him. Bee is a little like both then. He enjoys action as well as solitude. He roams but always stays close to home if that makes sense to you. He doesn't like being cooped up anywhere. He spends a lot of time thinking but not too much time talking. He would fight to the death for me, and now I think he will have that same loyalty to the rest of his family."

"Have you always called him Bee?"

After just a moment, Inger composed herself and answered. "Yes, I couldn't bear to say Ben. I thought you were dead. So even though I wanted our son to carry on his father's name, I couldn't use that name all the time. It would have been too painful."

"I don't want to pry, and you don't have to answer, but did you have a husband with the Shoshoni?"

"No, I already had brought a future warrior into their tribe so they did not insist. They were enough women for the men until the smallpox hit five years ago. Many of the men were away hunting so they were not infected, but the women and children suffered terrible losses. By then I was not with them any longer. Ben you have to know though that the Pawnee were not so kind. They were angry after one of their women had been assaulted and killed. They wanted revenge, and I was there."

Wrapping an arm around Inger, Ben tried to soothe her, but then it seemed that the grief of twenty-eight years came rushing out. He wrapped his other arm around her and held her close as her body shook with her sobs. She had been so strong for so long because she had to be, and for the first time since she was taken, she could feel safe and protected without the need to hold all her emotions in check. Ben found tears flowing as well, and he kissed the top of Inger's head a number of times. As the tears gradually diminished and the heart wrenching shuddering stopped, Ben pulled Inger to sit on the bench that was near them. She leaned into his side as he crooned softly to her to soothe her. When she finally was able to sit up and look at him, her eyes were red and puffy, but Ben felt he had never seen her more beautiful. She was vulnerable and sweet under that strong exterior. She had not lost any of the qualities which had made him fall in love with her so many years before.

"Would it be possible for that lawyer to come here to speak with us and give us advice?"

"I'm sure that would be fine. We pay him enough that he should do that. I'll have one of the boys go to town to make that arrangement tomorrow."

"This has all been very unsettling to your Joseph. He fears for his place in the family?"

"No, I think he fears for his mother's place in the family. He's most worried that if you and I were still married, then my marriage to his mother was not legitimate."

"And then he would not be legitimate. That is a hard thing for him to have to consider, but maybe this lawyer can come up with something to make that not be so."

"Yes, I'm sure he can. Now I have one question for you. There is no man in your family to ask so I must ask you. Inger Cartwright, may I court you? May I take you on picnics, and to town for dinner, and out riding so that we can get to know one another again?"

"Oh, Ben, thank you, yes!"

And for the first time in twenty-eight years, Ben and Inger kissed and held each other like lovers do. Inger relaxed into his embrace knowing he would give her time, and that the two of them could nurture their long lost love. As the hour grew late and both were emotionally exhausted, they walked inside to find their four tired sons waiting up for them worried about how long they had been outside. When Ben made the announcement that he was courting Inger, there were four relieved smiles that there would be no hurried resolution to their situation, and that everyone could take time to get used to the changes in their lives.

By late the next afternoon, the family was again gathered in the great room, but this time they were talking with their lawyer. He had some ideas about how to handle everything, and agreed with Joe's position that there had to be a way to ensure that Marie's marriage to Ben was legitimate. Hiram was thinking that he could do that. With Inger gone for so long, he could use the concept of desertion as grounds to say the marriage no longer existed even though it had been legitimate. Then Marie's marriage to Ben was also legitimate. When he learned that Ben had asked to court Inger, he smiled. That having taken place before they consulted with him meant that they had accepted that they were no longer married. Hence, they could remarry which in the eyes of the law would show evidence of good faith that believing the other to be deceased, each had assumed the marriage no longer existed.

"But we were still married when Benjamin Jacob was born?"

"Yes, less than a year of separation even though each thought the other deceased is not enough to invalidate the marriage. The five years that elapsed between the apparent death of Inger Cartwright and the marriage to Marie Cartwright more than satisfies the requirements of the law. Now if you court Inger, and then the two of you remarry, all legal issues should be satisfactorily resolved."

"Should be?" Ben was concerned that someone could challenge their arrangement.

"The only persons who could bring it into question are the heirs. Any one of these four young men here could dispute this, and it would be a difficult situation for a judge to decide for there is no precedent that I know of that he could use. It would all depend then on how the judge would read the law."

Adam spoke before any of this brothers could. "Hiram, how could we ensure that could never happen?"

"If all were made equal heirs, or if all would sign an agreement not to dispute the arrangement, then there would be no problem."

Joe was the first to agree but Hoss and Jake nodded as well. None of them would ever think to do something like that, but each thought it would be good to get it settled once and for all time. Ben could settle it even faster, but he was pleased to see all four sons in agreement already.

"Hiram, draw up a new will making all four sons equal heirs. That should do it, right?"

"We can draw up a temporary agreement right now, and I can have the formal will drawn up within a few days. Then if you come in to sign with two witnesses who are not in the will and unrelated to you, we can file that will and discard the old one. Do you still want Adam as executor?"

"They're all old enough now so put all four in as executors but Adam will have the deciding vote in any dispute. With four, there could be a logjam if it's two and two in any voting."

With all the legal issues resolved to everyone's satisfaction and Joe's great relief, it seemed that life was settling down for the family. Jake took the upstairs guest room as his own putting Keilani in his parents' room for the time being. Inger got the guest room downstairs.

The next morning, Adam went riding with Jake to show him more of the Ponderosa and get him familiar with its operation. Adam introduced him to the hands and explained their situation briefly before they left. As they moved from branding stations to horse breaking corrals and to pastures, the basic operation of the ranch was thoroughly explained. Jake was comfortable with Adam and not just because he was the first brother he met. He appreciated Adam's spare use of language to say only what needed to be said, and that as they rode, Adam never felt a need to fill silence with words, and Adam appreciated that same trait in Jake.

Meanwhile, Hoss and Joe were riding together that day, and there were plenty of words. Hoss knew that Joe was still uneasy and worked on him to get the full story of what was bothering him. It needed to be out in the open so they could deal with it. Hoss was sure that Joe wouldn't say anything to their father at all, and because of the close friendship that seemed to be developing between Adam and Jake, he probably wouldn't voice his concerns to Adam either.

"So, let me see if I have this straight. You're worried that you're brother number four now and have another older brother. You're also thinking that I'll like Jake better than you cause you said 'three's a crowd' just a minute ago. Now first of all, three's a crowd is only a problem if you're with a gal and somebody else is there. You and me and Adam was three brothers for a long time now. No reason to think three or even four of us can get along. You might even like having another brother around when Adam gets on his high horse."

Joe had to chuckle at that. He could just picture his oldest brother in a dispute with all three lined up against him. "That's true."

"Now as to having another older brother, Joe, it ain't like we're kids any more. He's a man. You're a man. Treat him like one, and he'll treat you like one. Heck he's been an only child. He don't know what it's like to have brothers either. This has to be just as hard for him and maybe harder."

"Why would it be harder?"

"Just think about being dropped into some business like the Ponderosa as a man, a full fledged brother responsible for getting everything done around here and having no idea how it's all done. Now Adam is gonna show him around for a few days, but that ain't gonna be enough. He's gonna need some help from the rest of us for quite a spell I'm reckoning."

"I wasn't thinking of it that way. I was thinking he might try bossing me around, but he can't cause he doesn't know even a little bit of what I know about running the place."

"That's right. He ain't even been to town yet neither, so who's gonna show him that now?"

"Oh, boy, that could be a lot of fun. I oughta get him to buy some new clothes and stuff too. Maybe we could get him a saddle too, cause it's hard to do roping and stuff without one."

"Now you're talking, Joe. We surely don't want Adam taking him shopping for clothes."

"Yeah, he'd come home wearing all black and we wouldn't be able to tell the two of them apart. Now that could make it pretty tough for Rose."

Hoss started guffawing then and Joe laughed so hard he almost fell off his horse. The rest of the day passed pleasantly enough except for cleaning out a beaver dam that had slowed the flow of a creek across one of their pastures. When they rode back into the yard that afternoon all muddy and wet from their work, they were still smiling. Ben noticed and smiled as well. When they went into the stable, Ben turned to Inger who was sitting at his side on the porch.

"Hoss is a healer. He worked on Joe today. I was thinking he would. He calms Joe down like no one else can. Things are really starting to look up now."

Inger smiled as well. Just an hour or so earlier, Adam and Jake had come back, and Jake couldn't wait to tell his mother what he had seen. Ben had said that they would start taking rides on the Ponderosa as well, but they had only ridden to the lake that day. She had enjoyed that immensely but was tired from all the traveling and wanted to enjoy some time relaxing in the comfort of having her own home and a family again.

That night at dinner, the brothers shared what they had done that day. Joe invited Jake to go with him into town on Saturday to buy some new clothes and a new saddle. When he explained why, Jake agreed. Hoss invited himself along, and then Adam said he ought to go as a chaperone so they didn't get Jake into too much trouble.

"He says chaperone, but what he means is 'wet blanket' cause older brother here never did know how to have any fun."

"Now Joe that ain't fair. Adam knows how to have fun. He just don't like doing it cause he might muss his hair or get his clothes dirty."

Hoss' comment got one of Adam's sneers which got Hoss and Joe laughing. Nevertheless, all four brothers went into town the next afternoon. Hoss drove the buckboard with Jake next to him as Adam and Joe rode. They made their purchases, had some drinks at a few of the saloons as Joe showed Jake his favorite parts of town. Then after dinner at the International House, the four rode home except Adam took Jake's spot on the wagon because Adam's leg was sore after working hard the previous day and then the long ride to town followed by a lot of walking. Sport was more rambunctious than usual with an unfamiliar rider. Each time Sport tossed his head though, Jake leaned forward and bit the animal's ear. After doing that several times, Sport calmed a bit which amazed the other three brothers.

"I'm not sure I would ever do that, but Jake, can you help me break some horses. I got some just as cantankerous as old Sport there. Hey I gave a horse to Adam. His name is Drum and he's just as cantankerous as Sport. Maybe you could calm him some too."

"Joe, I would be pleased to do so."

Hoss was reminded that he had a question he had been meaning to ask Jake. "Jake, why do you talk so fancy and all? You ain't never been to college like our older brother here."

"Mama taught me English from the time I was little, but I had no one with whom to speak it except her, and she corrected my grammar all the time. By the time I met any others with whom I could speak English, the patterns were well established."

Over the next few weeks, more questions would be asked and answered. Ben courted Inger, and both of them enjoyed their time as parents and grandparents for Keilani loved his new grandmother. Dinners were fun again as the family gathered each day. The only disappointing thing for Ben was that the situation had spurred Adam to draw up house plans and prepare to start building his own home. He knew the day would come when his sons would leave the house, but it was a melancholy thought. However Inger reminded him that he was only going to be about fifteen minutes away so his great fear that Adam would leave the Ponderosa would not be realized.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Ride em, Adam, ride em!" Hoss and Joe were yelling as Adam rode another mustang to a standstill. He slid off and limped over to the corral fence where his brothers were waiting. He had been baited into riding that morning by Joe's taunts. He knew he was going to pay for this with a sore leg and probably a scolding from Rose if not his father as well. On the other hand, it felt great to be doing something so physical again. Joe and Jake were taking turns as well and they were likely to get a lot more horses ready today than they could have otherwise. Joe was thrilled for he had an Army contract to fulfill, and this would put him ahead of schedule so if something unforeseen happened, it wouldn't matter so much.

As Joe headed for the chute for the next ride, Hoss put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "Ya done proved to him that ya ain't too old for this. Why don't you just call it a day? I seen ya limping after that last one."

"If I quit now, he'll just use that. He's two rides behind Jake and me now with that one that he had to back off on when he got so riled in the chute. When he rides this one, he'll still be one behind so he'll ride again after Jake rides. By then I should be ready for one last one, and it's pretty late in the afternoon so that'll be it."

"You're tempting fate, brother."

"A little, maybe, but when haven't we done that here? Tomorrow I'll be at the house working because I have a crew coming in to help me plaster all the inside walls. I won't be riding."

"Rose would have my hide ifn I didn't at least try to talk you out of this."

"Consider your hide saved then. I'll be sure to tell her you warned me off more than once. She does know how stubborn I can be."

There was a commotion by the chute then, and both brothers turned to look. Joe was having trouble with the same horse as before. Jake was there telling him the horse was too agitated to ride, and that he should pick another. Even on the opposite side of the corral, Adam and Hoss could hear how heated that exchange had gotten. They walked over to see if they could help. Hoss got there first because Adam was still limping.

"Now, hold on, boys, hold on. All that hollering ain't helping that horse settle down none."

"Well, if Jake would just keep his nose out of my business, the horse wouldn't be so agitated."

"Now, Joe, that isn't fair. That horse was too agitated when I got here. That was all I was trying to tell you. Why can't you wait another day to ride her?"

"Yeah, Shortshanks, what's wrong with waiting one more day with that particular horse? We got lots that still need breaking."

By then, Adam had reached the three. "So did you come to stick your nose in it too!"

Adam backed away with his hands in mock surrender to Joe's comment. He climbed up to sit on the top rail and watch his three younger brothers spar. It didn't take long. Joe was as frustrated as possible. He had wanted to show off not only for Jake but for Adam and the other men. They were always comparing him to Adam, and when he rode this wild one, he had hoped they might back off on the comments. Now with Adam riding more than he had even though Adam had a bum leg, and Jake riding as well as either of them, he would still be hearing the comparisons. He went to climb up on the horse anyway, and Hoss grabbed his arm.

"I ain't gonna let you risk your life for no reason just cause you're madder than a wet hen. You ain't riding no horses until you get your temper cooled down."

"So now it's you too. Well I've had it. I'll see you all later." Stalking to where Cochise was saddled, Joe mounted up and rode off."

"I'm sorry for doing that. I didn't realize how much of a temper he has. I only wanted him to try a different horse."

Hoss put his arm on Jake's shoulder. "He'll cool off. He heats up fast and cools off just about as fast." Looking up at Adam, Hoss had another question. "Now can you quit for the day."

"Yes, mother hen, I can quit. How about you, Jake?"

"I think I'll walk this mare around and see if I can't soothe her a bit. She's very upset right now, and she could get the whole bunch of them skittish the way she is now."

"Sounds good to me, little brother. Adam, do we have time to go take a looksee at your house? I ain't seen it since you got the windows and doors cut out."

As Hoss and Adam rode to Adam's home that was nearly constructed, Joe rode back to the ranch house. He had run Cochise hard, and felt bad about that. He wanted to get his horse home and properly groomed. He promised her a little extra grain for being so understanding and letting him ride off his frustrations. He was still mad at Jake though. He didn't think it was right for him to interfere especially because he had only arrived on the ranch a short time before.

Jake ended up walking the mustang mare all the way to the main corrals. He put her in a corral with just a few of the Ponderosa ponies thinking she would settle down better that way. He walked to the stable then and put his horse in a stall. As he was walking to the house, he saw Rose walking back from the garden it appeared, and she seemed very unsteady on her feet. He rushed to her, and when he got there, he reached out an arm to steady her.

"Oh, Jake, I'm sorry, I just started feeling faint for some reason. Only now I think I'm going to be sick too."

Reaching out one hand to a tree to steady herself more, Rose leaned over and retched. Nothing came out because she had already lost her lunch earlier. Jake held her hair back, and then wrapped an arm around her to make sure she didn't fall.

"Are you sick? Should I get some help?"

"Yes, and no. I know what it is. I just need a little time if you don't mind. Would you help me to walk to the garden bench in the back of the house? I would like to sit there for a bit."

Keeping his arm firmly around Rose's waist and holding her arm with his other arm, Jake walked back to the garden. He helped Rose sit on the bench, and then asked if he should stay or leave.

"If you don't mind, I would like a little company. And if I need help on the walk back, you'll be here."

When Joe rode into the yard and dismounted, he saw Jake holding Rose and then hugging her. Soon the two walked toward the back of the house and out of sight with Jake's arms wrapped around Rose. He stood for just a moment with his mouth open as if to say something, but then he walked in the stable with Cochise and put her in a stall and groomed her. He was still there when Adam and Hoss came riding in over an hour later talking about Adam's new house.

"Hey, Shortshanks, you all cooled off about Jake and that horse now?"

"No, I'm not, and I think it would be best if he left here as soon as possible."

Startled by the vehemence of Joe's statement, Adam and Hoss stood in shock. "Joe, one argument shouldn't cause you to talk like that. Jake belongs here as much as Adam and I do."

Adam issued a warning. "You better not let Pa hear you talk that way. He's not had a chance to get to know his son, and he deserves that."

"Well, if you knew what I knew, you wouldn't be talking like that. You better move to that house of yours as soon as you can, and put some good locks on the doors." With that, Joe stalked out of the stable heading to the house.

Watching him leave, Adam looked at Hoss. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know. He seemed more upset than when he was at the breaking corrals. It don't look like he and Jake had a fight. I've kinda been expecting that. It might clear the air a bit. He always seemed to want to take a swing at you when he was mad. Don't know what he's chewing on now though."

In companionable silence as they contemplated their younger brother's mood, Adam and Hoss groomed their horses and fed them before walking to the house. Hop Sing met Adam at the door of the kitchen with a cup of tea.

"That's very nice, but I could use a hot bath instead."

"No, not for you. For Missy Rose. She in garden. Not feel well. You give." Hop Sing handed the cup of tea to Adam who shrugged and walked back to the garden. When he got there, he found Jake sitting next to Rose on the bench.

"Thank goodness, you're here. Rose isn't feeling well, and I had to help her walk here."

"Jake, I didn't want you to say anything."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't think being ill was something you wouldn't tell Adam."

"It's too late, anyway, Rose. Hop Sing knows. He sent me here with some tea for you. It actually smells pretty good. Thanks, Jake. I think I can handle it from here."

With a relieved look, Jake got up and left. Adam took his spot on the bench and leaned close to Rose.

"All right, now. Tell me what's wrong or I'm taking you to Doc Martin right now."

"I'm not sick."

"So you're saying Jake just lied to me?"

"No, I'm sick and I'm not sick."

Shaking his head in exasperation, Adam wrapped an arm around Rose. "You're going to have to explain more than that."

"Well, I think you better hurry up and get that house done. Paint all the rooms including the one you said we would be using for a nursery some day."

For just a moment, Adam was blank, and then his face lit up in a grin soon to be replaced by a look of concern. "Are you all right? Is being sick part of it?"

"I have limited experience with that. We had a couple of married hands on the Nivens Ranch, and I seem to remember them complaining about this. But there are other signs."

"Some of those things I mentioned over the last few weeks?"

"Yes, my body is going through some changes, and the moodiness and the tears all the time are probably part of it. Mind you, I'm only going on what those ladies used to talk about when they were with child. It seemed like all the worst things were in the beginning when most people don't even realize why you're so different."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a scary thought. I wanted to be sure and get used to the idea too. You were so busy with the house and then you were gone on that drive so I had time to think about it all. I was going to tell you today but you didn't come back for lunch, and then I went to the garden to pick green beans and the smells of the garden made me sick. Hop Sing really is a wonder. I'm feeling better already."

"He does seem to brew some magic potions in there."

"Now tell me why you're limping so badly. You haven't limped that badly in several months."

"Well if I don't tell you, Hoss will. I was breaking a few horses today."

"What? How irresponsible is that? You have a wife and a child and a baby on the way, and you risk your life like that?"

"Well, in my defense, I didn't know there was a baby on the way."

"Adam, don't quibble. You shouldn't have been doing that and you know it."

"No, I don't know it. I have to do my share of the work around here, and breaking horses is part of it. It's no more dangerous than going on a cattle drive and I did that. Besides I didn't ride any horse that was going to be dangerous."

"They're all dangerous."

"No, not really. Some just need to learn who's the boss, and then they settle right down. Joe had one that wasn't that way, and he had words with Jake when Jake tried to tell him not to try riding him. I wouldn't ride a horse that the men know is too riled up or too dangerous to break. I got into it with Joe over a roan stallion he tried to break. Darn thing wanted to kill anyone who was on his back. Hoss finally took him up to the high pastures and released him."

"You are an expert on changing the subject just like your father claims you are. We were talking about you taking chances with your life and suddenly we're talking about Joe. I want to talk about you not breaking horses."

There is the crux of it though. I will continue to break horses and do anything else expected of me on this ranch. I won't do any horse breaking I'm not asked to do."

"So Joe asked you to help?"

With Adam's grimace at that question, Rose knew she had hit the bullseye. "So how did he get you to do it? Goad you into a contest? Complain that you don't do any of the hard work? Tell you you're getting old?" Adam's shamefaced look at that last one let her know she had struck it exactly right again. "You brothers need to grow up!"

"I'm all grown up in the ways that count. Would you like me to demonstrate?"

"Not here, and not with my mouth tasting the way it does even after this tea, but yes, you can make it up to me by demonstrating your other skills later."

"I'll take a cool bath to soak my leg later. Would you like to join me?"

With her mouth dropping open, Rose shook her head negatively. "Not when everyone in the house would know what we were doing."

"Now, I'm looking forward to us having our own house even more. When we go inside, do you want to tell them the news or keep it as our secret for a while yet?"

"I'd like to keep it just between us for now. Perhaps in the next few days, we could go to town and see Paul to confirm it and let us know how far along I am."

"You don't know?"

"I'm pretty new at this. Maybe I could talk to Inger about it. It's so difficult though. Today I just started crying when I was thinking about it. I've never been so emotional." At Adam's smirk, Rose had to amend her statement. "Well, I get angry and such, but I don't cry except now I do."

"That's a good idea. We should tell Pa then too because we can't expect her to keep a secret like that."

"If we get a chance then, let's tell them tonight."

With that settled, Adam helped Rose stand. She didn't feel dizzy any more, but it had come over her quickly earlier so she told Adam it would be best if she held on to his arm as they walked.

"No more riding for you then. It's too dangerous."

"Well what about your riding?"

"I'm not with child, prone to dizziness, and likely to throw up my lunch. Now that's settled, right?" Adam wanted to make sure he had her promise because he knew she would never break a promise. She hemmed and hawed a bit, and then agreed to promise not to ride until after the baby was born. She had known he was going to be overprotective, but at that moment, it felt very nice.

Once Adam and Rose walked inside, there was little they could do but tell their news. Joe had accused Jake of going after Adam's wife. That had gotten everyone involved defending one of the three. Ivy said Rose would never do such a thing because she loved Adam with all her heart. Hoss agreed with Ivy, and Joe said of course he would because she had him wrapped around her little finger. Inger said Jake wouldn't do anything like that, and Ben tried to get everyone to calm down. Then Joe had related what he thought he had seen. Jake said it didn't happen, and Joe called him a liar. Right about then, Adam opened the door and came in with Rose on his arm. Everyone was standing in the great room, and all the faces looked red and angry.

"What's going on?"

Trying to keep the peace, Ben stepped forward. "Nothing that we should talk about now. We should wait until everyone calms down, and then we can talk."

Unwilling to let it ride, Joe blurted out his accusation though. "This is too important to wait. Jake was kissing and hugging Rose. I saw them."

Bursting into tears, Rose turned and buried her head in Adam's chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and then they heard Keilani crying. Adam whispered in her ear, and Rose wiped the tears away as best she could and rushed to the stairs and up to their son. Adam turned a glare on Joe. "Don't you ever accuse my wife of being unfaithful. You won't like what happens next. We weren't going to say anything yet, but Rose was not being kissed and hugged by Jake. She was sick and dizzy, and he went to help her. He held her hair away from her face for obvious reasons and then had his arms around her to help her walk. I just did the same as we walked back here." By this time, Inger had her hands over her mouth squelching the urge to say something, and Ben had the beginnings of a smile as well. "We're going to have a baby, and I would appreciate it if this family could try to keep things mellow until Rose and I get used to the idea." Walking to the stairs, Adam had one last comment, and it was for Jake. "Sorry, Jake, this is what being part of a family is like sometimes." Then Adam walked up the stairs. He would have liked to take them two at a time and fast, but his leg hurt.

Every pair of eyes in the room turned to Joe then. He was about as embarrassed as it was possible to be. He had let jealousy and his competitiveness get in the way of loving his family and now had to apologize. "All right, I was a horse's ass. I'm very sorry Jake. I guess I wanted to find something bad that you had done to justify my feelings. I was very wrong, and I'm very sorry. I'll do your chores for the next week."

"The next month would show that you were genuinely sorry."

For a moment, Joe was speechless but then saw the grin Hoss had and the smirk on Jake's face.

"You really are a lot like Adam. But yes, I'll do them for the next month. I deserve it."

Looking at Inger, Ben had to chuckle. "You see, my dear, you were gone long enough that you don't have to worry about punishing our sons for wrongdoing. They now punish themselves."

The laughter released the last of the tension, and Ben went to tell Hop Sing there was something to celebrate at dinner. Hop Sing's joy was evident in the comments they heard then. Even the ones in Chinese sounded happy.

That night after dinner, Adam had a long soak in cool water. His leg felt much better afterwards as he walked through the great room to head up to bed. His father had some choice words about him breaking horses but without the vehemence of Rose's comments earlier. Rose had that self-satisfied smirk then, and Adam had to respond. "All right, all right. I won't do any horse breaking for the time being. But I'm not over the hill yet. When my leg is better, I plan to do it again." Then he pulled Rose up, and the two of them headed up the stairs arm in arm. Soon after that, Hoss and Ivy went up the stairs as well.

Joe just had to comment. "Jake, you see what happens when you get married. You have to go to bed earlier. Marriage makes you act older than you are."

Jake's comeback left Joe speechless which wasn't an easy thing to do. "Joe, by now, I would think you would know, they're not sleeping any more than they used to sleep. They've just found other reasons to retire early." With that, Jake walked outside to take a short walk in the fresh air before he headed to bed. It had become a nightly ritual with him. When Inger and Ben headed off to their bedrooms, Joe decided he would go to bed too.

Later after an especially gentle and sensuous bout of lovemaking, Rose asked Adam if he could please get her a cup of tea to help her sleep. They both knew that Hop Sing would have some tea in the warming oven just for that reason. Adam slid out of bed and pulled on his robed. He bent down to kiss Rose lightly before he headed downstairs. As he neared Inger's room, his father came out of her room wearing just his robe. Adam smirked and Ben looked exceedingly embarrassed.

"You may as well just spend the night with her. We all know about it anyway."

Surprised at that comment, Ben had to ask. "How could you all know?"

"Pa, you know that squeaky board in the hallway that you used to hear when we were sneaking in late so you could get up and let us know your opinion of our habits. Pa, it still squeaks."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Our sons are very understanding."

"Yes, but I think it will only last a short time. We need to do something about this, and I have the perfect idea. Inger, will you marry me again?"

Lifting her head from Ben's chest, Inger smiled and nodded. "Yes, my love, I think that is a wonderful idea. Perhaps as soon as possible."

"Well I don't think we have to worry about that, now do we?"

"Not about having a baby, no. But I worry about the example we are setting for our children and our grandchild. He should know that his grandparents are married if they are sleeping in the same bed."

"You're right of course, but I think Keilani is a little young to think anything at all. However, I did preach to my sons that they should be married before they were intimate with a woman, and now I've broken my own rule, and many times."

Smiling and laying her head back on Ben's chest, Inger went back to stroking his broad chest. "Yes, but we do have a unique situation. Ben, in my mind, we were always married, but your situation was so different. You had boys to raise and no one to help. Now though, we're together and nothing can keep us apart."

"So when do you want to have the wedding?"

"I think just a family gathering would be nice. So could the minister come here and marry us in front of our family. I think everyone in town thinks we're still married anyway. We told Roy and Paul, but other than the minister, the rest of your friends do not know the whole story."

The next day, Adam and Hoss were going to town to pick up supplies and furniture for Adam's new home so they were asked to contact the minister about coming out on Saturday to perform a wedding. Jake rode along to pick up some things that had been ordered for him. He was enjoying the interest women were showing in him and that no one was staring any more. There had been enough time for the basics of the story to be told around town. As far as the ladies in town were concerned, there was another eligible bachelor on the Ponderosa. Joe didn't seem the marrying type at that point, and Adam and Hoss were married, so Jake got a lot of attention. There were extra supplies to get as well to make the celebration special.

While Hoss was in the mercantile picking out the things they wanted and Adam's orders were being loaded in the wagon, Adam and Jake went to the bank to get some business done there. Ben wanted to make sure that the bankers knew that Jake represented the Ponderosa now, and just like with any transaction, he could co-sign with any of the others. So Jake accompanied whoever was doing business for the Ponderosa. After the mess with Tom Burns assuming Adam's identity, no funds were released from Ponderosa accounts without two of them requesting it. It was a minor inconvenience and a major safety feature for their accounts. Their next stop was supposed to be the minister's house but they never got there. As they left the bank, they were accosted by some out-of-work miners who probably liked John Miller better than they liked the Cartwrights.

"Hey, there goes that Cartwright that likes lying with darkies. He got himself a darky baby."

"Yeah, and the other ain't no better. Living with them Injuns all that time, he probably had a bunch of em too."

"Nah, I heard he don't like women. He ain't really a man. When he showed his face around here first, he had long hair like a girl."

"Well Injun lovers are better than darky lovers, dontcha think?"

"Nah, they're both just spittoon spit. That's what that bastard kid of his is worth too."

Holding off as long as he could, Adam finally stopped and stood with that dead stare of his. Jake stopped at his side. If the miners hadn't been drinking homemade hooch already that day, they might have known to move on, but the one closest to Adam just had to say one more thing.

"Now you got a Comanche bastard bitch. She whelp a litter for ya yet?"

He probably never saw the fist coming that laid him out on the street, but it did cause the other five to charge the two Cartwrights. Soon there was an all out battle in the street. Both Jake and Adam had fighting skills superior to the men who had accosted them, but they were outnumbered, and Hoss was nowhere in sight. At one point, Adam and Jake were back-to-back fighting.

"Pa's going to blow his top over this."

"So? What can he do?"

"I think you're about to get one of Pa's famous lectures."

Their conversation was cut short as two of the miners bull rushed them. Soon there were two more miners down so the odds were closer to even with three against two. As the miners stopped to catch their breath and circle around to use their numbers to better advantage, Adam had another comment.

"Rose is going to even angrier than Pa."

"Ah, you can take that one on by yourself. She's all yours. I bet she's got a sharp tongue when she wants to."

"Oh, yeah!"

At the moment the miners charged them, there was a shot in the air and Roy Coffee's unmistakable bellow. "What in tarnation is going on here?" Looking at the tangle of five bodies in the street and three others moaning and groaning off to the side, Roy had to ask. "Now, lemme see, who started this?"

The miners all immediately blamed Adam for throwing the first punch.

"So you boys had nothing to do with the two of them taking on the six of you? I do find that hard to believe. Well, Adam what do you got to say for yourself?"

"They insulted my wife, my son, and my brother as well as me. I couldn't let it stand."

"Well, now all of ya is coming over to my office. There won't be damages to pay seeing as how you was smart enough to do your brawling in the street, but there's fines a plenty for ya to pay."

"Sheriff, you know the mines are shut down. We can't pay no fines."

"Well, ya shoulda thought about that before you started this here trouble. Nobody got serious hurt, so I'll let it go at one night in jail or twenty dollars each. Anybody got any more complaints? Good then all of ya head for my office. And Adam Cartwright, I've a mind to tell you to stay out of town for two weeks until this here bunch calms down. Now you're a gonna pay that fine and then head out of town, and I don't want to see you around here for fourteen days. Is that clear?"

"Ah, Roy, there is one little problem with that. We're supposed to ask the minister to come to the house Saturday to marry Pa and Ma again. Do you suppose you could let me do that before I leave?"

"Well, you just better do that. You wouldn't want to be in any more trouble with your father than you're a gonna be when he sees the two of you. Now you give em my best wishes, and I'll be sure to offer my congratulations on Sunday. Oh, you can come to church as long as you leave town right after."

As Jake and Adam collected their horses from in front of the general store, Hoss walked out sucking on a peppermint stick. When he saw his brothers, he stopped in his tracks and took the peppermint stick from his mouth.

"So, what you two been up to? Adam, I done told ya if ya was gonna fight in town, you were supposed to let me know. I hate missing a right good tangle. Ain't had one in quite a while."

"Some miners insulted Rose, Keilani, me, and Adam. We had to let them know we wouldn't stand for that."

"Fine by me, but Pa is another matter entirely. I think I'll be delivering these things over to your house, Adam while you go tell Pa the good news."

"You can't get out of it that easily, Hoss. You're going to need some help getting some of that stuff up to the second floor."

"Dagnabit, I forgot about that dang staircase you got in your house. Why'd ya hafta put a second floor in anyway?"

"Rose likes the view. I had a nice one story design but she wanted a view so I added the second story on one side. I'm going to put a crow's nest up on top of it too."

"Why would you do that? She like crows or something?"

"No, Hoss, a crow's nest is the lookout basket up on ship's mast. When you put one on a house, it looks a little different, but the concept is the same. You can see for miles and miles."

"Well, I gotta see that when you're done. Can anybody go up there and look around?"

"The entrance will be just outside our bedroom so yes and no. As long as you ask, and no one is sleeping, yes."

The three brothers stopped at the minister's house to invite him to perform the wedding on Saturday. Then three brothers went to Adam's house and unloaded everything that belonged there. With a little finish work and organizing, it would be ready to move in. Adam thought the following week would likely be when they would move. Rose was already bringing Keilani over here every day to get used to the place so he wouldn't be frightened by another move. He had quite a few already in his life, and one of the things holding Adam on the Ponderosa was the desire to give his son a stable home for his childhood. Now he had another child on the way and was no longer thinking of traveling the world. He had enough of a world to satisfy him right there on the Ponderosa not that he regretted all of the places he had seen. Hoss and Jake took a look at Adam's plans for the crow's nest and where the ladder to it would be.

"Well, brothers, we delayed enough I think. Any more and Pa, Ma, and Rose are gonna start getting worried. Time for you to face the music, or in this case, the thunder."

Once they got to the main house and Ben got a look at Adam and Jake, there indeed was some thunder. Adam had that long suffering look he adopted now whenever his father tried to lecture him on his behavior, so Ben turned to Jake hoping to have an impact on him.

"You can't fight every ignorant, bigoted fool in town!"

"We can try."

Hoss was thinking there were two of them now and could only say one thing. "Oh, lordy."

Ivy and Joe almost started laughing but a fierce scowl from Ben stopped them in seconds. Rose walked outside with Keilani during the middle of it, and the look on her face did not portend a good result for Adam. He walked inside with her and up the stairs to put Keilani in his bed for a nap. Then she turned to him, and mostly repeated what he had heard from his father. He said he was sorry.

"But you're not really sorry, are you? The last time something like this happened, they came after you, and you still limp as a result."

"They came out to rustle cattle. That I ended up there was a coincidence."

With a loud sound of disgust, Rose left and went downstairs to get back to the sewing she had left when Keilani was fussing earlier. Things were very cool between Adam and Rose for the rest of the day. Everyone noticed at dinner that she was polite to her husband but there were none of those special looks, no touching, and certainly no teasing or praise. They expected him to have a lonely night. That was what Rose intended because she was very angry not just at Adam for fighting in the streets of town but also the ignorant people that they had to deal with all the time. She didn't want to discuss it because she knew Adam would use her own arguments to justify what he had done, and she wasn't going to play into that strategy.

After Rose and Adam got Keilani into bed that night, they went to their bedroom in silence. There were no words spoken at all. When Rose climbed into bed, she stayed well to her side not touching Adam at all. Normally they spooned, and she had a difficult time trying to go to sleep without his warmth pressed up against her back. She felt no movement from Adam's side of the bed but his breathing wasn't the slow measured breathing she heard when he was sleeping. She felt his hand on her back then, and it was electric the way the warmth penetrated her body.

"Rose, I am sorry for upsetting you. I knew you would be angry, and I fought anyway."

Adam kept his hand on her back and gently massaged Rose. Finally she rolled over on her back, and Adam's hand rested on her abdomen.

"Why do men have to be that way? Why can't you walk away from something like that? There have been women who have talked rudely to me, and I ignore them but make sure they don't get invited to any parties out here. I don't want to have any contact with them, and I certainly don't want to have them enjoying themselves at our family's expense. But I don't hit them and fight in the streets."

"I'm not sure I can explain it that well, but if I had walked away, they would have said more and more. They would have escalated the situation until I was forced to take a stand. They won't like it that I fought with them, but after a night in jail and getting blasted by their wives, they're unlikely to try it again. It's just the way it is especially with men who are out of work and drinking."

"I'm sorry I was so cold to you. I was mad." Even in the darkness, Rose knew Adam would be smiling. She felt his hand begin to caress her abdomen and she lay quietly letting him soothe her. He knew how to do it so well. He ran his hands up and down her arms, over her shoulders, and then up and down her legs. By the time he got to her legs, she wasn't relaxed any more, and he knew that tool. He lay his long body along hers and began kissing her as his hands started to caress her more intimately. Soon they had made up entirely and well satisfied with the makeup loving. Adam had been so sweet and considerate that Rose couldn't help but respond. By the time they finished, she had nothing left to say and snuggled into him and closed her eyes. Adam stroked her hair and her back and that was the last thing she remembered until the next morning.

The next morning, Ben was also over his anger. He felt for his son who had to endure all the inhumanity of racism and the knowledge that his children would probably face even more painful times. Adam had to suffer knowing his children would suffer so and he could do nothing to stop it. At least for two weeks there would be no incidents because Roy had banished him from town to let tempers cool.

By Saturday, all the tensions were forgotten as the men decorated the house, and Rose and Ivy presented Inger with new curtains and matching linens for Ben's bedroom that would now be theirs. The sons moved all of Inger's things to the upstairs bedroom. It was only a formality recognizing the relationship between their mother and father but yet felt so significant when they did it. Inger wore a new dress she had purchased just for this occasion, and all the men dressed in their Sunday suits. Ben had a dark grey suit with a satin vest underneath. The ladies dressed up as well. Keilani was dressed in his best clothing and spent most of the time on Adam's arm watching all the activities. The wedding dinner was the best that Hop Sing could cook, and Mabel and Hannibal had collaborated on a large and beautiful wedding cake. Hoss ate three pieces and wondered if it would be all right to have more cake for breakfast.

On Sunday morning, everyone dressed up again and headed to church services. The Cartwrights took up two full rows now. After church, Joe and Jake each found a lady who thought a ride to the lake would be fun once the men promised they would bring a picnic lunch from Hop Sing's kitchen and pick them up in the early afternoon. Ben and Inger stood together watching their family gather to return home with all of them laughing and talking together.

"Darling, was this the dream you had all those years ago of how our life could be?"

"Ben, this is better than any dream I had. This is heaven on earth."


End file.
